Laura’s been a long-time Southern Weddings reader, so we were thrilled when we saw that this sweet North Carolina wedding with the loveliest pops of red was hers and Geoff’s! I absolutely love how Laura + Geoff incorporated old traditions and little tributes to family (y’all must read about their cake, which Laura baked herself!). Laura’s favorite detail from the big day is one that so perfectly describes how the pretty things can be the ones closest to our hearts. “My favorite detail was being able to finally wear my mother’s pearls. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I would wear my mother’s pearl necklace on my wedding day. It is the same necklace that my grandmother had given to my mother on her wedding day 30 years ago. Now they are mine to pass on to my future daughter.”
Just thinking about that piece of family that Laura carried with her totally changes the way you’ll see this wedding. Okay, I admit it won’t change the way you react when you see how gorgeous their budget-saving flower decision turned out, but it will make your heart full and happy! Big thanks and hugs to McDorman Photography who shared this with us.
I really wanted the bouquets to have an organic autumn feel. I found a picture of a centerpiece in a magazine, showed it to Denny and Debbie at our first consultation and said that it was exactly what I wanted. My bouquet ended up more beautiful than the picture. It was absolutely gorgeous (and heavy!). I loved how the bridesmaids’ bouquets gave a great pop of color to their neutral dresses.
I have been a reader of wedding magazines and blogs for years, so by the time I actually got engaged, I had a pretty clear idea of the kind of dress I wanted: something simple, classic, and timeless. A few months before Geoff proposed, I saw a dress that I loved in a wedding magazine and it seemed like I kept seeing the same dress popping up on different blogs. I knew it was the dress for me. The weekend after we got engaged, I met my Mom at a local bridal store that carried the dress. I tried on a couple of other dresses first just to make sure that there wasn’t one I liked better, but when I finally tried on my dream dress, my Mom and I both knew that it was “the one.” It took all of 45 minutes! Other than saying yes when Geoff proposed, choosing a wedding dress was the easiest decision I had to make in the whole wedding process.
Did you decide to do a “first look”?
Yes, we did decide to do a first look. As many other couples can attest, it really didn’t take anything away from the ceremony and seeing each other as I walked down the aisle. By seeing each other before the ceremony, we were able to relax and catch our breath before the craziness of the day began. As my wonderfully practical husband pointed out, by being able to take a majority of the pictures before the ceremony, we were able to spend more time with our guests at the reception. I’m so glad we decided to have a first look, the pictures that we took before the ceremony ended up being some of my favorites.
Did you write your own vows? We stuck with the traditional vows. Neither one of us would ever claim to be eloquent, so we knew there was no way we could do a better job at finding the words to adequately express the solemnity of the covenant that we were entering into.
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony?
We were blessed to be able to have each of our mentors do a reading during the ceremony. Dave read Ephesians 2:4-9 and Mrs. Carol read Philippians 2:1-5. We really wanted to put an emphasis on grace; the grace that Christ bestowed on us and the grace that we will have to bestow on each other throughout our years of marriage.
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding. Our processional was one of my all-time favorite orchestral pieces, “Simple Gifts from Appalachian Spring” by Aaron Copeland. This piece is so beautiful and has always conveyed a sense of hope and happiness to me — perfect for our wedding. In the program, I included a verse from the song that perfectly summed up how we were feeling, “’Tis the gift to be simple, ‘tis the gift to be free ‘tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, and when we find ourselves in the place just right, ‘twill be in the valley of love and delight.” I also wanted to make sure that congregational singing was included in the ceremony. We chose to have “Come Thou Fount,” and then during communion, “Be Thou My Vision.” During these songs, my former piano teacher played and my brother accompanied her on the acoustic guitar. I will admit that it took us a really long time to agree on which song we were going to walk back up the aisle. A week before the wedding, we finally decided on “How Sweet It Is” by James Taylor.
This next photo makes me so happy! Those cheerful pops of red throughout Lauren + Geoff’s tent are actually paper flowers!
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? Geoff says it was when I walked down the aisle. He says that the combination of the music and the doors opening dramatically and the sun streaming in — it was like something from a movie and he’ll never forget it. For me, I just remember how beautiful the day ended up being. October in North Carolina can be unpredictable. One day might be in the 80s and then the next day you could wake up with frost on the ground. We had prayed for months and months for the weather to be nice. With 10 days out, there was a 60% chance of rain. But the day ended up being gorgeous. We literally could not have asked for a more beautiful day. To God be the glory!
What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding?
Family played a huge part in our wedding, from wearing my Mom’s pearls, to having a family photo table at the reception. Of course the food was definitely Southern! Gracious, we had pimento cheese sandwiches, country ham biscuits, chicken salad sandwiches, moon pies, and about seven different other kinds of pie. And as every North Carolinian knows, October means fair time, so we had kettle corn (my favorite fair treat) during the “cocktail hour.” And of course every North Carolina shindig has to include Cheerwine and corn hole!
