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Happy Monday, friends! I can’t think of anything better to start the week with than an etiquette query… but maybe that’s just me :) Regardless, I hope you’ll offer Molly your own two cents, especially if you’ve dealt with a similar situation!

Hi, Emily!

I have an etiquette question. My wedding was originally scheduled for the weekend of June 15, but due to several overlapping family issues, my fiance and I decided to postpone. We are all now in a much better place, and have rescheduled our wedding for September 8. Unfortunately, my original matron of honor, who lives overseas, will be extremely pregnant on our new date and will not be able to attend.

I’m planning to have her Skype in to the wedding, but I now don’t have a matron of honor — or at least one who will be present. Can I ask my girlfriend who is “next in line” to assume that role? And can I ask another friend to be a part of the bridal party now? Please help me on what the etiquette would be in this strange situation!

Thank you!
Molly

Eric Kelley via Southern Weddings

First, I have to say I’m so glad that things are going more smoothly for Molly and her family these days! Postponing or rescheduling a wedding is NOT fun, but I think it’s a much better course of action than going forward with something that doesn’t feel right, for whatever reason. Also, September is a great time to get married :)

As with most etiquette questions, I think the best answer depends on your circumstances. For your first question — can you ask the girlfriend who’s next in line to be your matron of honor — I would say yes IF 1) you don’t think it would hurt the original (pregnant) matron of honor’s feelings, and 2) you don’t think the “next in line” friend would be insulted to be asked. (I know that seems weird, since you’d be asking her something nice, but some people might be annoyed knowing they were the “second choice”!)

Your second question is easier, I think: absolutely! It’s totally up to you to add or subtract anyone from the bridal party at any time, so I think whether or not you ask another friend to be a part of your party as something separate from the issue of your original matron of honor dropping out.

Has anyone else had to reschedule, postpone, or substantially change their wedding, maybe because of an illness, deployment, or serious business crisis? I would love to hear, and especially would love to hear any advice y’all might have to offer! Maybe the way you spread the news to guests?

emily Written with love by Emily
11 Comments
  1. avatar Hannah From reply

    My husband and I were originally supposed to get married on July 5th of this year. A couple of days after I mailed out our Save The Dates, he calls me from Japan (where he is stationed) and said that he will be deployed during our wedding day and that we had to change it. That next weekend I came home from school and my sisters, my mother, and I made “change the date” cards – they matched our original colors and design, but were on a post card type of paper. We were able to change the date and got married a month earlier than planned, only losing one vendor in the process. It actually ended up working out better for everyone involved in the wedding (a couple of our groomsmen were military as well).

  2. avatar All in a Soiree reply

    I personally don’t know anyone who has had to reschedule there wedding, but in my personal opinion I think simply being honest and just letting them know things changed unexpectedly

  3. avatar Brittany Mayer reply

    My wonderful fiance officially proposed New Years Eve 2010. We had been together for about a year and a half. But the enitre time we were together we were in a long distance relationship, he was in D.C. and I was in N.C. in Winston-Salem. it was pretty hard but even with the 6 hour distance between us we still saw each other almost every other weekend! When we got engaged I wanted us living in the same city before we got married. Well, we started planning and had set the date and put down a few deposits, venue, photographer etc. and we realized that even thought he had come to live with me in my home town of Louisville Ky, we weren’t ready yet. I wanted to find a different career than what I studied in college and the job he had gotten in town wasn’t working out, so he went back to his job that took him away from me. It was a really difficult time, not only were we going back to a long distance relationship, but we were loosing our dream wedding. For me it felt really embaressing to have to tell everyone that we were postponing the wedding. I feared that everyone would think our marriage wasnt meant to be, but for the most part everyone was very understanding. We are so blessed that as of Christmas this past year we have both found jobs in the same city, and we have officially set a new date of May 10, 2014. I’m plumb tickled to death! It’s been a long wait, but it’s been worth it. And I have a few years of looking at SWMag under my belt now so its gonna be a great southern shindig!

