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Southern Weddings

Author: Emily

Welcome back to another installment of Southern Etiquette!  We’re going to do something a little bit different today.  Instead of puzzling over an etiquette conundrum, I have a potential ceremony reading to share with you!  I stumbled upon it over on Weddingbee, and instantly fell in love.  Obviously I’m enamored because it’s an excerpt from Miss Manners by Judith Martin, but I also think, as Miss Knitting pointed out, that it’s a great choice for those couples who might not be “gushingly romantic” or religious.  Here it is:

“While exclusionary interest in one other human being, which is what we call courtship, is all very exciting in the stages of discovery, there is not enough substance in it for a lifetime, no matter how fascinating the people or passionate the romance.  The world, on the other hand, is chock full of interesting and curious things.  The point of the courtship – marriage – is to secure someone with whom you wish to go hand in hand through this source of entertainment, each making discoveries, and then sharing some and merely reporting others.  Anyone who tries to compete with the entire world, demanding to be someone’s sole source of interest and attention, is asking to be classified as a bore. ‘Why don’t you ever want to talk to me?’ will probably never start a satisfactory marital conversation.  ‘Guess what?’ will probably never fail.”

What do you think?  Would you consider an excerpt from an etiquette book for a ceremony reading?  What’s the most unusual reading you’ve heard someone use?

All header images c/o Millie Holloman

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Jessie reply

    Actually, I love that. I think it's appropriate and very much what a marriage today is about. We want to be with people who we can grow and learn and flat have fun with. I'm saving this in my "when I get married" file!

  2. avatar emily hansel reply

    I like that reading – the tone and the message- a lot, but maybe as something the officiant would say as part of their message. Something about the "why don't you ever want to talk to me?" line seems out of place for a reading someone else would get up and say. but as someone who loves etiquette books, i'd absolutely include something from one if we loved it. i mean, we had a tom robbins reading, so i say to each his/her own, as long as it works for everyone involved! (since some churches/officiants have guidelines, i think it is up to more than just the couple.)

  3. avatar Jesse reply

    My favorite non-gushy ceremony reading is the following, from Captain Corelli's Mandolin:Love is a temporary madness,it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.And when it subsides you have to make a decision.You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined togetherthat it is inconceivable that you should ever part.Because this is what love is.Love is not breathlessness,it is not excitement,it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,they find that they are one tree and not two.

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As most of you know, Katharine is getting married on Saturday!  Whee!!  In honor of her and Kyle’s big day, we thought we’d declare this week “Classic Wedding Week” on SW.  Seeing how much Katharine loves a traditional, black and white wedding (and, in fact, has planned one for herself!), we figured it was only appropriate to outfit the blog in her preferred style in the run-up to Saturday.

To start us off right, we have Ashley + Dusty.  Ashley’s gorgeous dress is by Romona Keveza (one of my very, very favorite designers) from Solutions Bridal, and her floaty veil (which I love!) is by Sweet Elegance. The couple celebrated at Highlands Ridge in Florida, Hobby Hill Florist took care of the arrangements, and Sprinkles delivered the wedding cake.  Last but certainly not least, the delicate bridesmaids’ dresses are by Belsoie from Olga’s Bridal and Boutique.

Besides its traditional style, what initially attracted me to this wedding was the subtle aviation details — the paper airplane toss exit, the adorable wish card that read “Love is… knowing you’ll never fly alone!”  Completely appropriate, of course, since both the bride and groom are pilots!  I also fell hard for the last photo in this post, of Ashley + Dusty’s vintage-outfitted 1937 Packard, which Ashley’s father refurbished for the couple as a wedding day surprise.  Big thanks to photographer Sarah Bray for sending this wedding our way.  Stay tuned for another classic tomorrow!

See all the photos from Ashley + Dusty’s wedding in their Real Wedding Gallery!

How did the two of you meet?  Tell us your story.  Initially, we met our senior year of high school, at the airport. We both attended the same college, but didn’t actually get together until later. When Dusty started airline training in Atlanta, he was partnered with one of my best friends. I came to visit from Memphis, and after a great weekend of everyone hanging out, ended up missing my flight home because of weather, but absolutely had to be back for work. Dusty drove me to find a rental car at two in the morning and then hand wrote directions from Atlanta to Memphis. He left his number at the bottom so I could call if case I got lost. I made it home safely, and after work called to say thank you since he had gone so far out of his way for me even though we didn’t know each other very well. After talking on the phone for a couple weeks, he made a trip to visit and the rest was history. 
Three adjectives that describe the day are: Beautiful, vintage and playful.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: My father surprised me with a 1937 Packard that he had refurbished just for my wedding day!
Tell us about finding your wedding dress: We had grand plans of going to Kleinfields in New York just before Christmas, but since I had no idea what I wanted, we decided to stop and look in Florida, never expecting to find anything. The first stop was Solutions Bridal in Orlando.  After trying on about 20 dresses, it was clearly down to 2.  One was very traditional and the other was not. We stopped at another store, but I had no interest in trying anything else on. I had already found my dress. On my way back to the airport, we stopped back by Solutions, this time with Daddy and Grandma in tow, and bought my dress
Describe your wedding cake: My grandparents used a wedding bell on their cake, and it has been used for every wedding in the family since. Our cake was vanilla with different fillings for each tier: custard, strawberry cream, lemon, cherry cheesecake and chocolate. Dusty’s groom’s cake was in the shape of his R/C airplane controller, and was chocolate with peanut butter filling.

