Every spring, my mom and dad trot off like spring chickens into a thick field, big empty baskets in hand, to pick a sweet fruit that has become a part of our family.
Soon after, the house is filled with the divine smell of brewing Southern dewberries and friends and family are happily enjoying a delicious Mason-jar-housed treat on biscuits and toast. I’ll let mom tell you, though. She tells the story of the dewberry best…
As the days begin to warm from the chill of winter, small soft white flowers appear oddly out of place in their surroundings. Fragile circles of rose-like petals, tinged with pink, pop up among the craggy vines and brown grasses. Anchored low to the ground, the blossoms flutter gently in the breezes. The message is simple. Spring is not far away; the dewberries are blooming. But the message is also rich and vivid, interlaced with memories of wild dewberry patches of the past, the carefree abandon of childhood, and the traditions making cobbler and jam.
Growing up in the South, we picked dewberries every spring. The southern dewberry, Rubus trivialis, is a member of the rose family and a close relative of the blackberry. Abounding with tiny thorns, the low trailing vines intertwine and entangle themselves and everything that grows among them. As the flowers fade, the hard green berries begin to appear. Over the next month, they turn red and tart, finally swelling quickly as they ripen into a shiny deep black burgundy. Although commonly referred to as blackberries, dewberries usually ripen several weeks earlier in May, and are larger, juicier and sweeter. Eaten by birds that spread their seeds, they grow wild along the roadways, in fields and empty lots, almost anywhere. The naked berry is picked by rolling it slightly away from the stem, keeping it from being crushed and leaving the bud stem on the vine. You can count on having purple tattooed fingertips and the lingering sting of tiny thorns. A just picked dewberry, musty and sweet, and warm from the sun releases a burst of juice and a flood of memories.
When I pick the berries, I think of my dad. One of seven children and the son of an Alabama sharecropper, he delighted in the local gifts of nature – scuppernongs, huckleberries, mayhaws and dewberries. I can hear his voice warning me to watch out for snakes. “You know that the snakes wait for the birds that come to eat the berries.” Although I have never seen a snake in the berry patch, I still heed his advice. He taught me to carry a stick and make some noise in the vines – a prelude warning of our presence. We would move about slowly and cautiously, not only to avoid a surprise snake sighting, but quick movements in the low thorny vines could painfully ensnare an ankle. With itchy stained hands, bug bitten and sunburned, we quickly forgot these hazards as we proudly admired our baskets of shiny berries.
My mother’s cobbler in the oven filled the house with fragrant drafts of warm, sweet dewberries baking under a blanket of tender spoon crust. Another supper dessert would be fresh berries and whipped cream – simple, elegant, perfect. And of course, there was jam, lots of jam. Tricky to make with just the right consistency, not too thin and not too firm, the jam was allowed to thicken naturally. A mixture of ripe and under ripe red berries and an entire chopped lemon would provide the needed natural pectin. Sealed in hot glass jars, stacked and beautiful, the sweet dewberries would last throughout the year.
It is that comforting ritual of jam and cobbler making that I continue in my kitchen today. From the sightings of the first blooms, to the memories of past berry patches, the dewberry, gleaned with both fear and pleasure transforms me to the vestiges of my childhood. The vivid memories of the past blend with the present. As a child in the dewberry patch, I’m still there. I never left.
Our pantry eagerly awaits new jars of dewberry jam from mom every year. When Ari was deployed, the sweet little dewberry even made it’s way to Iraq in a care page or two! If Ari and I ever did a vow renewal, you can guess what would be a part of our celebration. There are dozens of empty Mason jars lining our cabinets now, all still ripe with memories of each season we enjoyed their contents. If you saw a Mason jar on my wedding tables, this story would go right along with them. There is a history that makes my heart sing! There is a “meaning behind the Mason”.
There is nothing I love more in a wedding than seeing an authentic love story come to life through every photograph – from the love in the couples’ eyes to the special details that reflect their unique path. No random pretties just because they are pretty. No details just for detail sake. Not to pick on the poor Mason jar, but we see them too often used as… here come my least favorite words… a wedding “trend” with no meaning. Southern brides, you know what I mean! Mason jars aren’t “vintage”, they are part of our history. Our aunts and grandmothers and great grandmothers spent long hours in the kitchen canning to preserve the harvest crop through winter. What a delightful history that little jar has! When a wedding is infused with history, tradition and special meaning behind those little touches, your love is center-stage. Magic happens on the big day! Your guests are transported, inspired and you become closer to your nearest and dearest through the celebration of your wedding. Your wedding tells your authentic love story and you create memories that you will never ever forget. [P.S. – if anyone knows where that lovely photo above is from, can you let me know? I would love to credit this beauty!]