Describe the proposal.
We had been dating for almost three years and we had talked about marriage and the future. I knew a proposal was eventually on its way, but I had no idea when it would actually happen. It was a beautiful Saturday in April and we had a full day of fun planned. It included a trip to the Farmer’s Market, a picnic lunch, and planting flowers that afternoon. It was a wonderful day, but by that evening, I was exhausted. I took a quick shower, changed into my sweats, threw my hair up in a messy bun and was looking forward to a relaxing evening of TV viewing. I came into the living room but Geoff was nowhere to be found. I looked through the house and still couldn’t find him. As I was headed to the garage, thinking that maybe he was working on something in there, I could see what looked like candlelight coming from the back deck. Immediately I felt my knees go weak and I thought to myself, “This is it! This is it!” My second thought was, “I don’t have a lick of makeup on my face, my hair looks awful, and I’m in sweats!” But I headed outside anyway where Geoff had set up a newly purchased table and chairs (I had told him months earlier that I thought it would be nice to eat outside on the deck when the weather was nice) with candles all around. When I sat down, Geoff started chatting about nothing in particular, just shooting the breeze! It occurred to me that maybe this wasn’t it, that maybe he was just being sweet and romantic. Fortunately, before I could do too much second-guessing, Geoff was kneeling in front of me and proposing. Of course I said yes, sweats and all!
We had a dessert buffet filled with mini-cupcakes, pies, mini moon pies, and my Mom’s homemade pumpkin bread. Instead of a large cake, we decided to have a small cutting cake for the two of us, which I made, called an “Appalachian Stack Cake.” The history behind these kinds of cakes is that when the mountain people of Southern Appalachia gathered for weddings, because cakes were so expensive, neighboring families each prepared a layer of the ginger and molasses cake to donate to the celebration. The bride’s family was responsible for cooking the dried-apple butter to spread between the layers. It is said that the number of layers in a cake was a measure of the popularity of the hosting family. Although I didn’t make our guests each bring a layer of cake, I thought this would be a nice tribute to Geoff’s family who are originally from the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina.
How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story.
I had lived in Greensboro, NC for about a year but was having difficulty meeting new people outside of work. My mom suggested that I try the singles group at a nearby church. I was a little wary of the idea since I always thought “single’s group at church” was a euphemism for “trying to find a husband,” which I wasn’t trying to do. I had come to terms with my single life; I just wanted to make some friends. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try it out. I remember meeting Geoff that first Sunday and he seemed nice enough, and he was pretty cute, but he was kind of quiet and reserved — not really my type (not that I was looking!). As the most eligible bachelor in our group of mostly girls, I didn’t expect that he would take any particular notice of me anyway. But as the months went by and we started to get to know each other better, I realized that regardless of my initial impression, he was actually quite funny, but more importantly, he was a godly man. I remember emailing my friends and telling them about this guy Geoff, saying that “I don’t expect that anything will happen between us, but I know that he is the kind of man that I would like to marry one day.” Geoff says that my cheerfulness and sense of humor attracted him. We got to know each other even better through phone conversations that would last until the wee hours of the morning and eventually, we started dating. My mom claims full credit for us getting together since she was the one that suggested I visit the church in the first place.
In what month did you get married?
October
How many guests attended your wedding?
125
Our favorite detail of the wedding was:
Geoff’s favorite detail was the Coke and Cheerwine in the glass bottles. My favorite detail was being able to finally wear my mother’s pearls. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I would wear my mother’s pearl necklace on my wedding day. It is the same necklace that my grandmother had given to my mother on her wedding day 30 years ago. Now they are mine to pass on to my future daughter.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding?
Finding a reception venue. We had found a church that we loved, but there wasn’t an adequate reception venue within 15 miles. After weeks of searching, my Mom finally suggested the idea of having the reception on the lawn of the church. It took a while to work out the logistics and we had to increase our budget, but I’m so pleased with how it all turned out. It ended up being exactly what I wanted.
What range did your wedding budget fall into?
Less than $10,000
What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on?
The tent. It wasn’t in the original budget, but it really helped to achieve the look and feel I was wanting for the reception. It was totally worth the extra expense and I would do it again for sure.
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding?
Sit down and each make a list of the things that are most important to you for the wedding. It’s almost inevitable that you won’t be able to have everything you want, but by making the list, you can at least try and first take care of the things that are most important to you both. And remember, regardless of everything else, the most important thing is that you are married at the end of the day.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future?
