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Found on everything from family Bibles to signet rings, handkerchiefs to dress labels, the monogram is perhaps the most beloved and widespread tradition in the South. Monogrammed pieces are passed down through generations as a reminder of those who vowed their love before us, and the rows of monograms on an heirloom are an amazing encouragement to a bride just starting out on the marriage journey. However, the etiquette of which monogram to use when and where in your wedding can be particularly tricky, so we thought we’d revisit this topic and share a bit of what we’ve learned over the years!

From Farris + Taylor‘s wedding (photographed by Kristyn Hogan)

First of all, let’s define maiden monogram and married/joint monogram. A maiden monogram features your first initial on the left, middle initial on the right, and initial of your maiden name slightly larger in the middle (for example, my full name is Lisa Janel Olson, so my maiden monogram is LOJ). A married, or joint, monogram features the initial of the wife’s first name on the left, the initial of the husband’s first name on the right, and the initial of the couple’s married surname slightly larger in the middle (for my fiancé, David Kirk, and I, our future married monogram is LKD). Most etiquette books now suggest the order we have here, but in the past, the husband’s first initial was placed on the left because it was believed that his first and surname initials should not be separated.

Before the wedding: For anything you’re going to wear, such as a monogrammed robe, dress patch, clutch, or bouquet wrap, use your maiden monogram. For wedding details that are used before you say “I do,” such as save the dates, invitations, and ceremony programs, you can use your first initials joined by an ampersand with the bride’s first initial listed first (for Dave and me, this would be L&D). In general, a married monogram should not be used before the couple is officially married.

Clockwise from top left: Marenda + Jonathan (Anna K), Cameron + Evan (Virgil Bunao), Alyson + Brian (Leigh Webber), Eddie + Jordan (Harwell Photography), Angelica + Colby (Jake Holt), Celie + Shane (Sweet Tea Photography)

During the wedding: We love the idea of debuting your married monogram at your reception! It would be perfectly appropriate illuminated on your dance floor, iced onto your wedding cake, calligraphed on menus, or printed on your favor bags, to name a few. As an added bonus, if you don’t include your wedding date, some leftover monogrammed items (like cocktail napkins!) can be used long after your wedding day in your newlywed home.

Clockwise from top left: Blair + Brian (Justin DeMutiis), April + Nick (Pasha Belman), Kristin + Kyle (Martha Manning), Sarah + Nick (Pure 7 Studios), Sarah + Gabe (Ashley Seawell), Emily + Cole (Sposa Bella), Sarah + Gabe (Ashley Seawell), Claire + Michael (Watson Studios)

After the wedding: The exception to avoiding your married monogram until after the wedding is when registering for monogrammed items, since you’ll be using your registry gifts once you are married. Many stores offer monogramming on anything from candlesticks to cutlery, and in turn, these pieces may become heirlooms for future generations to cherish as much as you do!

For even more information about monograms, take a look at this past post, complete with a handy monogram guide, and find lots more monogram inspiration on our Pinterest board. Of course, if there’s anything we missed, chime in in the comments section!

lisa Written with love by Lisa
11 Comments
  1. avatar Bumby G reply

    I just love all the monogramming. Especially those purses. :)

  2. avatar Kat reply

    Love this post!!! Monograms & weddings go hand in hand :)

  3. avatar Mackenzie reply

    Love this post! I am thrilled to slap a monogram on anything that will stop moving long enough for me to do so. I do have a quick question, though. What are y’alls thoughts on a monogrammed aisle runner? Maiden monogram or married?

    • avatar Lisa reply

      Thanks, Mackenzie! That’s a tough one–we think the most appropriate option would be your first (or last) initials joined by an ampersand, or a 2-letter monogram as shown in this post: https://southernweddings.com /2012/09/19/monogram-etiquette-from-emma-j-design/ Hope that helps!

    • avatar Britt reply

      Love this!
      What about on the morning of the wedding on the wedding dress hangers?
      I see a lot of girls and on Etsy use Mrs. (Who they are getting married to). Should I use my Soon to be Last Name or my Maiden Name?