  4. avatar Gracie reply

    My fiancé and I recently had to reschedule our wedding due to conflicts with school, work etc. Unfortunately it was AFTER we had sent out the save the dates (talk about embarrassing). After much deliberation and tears (on my part). We sent out cute little cards to all our guests that began with “don’t dust off those dancing shoes just yet!” And a little explanation of our postponement. It was so well received! Everyone mentioned how much they appreciated us being up front with them instead of trying to dance around the subject.
    As for the wedding itself, changing plans from a May wedding to a December wedding was no easy task! But after looking through all the plans I had set fort vintage garden party wedding, I realized that the vintage theme was something that fits for any season! Our florist was so helpful in picking out beautiful seasonal flowers that very much resembled my spring bouquet and center pieces. The bridesmaids unfortunately did have to buy a second dress, but the JCrew wedding shop was so helpful and I was able to find adorable dresses for $70 each (unheard of!).
    The moral of the story: don’t panick! It can be something that builds the excitement for your big day and helps you and your fiancé learn to prioritize (always a good skill for marriage). And what girl doesn’t love a little more time to plan her big day?!

  5. avatar Laura torres reply

    hi! I’m from México and my wedding had to be rescheduled because the hotel that I reserved didnt set the date on their calendario and they sell ALL The rooms so theme wars not any rooms left for me or my guests so they changed The date for The next weekend , i dont know if i should send another sabe The date or just with The event that i made in Facebook and wedding wire.. Help!

  6. avatar Susan reply

    My son’s wedding was postponed. It will now be on New Years Eve. Our original guest list was about 150. None of our family will be able to attend and close to 60 others will be vacationing. I don’t feel right inviting those people again since I know they will be gone. The wedding will take place 100 miles away for most of the remaining guests and we have bad winter weather. The bride has 400+ on her list. What is appropriate? Can we schedule a separate celebration when the majority of our guests are in town? The wedding is just family, reception follows at same venue.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Susan! My opinion would be that you should invite all of the original guests on the list, whether or not you think they’ll be able to attend — it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to change their plans! As for a second celebration, again, in my opinion, it doesn’t seem completely appropriate, since your original guest list is pretty large, and, even if the guest count ends up being smaller, you weren’t intentionally planning an elopement or true destination wedding. Inviting the same people to the wedding and then to another wedding celebration doesn’t seem quite right. Wishing your family all the best!

  7. avatar D reply

    We are having to reschedule our wedding. It is in ONE month. I don’t know what to do. All of our vendors and location are all flexible and can easily be change, no money lost there. However, many of our guests have already purchased non-refundable travel plans. We can’t afford to pay for their travel and reimburse them. We plan to send out the letter to all of our guests within the next 1-2 days explaining that we are changing our date. We do not have a new date selected yet. Please advise.

  8. avatar FutureMrs reply

    My fiance and I had to postpone our wedding until next year due to many unfortunate circumstances. Now we are ready to plan, after all the stress wirh planning initially we’ve decided that we no longer want it as large as we planned. How do we plan without inviting many of the guests that were originally on our first guest list, and would that be considered improper

  9. avatar Sarah reply

    What is the best way to postpone a wedding that is two and a half weeks away? My fiancé family won’t be able to make it and he doesn’t want to marry without them standing next to him. Any suggestions?

  10. avatar Elizabeth reply

    My fiancé and I had to unexpectedly postpone our wedding this past weekend. I had been getting progressively sicker throughout the week leading up to the wedding, taking steroids and every OTC medicine I could get my hands on. Fast forward to the day before the wedding, and I was so sick! I hadn’t slept in 48 hours because of a constant cough and not being able to breathe. My attitude was still that the show must go on. When I finally slept about 3 hours after the rehearsal I woke up feeling like I literally was not going to make it through the day. I ended up in the hospital with a 104 fever, super dehydrated, crying uncontrollably – the works – with a doctor saying either he could give me meds that would knock me out or he could just give me fluids but either was there was no way I was walking down the aisle in four hours. We opted for the meds, but now the fallout has been nuclear! The only people who believe us are like the two or three people who saw me hooked up to the machines struggling to breathe, etc. Everyone else, including family thinks it was cold feet. Now nobody supports our efforts to reschedule except a small handful of people. Surprisingly all of our vendors have been more understanding than anyone. How do we handle things from here? Everyone was notified but it was all via phone calls and texts the morning of from the hospital. I am at a complete loss! Please help!

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I’m a big fan of classic Southern style weddings, especially ones with pale pink accents. I attribute this to the romantic in me. But I have to say I fell hard for Brittany + Matt’s turquoise celebration. The classic white florals and soft gold accents combine to make the bright turquoise feel refreshing and joyful! As y’all also may know about me, I believe in love at first sight. That’s why Brittany + Matt’s adorable chance-meeting-turned-real-life-meet cute made my heart sing!

