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By far one of the most popular and memorable details at my wedding was the lounge spaces we set up in our reception tent. Yes, people remember the ceremony and the music, but what people bring up most two years later is how much fun they had catching up with friends and family on comfy couches in a beautiful space (with the ability to pop back and forth to the dance floor!). It’s a great example of what’s true about weddings: people may not remember what you said or what you fed them, but they will remember how you made them feel. A feeling of inclusion and hospitality is a major wedding do, and a reception lounge can be a big step toward that!

Photo by Abby Jiu via Elizabeth Anne Designs

While lounges can be set up in many locations, we happen to think that Sperry Tents make the absolute perfect back-drop. And we’re not alone! In one of my earliest conversations with our florist (who had a Sperry Tent for her own wedding), she said, you know, the nice thing about a Sperry is that they are so beautiful, and create such an experience on their own, that you don’t really need much in the way of extra decor. Not needing the smaller details frees your budget up to include more substantial details, like a lounge space!

Photo by Orchard Cove Photography

As you can see, Sperry Tents are a classic, neutral backdrop that works with every aesthetic and location, from a field to a beach to a manicured backyard. The tents are handcrafted by sailmakers in coastal Massachusetts and are made from genuine sailcloth, and the wooden support poles are hand-milled at a historic 1930s sawmill. All of their design decisions prioritize craftsmanship – you can really feel the love that went into each one when you’re standing inside!

Photo by Docuvitae via Style Me Pretty

In case you’re wondering, in my experience, Sperry Tents are more expensive than a standard frame tent (though obviously with good reason). If you start to add anything to the tent like a liner, draping or pole covers, however, the price will usually exceed a Sperry!

Photos by Leila Brewster Photography

A few tips for those of you thinking of adding a lounge space to your wedding reception:

Search out rental options. Vintage rental companies are popping up left and right (we have several stellar options in the Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!) and traditional rental companies are adding more lounge options as their popularity grows. There are options to fit every aesthetic, from shabby chic to ultra modern.
Plan carefully if using your own pieces. For my wedding, we decided it was more cost-effective to purchase pieces to supplement our rental couches rather than buying everything. We bought several Ikea Lack tables and white ottomans and then were able to either sell them after the wedding (on Craigslist!) or give them away. If you go this route, however, make sure that you have the vehicle necessary to transport your items to your venue, and that someone is assigned to pick them up post-wedding!
Make a diagram. I don’t know about y’all, but spatial issues are not my forte, and when faced with trying to figure out how to fit our couches and our tables and our bar AND our dance floor in our tent, I was baffled. Enter: Sperry’s AMAZING space planning tool. After selecting your tent size and shape on their website, you can add and play around with a ton of different decor options to come up with the perfect arrangement, including lots of different lounge configurations! SO helpful.

Photo by Tanja Lippert from Southern Weddings

Interested? Sperry Tents are only available through a network of licensed providers and are available for rent throughout the South. You can find out much more on their website here!

Photo by Jen Fariello via Southern Weddings

This post is brought to you by Sperry Tents–thanks for your support of the brands that make Southern Weddings possible!

emily Written with love by Emily
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Last week we tackled one of the trickiest (and most common) wedding planning questions when we asked “how much does a wedding cost?” This week, we’re moving on to the next logical step: who ponies up the money? :) Read on for our thoughts on who pays what in the wedding!

See more from this engagement session by Elle Danielle on Facebook Friday!

According to Emily Post, “The days when the bride’s parents were expected to bear all the expenses of the wedding and reception are over. It’s now more common for engaged couples, especially those who are established wage earners, to pay all or most of the costs or at least to share some of the expense with their parents. The groom’s family may also make a substantial contribution.”

We tend to agree, as does the data! From a survey of 16,000 couples married in 2014, Splendid Insights found that 80% of respondents contributed to their wedding. 62% had parents who contributed to the wedding, and 35% had a partner whose parents contributed.

This pattern of a community coming together to pay for the wedding seems to hold true in the Southern Weddings office, as well. Marissa and Lisa reported to me that they, their parents, and their husbands’ parents all contributed or are contributing to their wedding budgets. Same goes for my household, except my grandmother was added into the mix, too! For all of us, the money all seemed to go into one pot, though the tradition of the groom’s parents paying for the rehearsal dinner seems to have some staying power.

Of course, while you might hope your parents will contribute, unless they make the first move, you still need to ask them! We’d recommend going into the conversation with a grateful heart and without expectations, being thankful for any contribution they’re willing and able to make. I’d also recommend taking the lead with your parents, and letting your fiance do the same with his.

Not all parents are willing or able to contribute financially, but they (or other friends!) might be pleased as punch to contribute in other ways on or before the wedding day: sewing napkins, stuffing envelopes, assembling favors, playing music, setting up your reception space, scouting vintage china, lending centerpiece vessels, addressing invitations, brewing beer, or baking desserts are all places to start! Graciously take people up on their kind offers whenever possible – not only will it help cut down on costs, but it can give your wedding a beautiful sense of community. In our experience, loved ones love being asked to play a role in the big day!