  4. avatar michele reply

    My wedding invitation monogram template only allows for 1 letter. Now what? help

  5. avatar Nursery Rhymes reply

    […] Daddy’s setting up the nursery donning goodies from our baby shower over the weekend… We just LOVE these monogrammed burp cloths from Auntie Lyndy ~ so Southern […]

  6. avatar Andrina T reply

    Help! I am embroidering a handkerchief as a wedding gift and am stumped on the monogram. Should I just use the bride’s first initial? Bride and groom first initials (in opposite corners)? Or maybe just her new last name initial, in case it gets passed down as an heirloom? Thanks!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Andrina! So fun! I think either the bride’s first initial or just her new last initial would be great. Don’t worry too much about what others will think if it’s passed down – I think part of the reason people love heirlooms is not because they have the right initial for them, but because the details remind them of dear family members!

  7. avatar Brenda reply

    I bought a bible for a wedding gift and I need to know on the page where it says presented to , do I put the brides name first or the grooms ?
    Thank you

  8. avatar Judy reply

    Monogram for bride’s bouquet …new or old? What about changing the ribbon on bouquet after the ceremony for photos from old to new? Thank you for suggestions.

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With its big wraparound porch and brightly colored interior, Katie and Brett knew the William Aiken House would be the perfect venue to show their friends and family how beautiful Charleston historic houses can be. After nine years of living in downtown Charleston, I’d say these two could take us on quite the gorgeous tour! Katie and Brett complemented the classic Southern details of the home with the perfect neutral color palette of gold and taupe neutrals, plus a subtle pop of coral brought in with the bridesmaids’ dresses and florals. I especially love the floating floral installation that accented the gazebo ceremony backdrop!

Hugs to Dana Cubbage for sharing K + B’s big day!

My dress, Babs by Hayley Paige, was the first one I tried on at the first store I went to! A few weeks after Brett proposed, I went to try on dresses with some of my bridesmaids and absolutely loved the first dress. I tried on about twelve more, just to see, but I knew that Babs would be the one. I immediately called my mom and begged her to come to Charleston the next week to see it, so she happily drove down from Richmond!

Describe your wedding flowers. My bouquet included peonies, roses, and ranunculus, and was tied with an ivory ribbon. The boutonnieres were coral ranunculus with a touch of greenery, and Brett’s had a white flower in it as well. Each one was tied with twine. The bridesmaid bouquets were mostly white and ivory with a touch of color and greenery, finished with an ivory ribbon. The centerpieces were ivory, coral, and blush flowers in gold vases. We also attached greenery to the lounge chandeliers and tent poles.

We did decide to do a first look, as most of our married friends and our photographer recommended it. I had my doubts, as I wasn’t sure I wanted Brett to see me before the ceremony, but on the day of, I was thrilled we decided to do it. I was extremely nervous and it helped to be able to see Brett and calm my nerves. It was also nice to get the bridal party pictures finished so that after the ceremony, we could just enjoy our reception!

What made you choose your ceremony and reception venues? Did they have any special significance to you? I’ve lived in Charleston for nine years now and have always lived downtown! It has a special place in my heart and I have walked past the William Aiken House tons of times. Once in college, I even said that I would love to get married there someday. After we toured a few other venues, we decided it was the best spot for our wedding. It had plenty of space, and we could do the ceremony and reception at the same venue, which was important to us.

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? The house itself is so Southern! It has a big wraparound porch and panel doors, and the interior is full of bright colors and antiques. It really reminded us and our guests how beautiful Charleston historic houses can be. We also had shrimp and grits with fried green tomatoes as one of our food stations!

Describe your wedding cake or dessert. We had a four-tiered lace cake with a ribbon on the third tier that matched the sash on my dress. It even had a real peony flower, just like the flower on my sash! The first and last layers were hummingbird, the second layer was red velvet, and the third layer was carrot cake, all finished with cream cheese frosting.

For our first dance, Brett suggested “Come Away With Me” by Norah Jones, and when he played it for me, I knew that it was the one. Her voice is stunning and we both love the song! For the father/daughter dance, I let my dad choose the song, and he picked “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart–I’m the youngest!