So, what is your love story and how are you telling it in your special details? Perhaps it’s as simple as using the same flower variety that your mother had in her bouquet or having your maids in Carolina Blue for your alma mater where you and your sweetie spent your first years of courtship. Perhaps it’s a little photo locket tied to your bouquet with pics of those closest to your heart, cupcakes baked from your aunt’s favorite recipe, a favorite fabric you found on a romantic weekend trip to Savannah with your man (that special trip when he first said the three special words… I love you!) on your cake table or a special love quote on your programs that your grandmother always echoed. Perhaps it’s the simple Mason jar… the same jars that were once filled with the poetic and perfect dewberry that are now filled with daffodils from your mother’s garden. Whatever it is, tell your beautiful love story in the details. Have fun with it and you may even get to know something new about your fiance and families in the process! [photo above source]
GIVEAWAY: Sound off! Tell us about some of your special wedding details and the meaning behind them. One lucky commenter will win a beautiful Ring Bearer Bowl from Paloma’s Nest! This beautiful bowl is sure to become a family heirloom that you can pass to your kids one day, too!
P.S. Congrats to the last post’s Father of the Bride gushfest winner Courtney Christian. All of your comments made my heart melt… OK OK!… there were some tears shed, too! Email us your mailing address, Courtney, and we’ll get your prize right to you.
Love this post! My ‘heart explosions’ happened on the very first day I met my now-husband. He was a teacher’s assistant in my first college course. Don’t worry – he was a student too! Just an assistant for a scholarship. Well, he walked in the room that very first day and literally took my breath away! It was the weirdest feeling EVER. However, we didn’t start dating until that next semester – after the course ended. I never forgot that feeling and we married last fall. :) Thanks for letting me relive that moment!!! Happy 4th of July, y’all!!
I love this! When you know, you just know!
Oh my gosh!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE those sparklers! Too cute!
I knew he was the one on our first date…..we doubled with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend. We went to a fun local bar and and were hanging out, next thing I knew the bartender tapped me on the shoulder and said “We are closing up if y’all don’t want to spend the night, it is time to leave” What? Where did those 3 hours go….everyone had left the bar (including my friend) and there we were completely unaware of everything around us. As he was walking me to my car and gave my hand a squeeze, something inside me knew we would always be together. We were married 10 months later and have been madly in love for over 18 years….after all these years, he can look at me across a room and I still get butterflies in my stomach. I thank God for him every day!
I so know the feeling! Ari and I had the same thing happen on one of our first dates. Time flies when you are feeling those fireworks! Love it, Kelly.
Great post Lara….
Looking back, it’s hard to believe that the hubs and I have been married for 4 years. We met on a blind date courtesy of e-Harmony (yep!). Sitting next to him, hearing how he spoke, how his eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas when he talked about his grandfather, and the *gut feeling* I had for him – at that moment, I knew I was going to marry him. I had never had that feeling before with any other…and 6 months later we were engaged!
Heather, I love your story! I hear so many great e-Harmony matches. So wonderful!
It’s funny because the moment HE first knew was actually last year at the 4th of july… we were on my family’s boat watching fireworks and it was perfect… he even wrote me a poem about it (cheesy, i know!). the moment i first knew was way less romantic but just as special. he wrote me this letter that proved to me how empathetic he is and how he realized (very early on… I think we’d known each other 6 weeks at this point!) how much his words and actions affected me. he proved to me that he’d always be careful with my feelings.
Linden, I love this. I’m excited for you two to relive the fireworks this weekend!
When my now-fiance met my family!
The first time I ever felt fireworks for my fiance Corey was about a week after I met him. I asked to share head phones with him in the computer lab so I could listen to his music. He was playing “Italian Leather Sofa” by CAKE and I was quietly singing it to myself. He looked at me and said “You know CAKE and you know this SONG?!” And I said “Yes, of course, I grew up listening to CAKE.” And that was it. Indie music obsessed man and I fell in love.
My fiance and I are getting married in exactly one month today! To celebrate we’re headed to our town’s beach to watch the Canada Day Fireworks over the lake! My hearts been doubling over itself all day I’m so excited!
I knew my fiance was the one when he had my name tattooed across his chest…
JUST KIDDING, Y’ALL!