Special thanks to Rebekah Hoyt for not only capturing their gorgeous big day, but one of my favorite first look photos ever! Just wait until you see Matt’s face! I must warn you that it may crack wide open even the hardest of hearts :)

To fulfill the rhyme, I had old satin from my mom’s wedding dress on the ring bearer’s pillow, and new lace wrapped around my bouquet from the same material with which we made my cap sleeves. I had borrowed and blue shoes: I found and fell in love with a pair of funky designer shoes on eBay and snatched them up after I saw they had blue soles with little diamonds that said “I” and “do” under each sole. I consider them borrowed because they were clearly purchased for someone else’s wedding, although they were never actually worn!

Did you decide to do a “first look”? Yes, we did! At first I was unsure about it because I wanted to stick with tradition and not see Matt until I walked down the aisle, but it turned out to be one of the most special parts of the day that we shared alone together before the wedding commenced. It also allowed us time to take photos before the ceremony and then get whisked away to enjoy the reception all the more!

Pure and absolute joy at its very best!

Tell us about finding your wedding dress. 
Finding my dress was a long process. I thought so many looked great, and I chose one of my favorites, a more fitted dress that I was dead set on. After a couple weeks of thought, though, I wasn’t so sure. I felt like I should look again and I tried on a completely different style of dress. It was fuller and more traditional. The funny part was that the store was out of stock of the Isadora Marie, the dress I ended up choosing, so I had to try on the “sister” dress that had a different bottom and fold the entire bottom half up to the waistline to make it look similar and get a feel for how it would look. Wouldn’t you know, the jimmy-rigged “sister” dress had me speechless! The photos are pretty funny to look back on because it didn’t look quite the same, but we had the store, Tiffany’s Bridal, order the real Isadora Marie. When I finally got to try it on, I was sure I had found my gown! The only thing I felt was missing to make it just my own were lace cap sleeves. We had Tiffany’s order some extra lace from the same style as the bottom of the dress and had them fitted and even made detachable, as I was excited to have the option of two looks for the wedding and reception. I kept the sleeves on until midway through the reception and danced the night away without the straps!

I was really tickled that we had the historic and iconic “Richmond Trolley Car” transport the wedding party to the ceremony and reception. The trolley is the epitome of the city’s Southern charm and is most certainly a tradition for Richmond’s summer weddings. The overall aesthetics of the area in which we had the wedding were very quaint and romantic in a special Southern way, with winding roads lined with great big oak trees! Both the church and reception venues also had similar architectural styles that were very Southern in nature, with lined brick archways and big white columns on the exterior and black and white checkered marble flooring and draped curtains in the interior.

Did you write your own vows? 
Yes, we did. In my vows, I made a list of promises to Matt by using scriptural texts and listing our most unique and personal times together. I don’t have a favorite phrase, but there was a really funny moment when I promised to “intentionally give two of Matt’s love languages, quality time and touch.” After I said it, Matt kind of smirked and then the entire congregation erupted in laughter! It was a really cute moment.

What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? 
We had Colossians 3:15-19, 1 John 4:9-16 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

Describe your wedding cake or dessert. 
Our cake was a four-tier round cake with alternating colors and patterns on each layer. I was torn about the cake topper, so we had a bow made instead. The patterns consisted of latticed pearl polka dots and sweeping swirls and circles for a sort of girly and romantic feeling. The inner layers were “European” style, cream-filled cake with almond, vanilla, and raspberry layers.

We loved the energy and tone that the band set to make the reception one of the most fun weddings our guests have hopefully ever attended! I had heard great reviews about Class Act, but in person I absolutely loved the enthusiasm and talent the band brought forth and especially loved how involved and inclusive they were in bringing us all together! Everything ran so smoothly from their soft playing during the cocktail hour to the announcements and transitions all the way to getting down on the dance floor and starting a dance-off with the guests. At one point in the night, they got my mom to “shake her money maker.” It was such an awesome moment to watch, I smiled for days remembering how fun they were!

And don’t miss their beautiful wedding film by Shaina Koren!

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. 
We met on December 17, 2008 in Richmond, Virginia at Have A Nice Day Cafe. I was with my high school friends from Richmond and Matt was with one of his friends from the UVA track team. We met as strangers. I saw him in line and he saw me, but we were both too shy to introduce ourselves and were not sure of one another’s interest! My friend forced me to talk to Matt because I couldn’t stop looking over at him, and Matt obliged. The first exchange was a bit nervous on both ends, but we were both so intrigued to find out more. After maybe only an hour of talking, my friends decided to leave so I had to tell Matt goodbye. I quickly asked for his number for fear of never seeing him again. That night, I could hardly sleep and just felt in my heart I had met someone very special! The next morning I had a Facebook message. He had apparently found me after looking all night online for my name (From the loud music in the café, he actually had thought my name was Whitney instead of Brittany!) and we began communicating until we had our first date a few days later. On our date, we talked about everything from our families and values to beliefs and dreams. We realized this was more than just infatuation and we shared our first kiss after the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve 2008. We knew that God had put us very purposefully in one another’s lives and continued to date from that night until we were engaged in May 2012.