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. Brett and I met at a mutual friend’s party when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore at the College of Charleston. We were good friends for almost a year and then started dating at then end of summer 2003. We graduated in 2005 and 2006 respectively and then moved to Greenville before moving back to Charleston in 2009–we missed it so much! We were together for nine years before we got engaged!
Tell us all about the proposal! Brett proposed the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend in 2013. He had asked about going to dinner at a new jazz club, The Mezz, earlier in the week, which I was excited about. On that Thursday, I was feeling tired, so I emailed Brett at work to suggest that we go over the weekend instead. Brett insisted that we go that night, because we had company coming in for the weekend. I have to admit, when he said this, I though, “Hmm, he’s never insistent on dinner plans…could this be the night??” Once that popped into my head, I finished work and went to get my nails done, just in case! :) When I got home, Brett asked me to come up to our rooftop patio for a pre-dinner drink. It was a gorgeous night and he started talking about how long we’d been together. We could even see my college dorm from where we were, and we laughed about the memories from that time in our life. After saying a lot of very sweet things, Brett got down on one knee and proposed!! I immediately said yes and was so happy! Afterwards, we called our friends and family and enjoyed a lovely dinner at The Mezz.
When did y’all get married? March 22, 2014
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 150
Did you have something borrowed, blue, old, and new? I borrowed the pearl necklace I wore from my mom (it was originally my great grandmother’s, and my sister also wore it at her wedding). My something blue was the blue “I Do” undergarment I wore. My something olds were my pearl bracelet and earrings, and my something new was my dress, of course!
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. Walking down the aisle, I chose “Canon in D” by Pachelbel, because I think the song is so joyful and beautiful! Walking back up the aisle, we chose “The Wedding March” by Felix Mendelssohn. We had a string trio play the songs at both the ceremony and the cocktail hour.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? I think the hardest thing about planning a wedding is picking out each little detail and then just hoping it all fits together! Hiring a wedding planner was the best decision we made.
What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? The groomsmen bought suits from Jos. A. Bank during the buy three, get one free sale, so they were heavily discounted, which was especially great considering we needed ten of them! We also ordered ties from TieBar.com, which were beautiful silk ties for only $15!
What is the one detail or vendor that you were so happy to have as a part of your wedding? Our band! They made the reception so much fun, it almost felt like a concert!
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: We made a fun sign with our wedding hashtag on it. Not very traditional, but it allowed us to see everyone’s pictures so easily!
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? My most memorable moment was walking out the door towards the aisle and seeing all my friends and family smiling back at me. My heart was pounding–I was so nervous, but so excited. I can still picture everyones’ faces, including Brett’s!
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you most looking forward to about married life? We are hoping to buy a house in the near future, as we’ve been in our two-bedroom condo for almost five years. We are most looking forward to spending the holidays with each other–we have been together for nine years and have never seen each other on Thanksgiving or Christmas! I am now glad we kept holidays separate, because it gives us a lot to look forward to and we will be able to create our own memories and traditions together, as a married couple.

Photographer: Dana Cubbage Weddings /Videographer: KLC Video Productions / Planner: Alexandra Caldwell Fisher / Venue: The William Aiken House / Florist: Tiger Lily / Cake Baker: Ashley Bakery / Caterer: Fish / Rentals: Snyder and Event Works / Lighting: Innovative Event Services / Band: The Dickens Band / Bride’s Gown: “Babs” by Hayley Paige / Bridal Salon: White on Daniel Island / Paper Products: MerryMint Designs / Bride’s Hair Clip: Stella Nova / Hair Stylist: Shayla Battle of Paper Dolls Wedding Hair & Make-up / Makeup Artist: Kristen Brown of Paper Dolls Wedding Hair & Make-up / Bride’s Shoes: “Veny Wedge Pump” by Vince Camuto / Bridesmaids’ Dresses: “Zoe” in Terracotta Silk Shantung by Lula Kate / Men’s Attire: Jos. A. Banks / Bow Ties: The Tie Bar / String Trio: Classical Charleston / Calligrapher: Paige Tanenbaum / Save The Dates: Wedding Paper Divas

Dana Cubbage and A. Caldwell Events are delightful members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
6 Comments
  1. avatar Lisa reply

    Such a stunning venue–perfect for this downtown Charleston couple!

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    […] Dana Cubbage via Southern Weddings Magazine […]

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    […] Coral Charm Dana Cubbage did an absolutely amazing job capturing this colorful William Aiken House wedding.  The bride, Katie, chose the color coral to help bring out the bold features of the William Aiken House.  From the greenery provided by Tiger Lily Weddings hanging on the gates as guests walked in, to the cozy lounges from Eventworks by the Carriage House and the greenery draped chandeliers from Innovative Event Services, this wedding was nothing short of unforgettable!  *Originally published on Southern Weddings.* […]

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    […] Between my sister’s birthday and her one year wedding anniversary is the perfect time to FINALLY post about her amazing Southern wedding. (Seriously, she’s been featured in like eight magazines.) […]

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    […] Credits: Coral Bridesmaid Dress via Southern Weddings/Photographer: Dana Cubbage Weddings|Cake Decorated with a Cascade of Flowers via Wedding […]

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Happy Birthday, Lisa!

by in In The Office on

Lisa has been with our team for less than a year, but it’s already hard to imagine what we would do without her. One of her most important contributions to what we do y’all are familiar with – her wonderful way with introducing the couples you meet on our blog every day. As our “hopeful romantic,” every story is genuinely unique and special to her – and, more often than not, moves her to tears. So in honor of her birthday, we’ve rounded up seven of the moments most likely to set off the office waterworks – and interspersed our own little love letter to this gal in between.

