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Knowing that so many of you are newly (ish!) sporting an engagement ring, we’ve been working our way through wedding planning must-dos here on the blog for the past few weeks. After several rounds of budget advice, it’s time to move on to vendors: finding them, hiring them, and working with them! For all of our best wedding planning advice in one place, be sure to pick up your copy of the Joyful Wedding Planner!

For many of us, planning a wedding is the first time we’ve had to hire someone – maybe ever, and almost certainly for something creative! It can feel like a lot of pressure to get it right, because your wedding vendors are the folks who will transform your big, precious ideas into a celebration that can be enjoyed by the people you love most. We’ve got a whole roster of vendors we love for browsing, but today we’re taking it one step further and really breaking down the question “how do I find vendors for my wedding?”

Use your network. Naturally, some of the best recommendations come from people you trust. Loved the flowers at your best friend’s wedding? Ask her who she used. And remember, negative reviews can be just as helpful as positive ones!

Ask your vendors. Found a vendor you 100% click with? Ask him for other vendor recommendations. Photographers and planners, especially, work with countless vendors every weekend and can have great insight into the best options in your area.

Look to blogs and magazines. Wedding blogs and magazines can be a wealth of vendor leads, in a number of different ways. Search for real wedding or editorials that took place in your area and follow up with anyone whose work you love. Check to see if they have a vendor directory, usually a hand-picked selection of vendors that have been vetted in some way (ours is called the Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory). And don’t forget print and online advertisements – if you love a publication, chances are you’ll love the vendors that care enough to advertise with them.

There’s a common belief that vendors and venues charge more for the same services as soon as the word “wedding” is mentioned. Surprise! That’s probably true – but for good reason. A once-in-a-lifetime event like a wedding comes with an entirely different set of expectations, pressure, time spent planning, service, and creativity than your average cocktail or bridal party, and a higher price often reflects that. Though it can be hard to justify the expense on the front end of a wedding, talented vendors are worth every penny in the end!

I’d love to hear: how did you find your vendors? Who are your favorites?

emily Written with love by Emily
3 Comments
  1. avatar Joseph Requerme Photo reply

    Usually your suppliers will recommend someone that they trust, so, ask your supplier. Those points you have mentioned are really helpful.

  2. avatar Christine reply

    Yes to all of the above. Also, Instagram can be a great resource to find vendors. Follow beautiful wedding accounts and check to see who they tag. You can discover many wonderful vendors using that method! I found most of my wedding vendors via wedding magazines and trusted wedding websites and blogs (like this one!). I also turned to my wedding planners and their relationships for additional vendor intros. Honestly, the vendor finding process was so much fun!

  3. avatar Bri A reply

    These are such helpful tips because there are so many options out there! I especially love asking vendors that you have a rapport with, because working with someone brings a unique perspective!

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One of the more popular posts we’ve ever written is on tipping wedding vendors. (I wish it were something more exciting, but there you have it!) And I don’t blame y’all–there are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different times, that your head can start to spin long before you start separating cash out into envelopes.

Plus, when you’re already shelling out thousands of dollars per vendor, you might find yourself feeling, ahem, a little less than grateful at the thought of tipping on top of your final bill. Believe me, I completely understand! BUT, if you remember that tipping is never required, and should only be used to reward exemplary service, you might begin to feel a little differently.

With the help of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Chelsey Morrison from Gather Together Events (who has been sending our guide to her brides for years!), we updated our advice and even made a handy list with everything in one neat place.

Finally, remember that while cash or a gift is always appreciated (and can be given whenever you’d like, regardless of our guidelines below!), a grateful spirit on your wedding day; a genuine, thoughtful thank you note after your wedding; and personal referrals to family and friends are without a doubt the MOST valuable gifts you can give your treasured vendors.

Photo by Kristen Kilpatrick from our eighth issue

Wedding Planner
Should I tip? If your planner owns her own business, then no tip is expected, since it’s not customary to tip the owner of a business. However, if you would like to recognize exemplary performance, a personal gift or check is an option. If your planner has assistants on your wedding day (which most do), she will likely split the tip among them if she is the business owner.
How much? Up to $500, or 15% of her fee, or a nice gift
When? We recommend sending a thank you note and your check or gift after you return from your honeymoon.