Finally, don’t despair if you’re financing your celebration on your own. Start saving as early as you can (just $5 a day over one year adds up to $1800!), and prioritize the parts of the wedding that matter most to you. And when all as fails, keep in mind that the quickest (though not the least painful) way to cut your overall budget is to lower your guest count.

Friends, I’d love to hear: who is paying for your wedding? You and your fiance? Some combination of your parents? Let us know in the comments!

P.S. More of our best budgeting advice.

We’ll be sharing a quick and simple piece of wedding planning advice based on our most frequently asked questions once a week! Feel free to email us with your own question, or pick up a copy of the Southern Weddings Planner for all of our best resources in one place!

emily Written with love by Emily
5 Comments
  1. avatar Anna reply

    My husband and I were so grateful that both of our parents were able to help contribute some to our wedding. After sitting down to talk with them and learn what they were gifting us, we supplemented the rest of our budget with our own savings. It was so important for us to do this before we started planning to have realistic expectations of what we would be able to afford for our big day!

  2. avatar Jen reply

    My parents decided on a set budget, and anything over that my fiancé and I will cover ourselves. It works out because we are blessed with funds to cover all of the basics, but we have the option to add a few more things if we’d like!

  3. avatar Stacy {Woodsy Weddings} reply

    I love the idea of a self-sufficient couple paying for their own celebration. With that said, I think graciously accepting any gift to help with your day is wonderful, too. It doesn’t take a huge budget to make a dream day!

  4. avatar Abby reply

    My parents wanted to go a very traditional route and paid for our wedding. They gave me a budget to stick to and we were able to plan the wedding we all wanted within that. I think my fiancee’s parents would have been happy to contribute but my parents actually refused. They have 4 sons and I am their only child so I think in their minds at the end of the day they were probably all spending the same on weddings in our lifetime. It was such a blessing to have that financial support, we would not have had the same wedding if it were left to us to pay for on our own and is giving us the ability to put our money towards a house in the future.

  5. avatar Samantha reply

    Help!

    Our 27 year old daughter met a 61 year old man 2 months ago and is now engaged planning a wedding!

    This is her first marriage and his 4th.

    She wants to sit down and talk about the wedding.

    What can her father and I expect to have to pay for?

    It just seems to me that the advanced age of her fiance’ would say that he should be paying for this wedding!

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

    Sincerely,
    Mom and Dad

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Of course, when you get engaged, one of the first questions you’ll ask yourself is, how much does a wedding cost? While there is an answer to that (and we’ll get to it in a minute!), at Southern Weddings, we believe the better question is how much am I able (and do I want) to spend on my wedding? Or in other words, what is the budget for my wedding?

See more from this engagement session by Sweet Julep Photography on our Facebook page!

When it comes down to it, you CAN have a wedding on any budget. $50? Yep! $5,000? Yep! $500,000? Yep! However, you cannot have any wedding on any budget, meaning you can’t take every single idea you love and squeeze them all into any arbitrary number that suits your fancy. The better place to start is with the money you actually have to spend, and knowing a few averages and benchmarks might help you spend it more wisely.

Here is the industry breakdown of a wedding budget, according to The Knot:
Reception: 48%-50%
Ceremony: 2%-3%
Attire: 8%-10%
Flowers: 8%-10%
Entertainment or Music: 8%-10%
Photography and Videography: 10%-12%
Stationery: 2%-3%
Wedding Rings: 2%-3%
Parking/Transportation: 2%-3%
Gifts: 2%-3%
Miscellaneous: 8%

I shared the percentage breakdown for my wedding here, if you’d like a real life example! Snippet & Ink also shares several real couples’ budgets on her site.

Still wondering how much other folks spend on their weddings? According to a 2012 study of 17,500 couples, the average wedding budget in the United States was $28,427. Based on the interview we ask our couples, I would say about 50% of the weddings featured on Southern Weddings have budgets between $25,000-$50,000; 20% have budgets between $10,000-$25,000; and 10% have budgets of under $10,000, $50,000-$75,000, and over $75,000, respectively. This neat graph gives you a breakdown state-by-state for some of the biggest chunks of the wedding budget.

In the end, though it can be helpful to know percentages and averages, what really matters in spending your budget is what’s most important to you and your fiance. Brainstorm together, then spend the money to knock the things that matter most to you out of the park. We promise, you won’t miss the rest!

We’ll be sharing a quick and simple piece of wedding planning advice based on our most frequently asked questions once a week! Feel free to email us with your own question, or pick up a copy of the Southern Weddings Planner for all of our best resources in one place!

emily Written with love by Emily
4 Comments
  1. avatar Robin reply

    Like the graph shows, I think it’s important to remember that prices are drastically different from state to state, so what it costs be could a lot more or less than the national average. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that a (very nice) friend’s wedding in my area only cost $17-18k. I think it would have easily been a $25-30k wedding in a slightly more expensive area. Gives me hope for $10-12k budget!

    • avatar Emily reply

      I completely agree, Robin! Thankfully Southern brides don’t have to deal with quite as high prices as the average NYC bride :)

  2. avatar Tamara reply

    Thank you for those interesting numbers. Always interesting to see how other people use their wedding budget.

  3. avatar Classic Wedding Invitations reply

    Interesting statistics!

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