Tell us all about the proposal! 
In May 2012, Matt proposed to me and threw me a surprise party on the one of the private pavilions of the University of Virginia. He was living on the lawn that year and was preparing to graduate and invited me to a “party” for one of his campus organizations. I kind of had a inkling he was up to something as he was sounding nervous in the days leading up to May 12. I arrived on campus and saw one of Matt’s friends with a camera and kind of felt suspicious. Then when I got to Matt’s room, he was already dressed up to take me out to dinner. We went to dinner at one of our favorite spots on in Charlottesville and ate on the tiny terrace upstairs. I asked him what we were doing after dinner, but he was very anxious and kept diverting the questions. Afterward, we took a walk on and he led me to the back entrance of one of the old gardens surrounding the lawn on campus. We walked through the garden and when we got to the top stairs, I noticed music playing, tables set with candles, and a bar. I commented, “Oh, there must be a party here tonight!” Then Matt pulled me to the center of the garden and was sort of shaking and telling me how much he loved me. Our favorite song, “God Gave Me You” by Blake Shelton started playing and then I knew it was happening! He got down on one knee and pulled out the ring. Then he asked, “Where does it go?” Ha! We kissed and afterward, our friends started trickling out of the pavilion house and racing down to hug us. We spent the evening celebrating with friends! It was a magical night and I was amazed at the thoughtful and incredible man who gave me this magical surprise!!! Our proposal has a YouTube video!

When did y’all get married? 
June 8th, 2013

How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 
250

Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. 
We wanted our musical selections to reflect our appreciation and passion for ALL styles of music! I was a music major in college and it has been a longtime hobby of ours to listen to anything from classical to oldies to pop! I walked down the aisle to the traditional “Bridal Chorus” by Wagner, the wedding processional was “Canon in D,” and we recessed to “Wedding March” from A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Mendelssohn. We wanted to make use of the beautiful organ and honor the timelessness of traditional selections. To incorporate some of our personal convictions of our more contemporary expression of faith, we had my childhood friend sing, “I’m In Love With You,” a Christian song sung by Kari Jobe, as well as during our Prelude, “Jesus at the Center,” by Israel Houghton and “I Desire Jesus” by Hillsong along with “Postcards from Far Away” by Coldplay. Our first dance was “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley and father-daughter dance was “My Girl,” the song my dad taught me to dance to in our garage growing up. The band played the best of oldies, soul, disco and funk hits from the 60s and 70s!

Describe your wedding flowers. 
My wedding flowers were a mixture of everything I love: white peonies (my absolute favorite!), pale coral roses, and my other close second favorite, succulents! I have been obsessed with them for the last year, and was so excited to incorporate them into the bouquet! I would say overall, I wanted the bouquets to have a very romantic and vintage feel. My overall color palette was creams, pale corals and pinks, and the addition of the pearls and golds in ribbons, added beads and sticks coming out of the bouquets in the reception. For the pews, we used a simple pale pink rose with white hydrangeas and long white tulle with a satin bow. For the reception eating tables, we had hydrangeas and roses and chose to brighten up the colors and heighten the arrangements. We also used smaller arrangements of white roses for the high top tables and greenery around the centerpieces on the outside eating tables.

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? 
I took bridal portraits with Katelyn James on location at Maymont Park, one of downtown Richmond’s treasures as well as a place where Matt and I had one of our first dates. I really love that special and uniquely Southern tradition of presenting the bride in her gown at the entrance of the reception, yet at the same time it was a pretty far-fetched concept to many of up North! When I told a lot of friends in New York that I was going to have bridal portraits taken, they were like, “What is that? Do you have to do one of those?” Ha! Only in the South!

What range did your wedding budget fall into? 
$50,000-$75,000

What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? 
Hands down the most memorable and emotional moment was when my husband danced with my grandmother at the reception. She has been ill from heart rhythm complications and I was devastated because we weren’t sure if she was going to be able to come to the wedding. My husband pulled her onto the dance floor and the band was playing a really sweet rendition of an oldie. I stood there with my mom, sisters, and close friends and just wept at both the beauty of all the people that I love being together in one place as well as the bittersweet sadness of this potentially being one of the last years we share with her.