Delivery and Set-up Staff
Should I tip? It’s a lovely gesture, especially if they were careful to set everything up to your specifications and without causing damage to the surroundings.
How much? $5 – $10 per person
When? Drop off envelopes with your catering manager or wedding planner if they’ll be accepting deliveries on your behalf. Sending after the event is okay, too.

Photo by KT Merry from our eighth issue

Wedding Photographer or Videographer (and other vendors like florists or cake bakers)
Should I tip? As most photographers and videographers own their own businesses, tipping is not expected or required in this case. If you are working with an associate photographer, a tip is customary. Either way, a personal gift is always a lovely touch.
How much? 15% of his fee, or a gift
When? After the honeymoon

Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist
Should I tip? Yes, this is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. However, the owning-their-own-business exception is still in effect, so keep that in mind.
How much? 15-25%, just as you would for a normal appointment
When? On the day of your wedding, after she’s finished getting you prettified

Photos by Whitney Neal from our eighth issue

Wedding Transportation
Should I tip? Check your contract, because a gratuity is usually included. If it’s not, then one is pretty much expected.
How much? 15-20% of the total bill if a service/gratuity charge is not included in your contract. If a gratuity is included and you’d still like to go above and beyond, a flat tip per driver of $5-10 per hour of service is commonplace.
When? When the driver picks you up or after the last ride

Wedding Ceremony Officiant
Should I tip? It isn’t necessary to tip religious officiants like a priest or minister (many of them, in fact, won’t accept cash tips). In lieu of a tip, a donation to their house of worship is a nice gesture. It’s not expected that you’ll tip a civil employee or non-religious officiant, either (and sometimes, in the case of civil employees, tipping can be illegal). For all officiants, a personal gift, such as a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, would certainly be appreciated.
How much? For an officiant associated with a house of worship, a donation of $100-500 is appropriate if there is no fee for the officiant, or $50-150 if you have already paid them a fee. If you’re working with an independent officiant, $50-150 is appropriate.
When? At the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner or after the ceremony

Photos by Katie Stoops from our eighth issue

Wedding Ceremony Musicians
Should I tip? This one’s definitely optional. If the string trio you hired has arranged or learned a particular song for you at no additional charge, then a tip might be a nice gesture.
How much? $20 – $50 per musician, or 15% of total fee
When? Before the musicians leave your ceremony site

Wedding Reception Band or DJ
Should I tip? It’s completely optional, but somewhat common. For bands that book their own gigs (i.e. separate from an entertainment agency), tipping is not customary.
How much? If you choose to tip, set aside $40-$100 per musician or $50-$200 for DJs
When? Before they leave the reception

Photo by Nancy Ray from our eighth issue

Wedding Reception Staff
Should I tip? Oh boy, this one’s the big guy. Yes, you should tip, but look to see whether a gratuity is not already included in your contract — it often is. (If gratuity is included, you’ll likely still want to make an additional flat fee tip on top of that – see below.)
How much? If a gratuity/service charge is not included, tip 15-20% of the cost of your total catering bill. If it is included, and you’d like to add an additional thank you, go with flat fee amounts: catering manager, banquet manager, headwaiter, or maitre d’: $50-$150; head chef: $50-$150; kitchen staff: $20-$50 each; bartenders: $20-$50 each; and servers: $20-50 each.
When? Before you leave the reception

Here’s an easy-to-pin version of our tipping cheat sheet:

A final tip from Chelsey, who says about 75% of her clients choose to tip beyond the expected vendors: “On your wedding day, the last thing you want to worry about it money changing hands. It is a GREAT idea to put any final payments and tips in individually labeled envelopes to be handed out by your planner the day of the event.