We’re enjoying being newlyweds and working on some DIY home projects. We’re also talking about having some little ones in the next year or two. Even though my wedding is over, I can’t seem to give up my passion for weddings. I’m hoping that I can someday start working in the wedding industry.
I’m not a huge fan of the “family wedding party” additions, myself. Honestly, just because I have 2 brothers, I didn’t expect my fiance to automatically put them in his wedding party. I think the tradition is a bit archaic. We actually made the decision to NOT include any brothers/sisters in our wedding parties, as we’ve learned that family members are the biggest source of wedding drama and issues.
Put people in your wedding that mean the MOST to you, the people who you treasure and love most. If one of those people happens to be your fiance’s siblings, great. Its your wedding, and you should include the people you want, not the people you feel obligated to include. You’ll be much happier in the long run :-)
About family being in the wedding party. I just had this situation arise. We had only been engaged about a month, when my fiance’s mother asked about the rehearsal dinner (she is paying) and who would come. I didn’t say her daughter and sister-n-law because I hdan’t included them in the wedding party. She was hurt and thought it was not a good way to stat out. I have friends whom have been in my life for 15+ years and we wanted to keep the party small. So I asked his sister and her soon to be here baby to be an honoray bridesmaid and honoray ringbearer and the brother in law to walk in the mom. The result, no hurt feelings. :)
My cousin had a similar issue, though in her case, her groom didn’t feel he had a close enough relationship with her brothers to ask them to be groomsmen and the brothers were a bit surprised at how early in their relationship the engagement came. So, the groom didn’t ask them, which ended up hurting both her brothers and the bride’s parents, who wanted to see all their children at the altar when their baby girl said, “I do.” Ultimately, and after more than a few tears, the brothers were asked to be groomsmen, and they graciously accepted. I can say for certain that things would have gone much more smoothly if the groom had simply taken that opportunity to get to know his future brothers-in-law better and not hesitated in asking.
The extra tuxes cost far less than the headaches!
Yes! This is the best answer!
Family is forever you don’t want to shake that bond or else you will spend the rest of your life together regretting it. I would take the heeded warning from the fiancé especially since it seems that effort have been made to create that family bond.
My fiance has two sisters. I asked one of them to be a bridesmaid simply because I know her better. We were good friends in high school, and she actually set my fiance and I up. After her brother and I started dating, things between us got a little rocky, but they have improved little by little over the years. I saw asking her to be a bridesmaid as a way of extending an olive branch between us, in hopes that we can better our relationship, seeing as how we’re going to (finally) be family now! I didn’t ask his other sister to be a bridesmaid. I’d only met her once, and she lived apart from the the family for about 8 out of the past 10 years. And as far as I can tell, there’s no hard feelings on her side about not being a maid. She has two really young daughters and definitely seems like the type who would feel more comfortable tending to them during the wedding events.
This is a tough one. I firmly believe that your bridesmaids should be the people you want to surround your self with (not only on your wedding day, but also during the wedding planning!). However, I do think family is extremely important because her fiance wouldn’t be who he is without his sisters in his life. I think the best thing is to find a balance. She could find a meaningful way to include the girls in her wedding, whether its doing a reading together or saying a sweet speech about their brother growing up. They don’t necessarily need to be her maids! The important thing is to let the girls know how important they are to her and her fiance, and how excited she is to have them be a part of their wedding.
My groom has 2 older sisters. They’re most definitely not numbered among my bridesmaids – can you imagine taking them on your bachelorette or having them at a lingerie shower? If not, you aren’t close enough for them to be your bridesmaids, I think. Ask them to be honorary bridesmaids, maybe – not sure what your colors are, but ask them to wear a dress in a neutral, easy to find color, and give them monogrammed pashminas in the same color as the bridesmaids and small bouquets. I am asking my future sisters-in-law to be greeters. I felt like that placed them front and center enough so folks would know I’m still happy to have them in the family.
You just have to find a way to include them that makes everyone comfortable. I am sure they don’t *want* to be your bridesmaids, because they know what a pain it is to be a bridesmaid – so much that you should only do it for a good friend! – and they probably don’t think you’re closer friends than you believe. You just need to give them a way to feel like they weren’t slighted. It would be better to be proactive about figuring it out and calling to ask, so that they feel it was “part of the plan” and not just something you did to throw them a bone.
I have three brothers and my fiance only has one sister. Needless to say, it was a little unfair for him ;) We met and currently live in Colorado, so Jordan (fiance) hasn’t had the time to get to know my brothers very well at all.