What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? Having our wedding in a small town was a challenge, especially when it came to finding a venue and vendors.  At one point, I felt like Sweet Home Alabama with all the trailers were rolling in because everything was from out of town, except the flowers.
What’s next for you as a couple?  What are you looking forward to in the future?  Getting settled into married life, lots of traveling and, in a few years, starting a family.

Congratulations, Ashley + Dusty!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Lara reply

    YAY! I'm so excited about this weekend!

  2. avatar Dennis @ Wholesale Flowers reply

    The 1937 Packard was definitely a nice touch to a vintage wedding. Congratulations to both of you.

  3. avatar lois reply

    The Packard…OMG ANd the photo of the packard driving down the road is so wonderful. I loved looking at your photos. I am such a HUGE sucker for romance and wedding days are just about as good s it gets. I will never be "mother of the bride" the kid simply refuses to wear a dress, even when I lock him in the basment. So I will have to make do with vicarious pleasures, Making wedding accessories is one way to get that pleasure. I love hanging around with all the beautiful brides.

  4. avatar Nate Henderson reply

    What gorgeous images; so classic and elegant. Blue paper airplanes? Pretty awesome if you ask me!

  5. avatar Hunter Valley Wedding Venues reply

    Those paper aeroplanes are great – SO unique!

  6. avatar Briana reply

    Oh my gosh! This is in my county. I just got engaged and will be visiting Highlands Ridge as a possible venue. I completely understand the bride’s challenge with planning a wedding in a small town. Clearly, she was successful!

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This wedding is special for many reasons.  First, it took place at Claxton Farm, a beautiful, beautiful venue in Weaverville, NC that burned down last November.  Impressively, the amazing staff succeeded in rebuilding the barn in time for their summer brides to enjoy it.  Second, this is Mr. and Mrs. Snow’s wedding!  For all of you who are familiar with my slight Weddingbee obsession, you know that this is very exciting for me.  Third, it’s the perfect blue + red wedding to lead us into the Fourth of July weekend!  Mary + Greg asked Oh, Darling! Photography to document their day, and I must say, that was an excellent decision.  Aria Floral provided the beautiful blooms — don’t miss the bouquet tile from SW fave Paloma’s Nest!  More DIY goodness coming your way in part two!

How did the two of you meet?  Tell us your story.  We met eight years ago on a punk rock community website.  We chatted online, met in person over university spring break and hung out as friends off and on for several months.  We finally started dating in June of 2002 after attending a Piebald concert where Greg interviewed the band for his zine. The rest is history. We usually just tell people we met at a punk rock show!
Describe your Proposal: 
Greg’s proposal was very unique. We knew we would get married since the first summer of punk rock love in 2002, but several significant life events pushed us off the wedding path. In addition to a cross-country move from our beloved North Carolina to blustery Wisconsin for graduate school, Greg battled cancer twice in five years.  (We’re cautiously optimistic we’ll continue to see our favorite words, “All clear,” from here on out).  Needless to say, it felt like tempting fate to plan something so joyous in the face of such difficult times.  Still, on our anniversary, 7 years into a great relationship, we had an amazing discussion about moving our relationship forward and finally making the scary but exciting decision to get married!  We researched and chose the ring together, and I asked for no surprises with its delivery.  We’d had enough surprises in the past four years!  When it arrived a week later, I signed for it and waited patiently until Greg arrived home from work to open it.  After we called our families, we celebrated with friends at a Decemberists concert – our musical courtship come full circle – and found ourselves laughing hysterically at the irony of our first post-engagement date being chock full of songs about love-gone-wrong. Strangely enough, it was a perfect proposal for us.
Three adjectives that describe the day are:
From Greg: Appropriate, specific and relevant.
From Mary: Creative, local and love-filled.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: The cohesiveness. Our planning was somewhat fractured due to distance, and we were nervous about our ideas and projects working cohesively when finally put together at our venue, which we’d only seen once, by the way!  Seeing the paper goods, fabric, attire, food and décor come together on the wedding day proved very emotional and rewarding for us.
What was Southern about your wedding?  What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? From the local bluegrass band to the favors containing Cheerwine, Moon Pies, and Texas Pete, our wedding was an homage to our Southern heritage. Being recent transplants to the Midwest, we missed our home state of North Carolina a great deal. Our wedding was a chance to celebrate the cuisine, arts and traditions of the South with our guests who had traveled from fourteen different states.
Tell us about finding your wedding dress: As a bride on a budget, I decided to explore alternative bridal options. While visiting Charlotte over the holidays, my mom and I scheduled an appointment at Bella Bridesmaids – they’re phenomenal, by the way.  The shop had a “bridal alternative” version of Lula Kate’s Christy dress in the shop for another potential bride.  I tried it on, and everyone in the shop agreed that it was perfect.  We added a perfect pale pink sash, and the look was complete. I adored my dress!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar WeddingXpert reply

    I’m such a sucker for simplicity! I’m loving that this couple realized the landscape was so beautiful, it didn’t need a lot of frou-frou. Just some pretty parasols :) Can’t wait to see part II!

  2. avatar Becks reply

    So pretty! I’ve been to a rehearsal dinner at Claxton Farm and it is breathtaking.

  3. avatar Mrs. R reply

    Love the dress!! So beautiful and one of a kind!

  4. avatar Ali @ His Birdie’s Nest reply

    What a gorgeous wedding! I love Mary’s dress and the seersucker suits! PERFECTION!

  5. avatar ms. awesome reply

    AUGH! So absolutely freakin’ amazing and beautiful and fantastically perfect. LOVES!

  6. avatar Brandi reply

    Ahh! Mrs. Snow! Her wedding looks beautiful!

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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