“If you want to wait until the end of the event to see which vendors went above and beyond, trust your planner to make the call – we’ve worked hand in hand with them all day and see what goes on behind the scenes. In that case, I have my clients provide an envelope of cash in different bills (and keep it on my person at all times during the day). If I see great service, I will hand out the tip amounts and write them on the envelope how much was handed out and to whom. I hand the envelope back to the father of the bride (or wedding host/financier) at the end of the night that shows the summary of what was handed out and any remaining cash.” Such a good idea, Chelsey!

Wishing you all exemplary service at your weddings that deserves copious tips! :)

Gather Together Events, Kristen Kilpatrick, Whitney Neal, and KT Merry are delightful members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

emily Written with love by Emily
6 Comments
  1. avatar Brianne Munz reply

    Bless you! This is exactly what I came on here looking for! :)

  2. avatar Edieth Smith reply

    Why is the florist never included when it is a full wedding and reception set up? We often go above and beyond what is expected.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Edieth! I should have made a note above originally (but have now!): florists would fall under the same category as photographers and videographers. I’m sure most clients would be happy to reward any vendor who goes above and beyond, whether through a personal thank you, a referral, a gift, a review, or a tip!

    • avatar Chelsey Morrison reply

      Hi Edieth! We do see florists tipped when they go above and beyond with a large installation. I would put this in a similar category to “delivery and setup staff.” Our florists are often doing large architectural pieces (like floral chandeliers) and deserve tips for the extra detail they put into these pieces!

  3. avatar Eleni Dona photography reply

    Totally agree with these tips!! As a professional wedding photographer, couples most of times are tipping my second shooter and my videographer

  4. avatar Bella Vita Montreal Wedding Photography reply

    I agree it should be common courtesy.

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Happy Engagement Celebration Week!

by in News on

I’M ENGAGED!!!! We can all agree that finally being able to share these words with the world is THE BEST! Right? Whether you’ve dated your fella for a few months or a few years (or more than a few) years, officially declaring your newly minted fiancé status to your loved ones and best friends is one of the best feelings in the word!

Since we’re smack in the middle of engagement season (it’s a real thing that happens every year from Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day—we promise), we’re declaring the next five days Engagement Celebration Week. Grab your best gals, your mama, and even your new fiancé (and the confetti) because we’ve got some cheers-ing to do!! We’ve planned fun celebrations all week long, giveaways every day (!!!) and we’re officially re-releasing our recently updated and extra-marvelous Joyful Wedding Planner.

To kick off our weeklong celebration, we want to hear from you! We want to hear the stories of your proposals (and see pictures) so get to posting and use the hashtag #JoyfullyEngaged so we can follow along. I’ve got my confetti and heart emojis-sending fingers ready, and I know the other Southern Weddings gals do, too.

As for the Planner, you might notice that in addition to some updates on the inside (pretty gold D-rings, updated info in every section, new downloads!), we’ve given our gal a fresh new name. There are a few reasons for this:

First, we wanted our Planner to more clearly communicate how we want you to FEEL while planning your wedding. I’ll be the first to admit that wedding planning can have its stressful moments (ahem, budgeting and guest list anyone?), but we believe it IS possible to have a joyful wedding planning experience, and that our Planner can help you have just that — by equipping you with both the practical and the pretty and reminding why we’re all doing this in the first place.

Second, while we will always be the Southern Weddings team and we have the biggest heart for our sweet Southern brides, we think the advice and encouragement in our Planner transcends geography, and we’d hate for a bride who’s hoping for a meaningful and joyful wedding to miss out on our info just because she doesn’t hail from beneath the Mason-Dixon Line!

Our whole team agrees that the Joyful Wedding Planner might be the best thing to ever come out of the Southern Weddings office. We have a burning passion for sharing really, truly GOOD information with y’all – the exact pieces of advice and same resources we’d give our sisters and best friends – and our Planner is the best way we know how to do that.

Whatever stage of engagement you’re in, celebrate as if you said ‘yes’ yesterday during this coming week! For the next five days, be all in!! Reminisce on the feelings you felt right after he asked, and soak up this fun week just for you. It’s time to celebrate!

xoxo,
Kristin and the Southern Weddings team

kristin Written with love by Kristin
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