Really though…
I tore my tutu during the dress rehearsal the night before the opening performance of a production of Swan Lake I was in, and my fiance stayed up past midnight to help me fix my tutu. I didn’t even know he could sew, but I’ll never forget the way he smiled at me and said ” I can’t stand it when something makes you sad… and I’m just happy that this is something I CAN fix for you. Pass me the kit and stand still!”
I’ll love this man forever.
HAHA!!! Thanks for the good laugh, Jennifer! Your story wins bonus points. He fixed your tutu!? Amazing! Love it! And congrats on your upcoming wedding – YAY!!!!
Loving this post, just thinking back to all of the ‘fireworks’ we’ve shared over the years gives me butterflies! The first time I felt the sparks between my now husband and I was back in High School (8 years ago.. wow) we went to the beach on one of our first dates to check out the stars. Me, being the bad influence I was decided we should go past the locked gate and sit on the sand near the water. After about 20 minutes of kissing under the stars a policeman came shining his mag lite on us and yelled at us to leave. I kept my cool knowing we hadn’t done anything wrong and we’d simply be on our way. My now husband however, being the goody two shoes he was freaked out, ran to the cop to apologize. Needless to say this startled the police officer. All was fine, I just remember thinking back then how opposite we were and how much his cute innocence made me laugh, and still does! On the drive home we laughed over our evening and I told him I loved him. Neither of us has changed! :) Happy 4th everybody! God Bless America!
The first time I knew was way back when I was in high school after prom when he and a few others spent the night at my house. We weren’t dating at the time (my choice), but we managed to find some time away from the others spending the night and go sit out on my front porch swing. It was really late at night and slightly chilly outside. I’m stubborn as all get out, but I didn’t want to go in and I was cold. Since he didn’t have a jacket to offer me, he pulled me close and put his arm around me. We didn’t say much… just sat in the dark, looking up at the stars, but that’s when I knew. I didn’t know much about how it was going to work out, but I knew that if I were to marry it would be to him and that he would be the perfect one for me. It’s been 7 years since that night and now we are engaged. So much for not dating him!
We’ve had many sparks and fireworks over the last year and a half, but I’d say the most memorable was on our 2nd date. Bobby had just finished law school at University of Tennessee and on a beautiful summer night, he took me around campus and downtown Knoxville. As we were walking past Market Square and through a small park and gardens, he led me to the old courthouse and explained to me its history and significance. We held eachother’s gaze for what seemed like forever and he leaned down and gave me the most powerful and electric kiss of my life! I have never been one for PDA, but I just couldn’t pull away! We still talk about that kiss and how that’s when we knew we had something very special.
Lori: I forgot to mention that while we were kissing, a car full of college guys drove past and hooped and hollered at us. Haha. Memories.
It’s so crazy to look back and realize that fireworks happened the moment that we met. We met at a bar in the most lucky of coincidences in terms of time and place. He had just started living in the area and his sister had invited him out to happy hour. One of his sister’s friends had also invited me out. I walked in and sat next to him and so started our story. If for some reason either of us had not gone that night, it was pretty likely that we would have never met and our lives would never have changed. It was the weirdest feeling that we connected so well so quickly. Everyone else there tells me it was so obvious that we were in our own world at that point. Of course we’ve had other fireworks since then, including the surprise proposal! But I will never forget that feeling of the first time. :)
After my boyfriend and I had spent 2 moths apart doing mission work during our first year of dating, seeing him walk up the stairs in the airport made my heart EXPLODE! I was in the Dominican Republic, and he was in Jordan. The Lord’s will was our focus and we knew we’d make it through. After serving for so long, our hearts rejoiced together.
Being a Florida girl, born and raised…. the 4th of July is my favorite holiday (other than Christmas of course!) Fireworks are my absolute favorite and I am so excited to spend this 4th with my sweetie and his family down in the Keys… although I am gonna miss my family out at the lake! When my honey and I first started hanging out, I was very unsure of the whole thing, I knew I liked him, he was just so different than I had remembered him from high school 5 (now 6) years ago. Our first few dates were spent on the beach, swimming at sunset, wishing on stars, sharing life ambitions, and maybe even stealing a kiss or two. ;-) I had surgery on my foot 3 days after we started hanging out (we hung out every night) and he came to see me and take care of me right away. Met my parents right away and got along with them right away. But something inside me was still unsure. And then, when I told him of my insecurities, I felt those fireworks when he gave me his response. He told me, ” If I am not the last guy you date, I hope that I at least set the bar very high for anyone else who might come into your life.” And I melted and realized I didn’t want anyone else to come into my life. We have made it through almost a year of long distance, and now I get to move back to be closer to him tomorrow!!!! Yay!