What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? 
Don’t sweat the small stuff. With weddings it is so easy to get carried away with all the tiny details. They are beautiful and incredibly meaningful, but make sure to really enjoy the ride in every moment of preparation. For some, it is a yearlong process and for others, maybe just a few months or weeks. But rather than fretting over it, relish the time you have to make your day just right with the people you love!

What’s next for you as a couple? What are you most looking forward to about married life? 
After a month-long trip to our honeymoon in Spain followed by a visit (and our second wedding reception!) to my husband’s parents and family in Uelzen, Germany, we are really excited to just finally cohabitate as one and decorate our first apartment together. We live in a beautiful brownstone right next to Central Park in the Upper West Side in New York City, so we are also quite excited to run together in the park as well as try out the wide array of local restaurants!

Photographer: Rebekah Hoyt Photography | Videographer: Shaina Koren Cinematography | Planner: Beverly Young, Mother of the Bride | Ceremony Venue: River Road United Methodist Church| Reception Venue: The Tuckahoe Woman’s Club | Florist: King William Florist | Wedding Cake: Ukrop’s Bakery | Caterer: Tommy Norwood Catering | Rentals: Party Perfect | Lighting: Blue Steel Lighting Design | Band: “Class Act” | Special Details: Shutterbooth | Bride’s Gown: Tiffany’s Bridal “Isadora Marie” Style | Napkins with Gold “M”: The Knot Wedding Shop | Bride’s Hair Clip/Jewelry: Tiffany’s Bridal and Macy’s | Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist: Faces By Joy | Bride’s Shoes: Pour la Victoire | Bridesmaids’ Dresses: The Dessy Group “After Six” Style | Groom’s and Groomsmen Attire: Men’s Warehouse | Bridal Portraits: Katelyn James Photography | Additional Vendors: Richmond Trolley Car, 1950 Chevrolet Getaway Car from family friend

marissa Written with love by Marissa
7 Comments
  1. avatar Emily reply

    Oh my word, I adore this gown! Anything with sleeves gets my vote :)

  2. avatar Kat reply

    I was a huge fan of this wedding when I saw it on Rebekah’s blog so I loved reading more about it from the Bride’s view! I love her advice to other brides and definitely adore that first look picture!!!

  3. avatar Rayna {Colorado Wedding Photographer} reply

    Wow, I LOVE the way that turquoise pops! So beautiful. :-)

  4. avatar Lauren reply

    I absolutely love those tablecloths with those arrangements. Gorgeous.

  5. avatar Erin reply

    I’m getting married in June and am also having a turquoise wedding! I’m on the hunt for just the right color for the bridesmaids dresses and these bridesmaids dresses are perfect! I see that it says they are After Six by Dessy, but could you tell me what After Six calls this color? I’m having a hard time finding it. Thank you so much!!

  6. avatar Don't forget your napkins! – reply

    […] via Southern Weddings {Link} Photographer: Rebekah Hoyt […]

  7. avatar mariya reply

    Hi. What is the color of the bridesmaid dresses?

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Good morning, lovelies!! I’m currently on my way to New Orleans for a fun-filled (po’boy-filled, beignet-filled…) vacation! Though I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for months, there was plenty of exciting news here in the office. We introduced our newest editor, Lisa to the team this week and are thrilled for y’all to get to know her! Say howdy right here.

Lisa will actually be taking over the Round-Ups from now on, so this will be my last one! While Lisa is getting to know all of you, I’ll be chugging away at my computer designing more for the shop, magazine and blog.

We rounded up a few Instagrams to show y’all what we’ve been up to behind-the-scenes in June.

Our first Southern Weddings Newsletter went out July 1 and just in case you haven’t signed up, we wanted to give you a taste of all the red, white and blue goodness!

Real weddings are the finest!

Kelly + Wyatt’s pink and peachy wedding had just the right amount of coastal details. See it here.

Whitney + Gary’s gorgeous outdoor nuptials were the perfect celebration for this couple who fell in love in an unexpected way! See it here.

Happy things!

Don’t forget to stop by our Facebook Friday today. Danielle Nichol is sharing something sweet with us!

Charleston, SC, brides! Are you looking for a photographer? The talented Kelly Dillon is offering an amazing wedding photography deal for brides. Anyone who books Kelly between November 2013 and April 2014 for their Charleston wedding will receive 50% off their wedding package. Email Kelly at [email protected] for more details.

Happy weekend, y’all!

nicoleyang Written with love by Nicole
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