Having been raised in the South, and getting married in the South, it wasn’t odd for me to think to include my siblings and his sibling in our wedding party. How I approached it was, it was important for me to have my brothers stand beside us, as it was important for him to have his sister a part of the wedding. Yes, my brothers are groomsmen, but not because they are best buds with my fiance…but because they are my brothers and it means something to me. I also have friends that I have known for 20+ years now, and they are standing beside me along with my future sister-in-law…whom I will know for another 20+ in the future :)
You could always give them another part in the wedding such as reading scripture, or a literature passage that means a lot to you. I’m honoring one of my girls that way, and Jordan is having one of his guys sing in our wedding. Still honored, but don’t have to be in the wedding.
Sisters and brothers may decline, but it’s always polite to ask….and may help the new relationship with the extended families start off on the right foot :)
Oh also, both our siblings declined the bachelor/bachelorette festivities… so they were honored, but really only wanted to be included in the actual wedding!
This was a very big issue for my side of the family when planning our wedding. My husband had never met my brother until the day of the rehearsal. My brother lives several states away, I see him only about every other year, and we are honestly not that close. When my husband and brother did have the opportunity to meet (before we got engaged), my brother declined. This upset both my husband and I very much, so when the time came for my husband to pick his groomsmen, it was almost a no-brainer that my brother would not be asked, but instead, we were going to ask him to read scripture during the ceremony. This was NOT acceptable to my mother; she wanted him in the actual wedding party. Mom and I shed countless tears before finally we gave in to the peer pressure and asked him to be a groomsman (and this was months after my husband asked his other guys). My brother happily said Yes, they met at the rehearsal, and our wedding day went off without a hitch. Looking back, it really did not make a difference in the grand scheme of things…we were getting married, regardless of who our bridesmaid and groomsmen were, and we just wanted our families to be happy. To be truthful, I will always remember what a headache the wedding etiquette was for our family, and since they held the purse strings, they do get a say in the decisions. Keep in mind a wedding is not just about the uniting of two people, but the uniting of two families lasting the rest of your lives. Ask yourself if wedding party is a fight worth fighting over, or if a simple arrangement on your part can mean another’s happiness.
I am getting married in a little less than a month. Out of tradition, I made my sister my maid of honor. She is younger (thankfully just turned 21) and originally we weren’t super close but the wedding has definitely brought us closer together…she really took things seriously and stepped up to the plate!
My mom really wanted my brother to be a groomsmen, so my fiancé agreed. However, that made my fiancé then also feel obligated to ask his brother to not only be in the bridal party, but to be the best man. His brother is 15 years older and they are not very close as his brother is a bit immature despite the age gap. His brother did not really step up to the plate at all and is basically only walking down the aisle the day of the wedding. But, the rest of the groomsmen including my brother are people my fiancé feels close too.
So basically, including family can work out better than expected, worse than expected whatever. But honestly it is just a day and I think it’s worth it to keep the family happy. As long as no one’s going to wreck havoc at the shower, bachelorette or on the wedding day throw ’em in there. Don’t be offended if they skip stuff like showers or bachelor/bachelorettes (being quiet and unseen is better than starting a fight or attending and being a downer). At the end of the day, you and your hubby is what’s important!
I think that if you don’t have a close relationship with his sisters, then you don’t need to include them in the wedding party, but it would be nice to try to include them in the wedding, somehow.
We included our 3 siblings in the wedding party – my sister and his sister as bridesmaids, his brother as a groomsman. It worked out perfectly, for a total wedding party of 14 – which is a little large, but very Southern :) We’re both very close with our families, so it was wonderful to be able to include them.
You are not only marrying the man but his family! I was thrilled years ago when my brother’s fiance asked me to be a bridesmaid even though we weren’t that close yet. And when I got married this past year she was in my bridal party! I think of her as my sister now! And of course I included my husband’s sister and my brother was a groomsman as well as his brother. We talked about it when making our decisions and felt like family was most important. Betsy’s case is a little more difficult, but if it’s going to help the relationship why not? I agree that even including them in some way such as reading scripture is very meaningful to both sides.
I was in this situation with my brother and sister-in-law from the non-bride side of things. My sister-in-law was struggling with her bridal party and at one point was thinking about not even including her OWN sister as a bridesmaid. Because of this, I told them that if she wasn’t including her sister, they didn’t have to worry about asking me as well. I didn’t realize when I said this how hurtful it turned out being. She ended up having 6 maids (including her sister), but did not ask me – to be frank, I felt very left out.
At the wedding, they found the sweetest way to include me! I was asked to be a witness, so I got to stand up there next to my brother while they were doing their vows. I will say… it was not pretty at the time, but in the end was really special.
When you leave siblings out, you risk hurting their feelings as well as your new in-laws feelings. When we found out our only daughter would not be asked to be in our only son’s wedding we were all hurt, confused, and saddened. So, yes, you don’t ‘have’ to include anyone, but, trust me, if you care about your new family at all, then don’t start out this way.