Sweet relationships between sisters and moms (like in Abby and Cameron’s wedding by Jess Barfield)

From Nicole: Lisa! I’m happy as a pup with two tails to know you! You’re beautiful inside and out — always seeing the bright side of situations and the best version of other people. You have a knack for making friends almost instantly, and you keep them around with your big heart, love for adventure, and thoughtfulness. I am so lucky to be celebrating another year of you because in big and small ways, you inspire the best in people. (Plus, hooray for another year of playing the Country BBQ Pandora station, gushing over puppies, and lunches outside!)

Friends who overflow with genuine happiness (like in Kat + Matt’s wedding by Katelyn James)

From Morgan: Happy Birthday, Lisa! I hope you have a great day! I have learned so much from you and am very thankful for the time you’ve invested in teaching me the Shop Manager roles. You’re such a joy to be around and I love hearing your many stories from all of your adventures!

Tears at a first look (like in Leah + Austen’s wedding by Nancy Ray).

From Marissa: Happy birthday, Lisa! I hope that not only is your birthday filled with joy, but your entire year is filled with all the love and happiness your heart can hold! Make sure Dave spoils you today. From one teary-eyed editor to another, XOXO!

Anytime a couple has weathered major storms (like Beth and Brody, photographed by Jeremy & Kristin).

From Emily: Lisa, everything I thought I knew about you before I ever met you has been confirmed a hundredfold in the time we’ve spent together. That says so much to me – that you are just as thoughtful, kind, driven, purposeful, and delightful day in and day out as you seem on first glance. I am so grateful that we get to be each other’s sidekick, and there’s no one I’d rather show up dressed the same as nine days out of ten.

Grooms crying at the ceremony (like in Laura and Micah’s wedding by Ryan Price).

Grooms crying, period (like in Kristy and Cory’s wedding by Sara & Rocky).

From Kristin: Happy birthday to the one who loves, love! Lisa, your genuine love of heartfelt stories and ability to emotionally connect to what really matters inspires me to love better, stronger, and more fiercely each day. You are a blessing to the SW family and add a sweet Texas touch to our team. I hope you birthday is filled with love, joy and a tear-jerking wedding video or two.

Intergenerational anything (like in Molly Gee and Justin’s wedding by b mo foto).

From Lara: Lisa, our “Hopeful Romantic,” we are so blessed to have you as a part of our lives! I am also blessed to have you as a neighbor. As we celebrate your birthday, we celebrate all you have added to our lives — that calls for a lot of celebration! I am so grateful for you and wish you the most joyful year ahead! P.S. Grace will no doubt be singing you several renditions of “Happy Birthday” today as well :)

Dads and daughters (like in Laura and Shannon’s wedding by Paul Johnson).

We’d love for you to leave a little love note for Lisa in the comments, too!

emily Written with love by Emily
14 Comments
  1. avatar Lisa reply

    Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this super sweet post! Love y’all! :)

  2. avatar Erin reply

    Happy Birthday Lisa! I love reading your Real Wedding introductions, and I hope you have an amazing day!! :)

  3. avatar Jadzia reply

    I didn’t tear up until I saw the grooms! Beautiful post, thank you SW ladies for celebrating my wonderful daughter in this way!

  4. avatar Abby reply

    Happy Birthday sweet Lisa! You’ve been an awesome addition to the SW team and I enjoy your posts! :)

  5. avatar Sara Velordi reply

    Happy, happy birthday Lisa!! So grateful to have worked with you for a few weeks :) I hope your day is amazing!!

  6. avatar Kat reply

    Oh happy, happy birthday, Lisa!!!!!

  7. avatar Samantha Cordialini reply

    Wishing you the happiest of birthday’s, Lisa! I hope your day is full of joy, laughter, and love! xoxo

  8. avatar Catherine Grace reply

    Happy Birthday to you Lisa, your kindness and graciousness is so evident even 12,000km away. You are incredible at what you do. :)

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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