A few weeks back we received a note from one of you sweet readers. She wrote:
“My fiancé recently lost his father (and I lost my wonderful father-in-law-to-be). I am trying to think of the best way to honor him during our wedding ceremony this September. I would love to hear y’alls’ ideas, as well as your reader’s ideas. Thanks so much!”
Of course! We love helping our readers out whenever we can. The community surrounding a couple is so important throughout their life, but especially when planning a wedding, and finding meaningful ways to honor and remember friends and family members is often an important part of wedding planning.
My family is actually very small (not to fret, I married into a very large, very Southern, and very amazing one), and both of my maternal grandparents have passed away. When I married my sweet husband, I wore the pearls that my grandmother had worn on her wedding day over 50 years before. When my sister got married this past year, she chose to honor our grandfather by having his photo placed in a small frame, and pinned to her bouquet.
My handsome grandfather. Image credit: Sara Kauss.
The ceremony is a great place to honor loved ones who have passed away, because it’s naturally a more solemn and sacred part of the day.
Some couples choose to light candles in memoriam. Others choose to place a single rose (or their favorite flower) on the pew where they would have been seated. We thought it was so sweet when recent bride Suzanne included a single white rose in her orange tulip bouquet to honor her father, who had passed away.
Photo by Lisa Poggi
We also like the idea of choosing a special reading or singing a particular hymn that was a favorite of his. These are great options especially if you’re worried about the overall tone of the ceremony being sad, because only the people who it matters to will realize the true significance of the detail.
Along those same lines, we also like the idea of using a scrap of a favorite jacket or piece of clothing for the ring bearer pillow, a handkerchief, or the groom’s pocket square. If you have a larger amount of fabric to work with, you can have a custom tie made through a company like Tie Crafters. Or, simply have the groom wear one of his father’s favorite accessories, like a tie or cuff links.
Madras bow tie photo by Gabe Aceves (see more here!)
However you choose to honor their memory, we think the goal is to make the addition a positive and loving part of the ceremony.
Readers, do you have any additional ideas of how to remember a loved one during your wedding? We’d love to hear in the comments below.