AshleyHH: If she doesn’t win, then she better have set the standard! Haha! Love that! Happy moving! No, I don’t know this girl.
My guy does “explosion stuff” all the time…..over the last year for a period of a least 6 months there he was bringing me fresh flowers at least once a week (and I am such a sucker for flowers!!). He loves me so much I can just look into his eyes and see it and THAT is what gives me the explosions!! Although, the flowers are nice too:)
And I am ready for my firework exit at the wedding!!! These would be great!!
I knew he was “the one” after dating for in high school for two years, I moved two hours south for college. He drove over 500 miles in one weekend because I was all alone my new apartment! It was something he did not have to do by any means but it meant the world to me. Three years later, we are getting married :)
I am so excited about the Ring Bearer Bowl! Thank you!
Right from the beggining he was different. At first I didnt know that was a good thing. I was at a point in my life when for the first time, I wanted nothing to do with any “boyfriend”. I met Todd on his birthday. He was coming on WAY too strong. From that night on he did not give up. I pushed him away, and he pushed right back. He knew something I did not. I am so grateful that he did not give up on me, that he sucked up the humiliation of repeated rejection. One night I was alone and he crossed my mind, over and over, the pressure built until I finally let all my pride and emotion go. In one brilliant exlosion of love I realized he was the one. He didnt give up on me. We were together that night and have been ever since. I love my man for who he is and the lesson he taught me.
The first time I experienced fireworks with my fiance Adam, was a little unconventional as I was with another beau at the time, but you just can’t stop love I guess! There was a large group of us all on a camping trip at a lake in North Carolina. I had only met Adam a few times and didn’t know him all too well, but as I got to know him that day I realized what a great person he was. Well that night we all went down onto the beach at our camp site. There was the most amazing meteor shower I have ever seen! Thousands of shooting stars fell across the sky as I stood next to Adam. Of course being the romantic I am I made a wish to find that one person I was meant for, as I have always wished since I was a little girl. And all of a sudden watching those falling stars I just knew it was him. Talk about fireworks! Love is blind and unexpected that way I guess! I will always thank my lucky stars I found him
The moment I knew my man was the one for me was while we weren’t even together or dating! We dated in college, but went separate ways to pursue careers and further education. Long story short, I got a phone call one Memorial Day weekend that he had broken his neck and could possibly be paralyzed. Upon hearing that news and thinking that I could have lost him forever, the heartbreak and feelings that immediately sprung inside of me were so strong that I knew I had more love for him than I ever realized was possible. We gave love a second chance and we are getting married next June!
The moment I knew was when we saw each other for the first time across a room. It was a true Tony and Maria moment from “West Side Story” when they see each other across the room and everyone else in the room fades away. My New Yorker husband was working at a hospital in my home state of Oklahoma and visited my home church. We were married last month at that same church, Northside Southern Baptist Church. In keeping with true Southern tradition, it is where my parents were married in 1972 and my maternal grandparents began their married life together in 1948. To top it all off, he proposed last 4th of July and we are returning this 4th to the place he proposed: his family’s beach house on Long Beach Island, NJ.
My “Heart Explosions” are all the time my fiance goes above and beyond the call of duty just because he loves me so, so much. One of many examples is this past week. I was gone on a mission trip with the church I work for and he was a hero, getting things done for the wedding, trying to help arrange for my mom to visit me so I can finally pick out a wedding dress, and to top it all of cooking dinner for me on the evening I got back. He does so much to make my life easier and better. I love him so much and appreciate all the love he showers me with each and every day!
the heart sparklers would make a beautiful lit-up addition to a bright wedding that we’re trying to have!
Part of me knew as soon as I met him that he was the one. But that was about 10 months before this moment. Jeff and I met at the dog park but started dating via facebook. I was working for the summer at a law firm in Florida and he was back in North Carolina when we started dating. I was driving the 2.5 hours to Seaside Beach, FL to spend a weekend with a dear friend and her family (now my maid of honor and her daughter is my flower girl.) I talked to Jeff the entire way there but didn’t want to be rude so we hung up once I arrived. I was sitting on the porch of this beautiful beachfront house telling my friend all about Jeff. During this time he sent me a text message saying something about what he was doing that day. Immediately following I got a picture message from him with a picture of fireworks and text that said “and this is how you make me feel :)” I immediately showed my friend and we both got tears in our eyes. I knew he was the one for me at that moment.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later that we shared our first hug, first kiss and first date. Its proof that you can know before anything physical takes place. It was an emotional connection that I don’t share with anyone but him.
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