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The idea of an “unplugged wedding” is not new (it even made it into the New York Times this year!), but we wanted to take a few minutes to offer our own two cents, Southern style :) Perhaps the most interesting thing about this trend is that it’s paralleled by an equally strong trend of “hashtag weddings” — celebrations where couples are explicitly encouraging guests to hop online and share photos. Gracious — talk about a tech conundrum!

Y’all know that digital devices are everywhere in our daily lives, which means that contemplating the role you want them to play on your wedding day is almost unavoidable. There’s no one right or wrong path to take — you just have to find the one that resonates with you and your fiance! For our money, though, the best solution seems to be a ceremony where guests are encouraged to put down their devices, and a reception where they’re encouraged to pick them up — within reason.

A wedding ceremony is a brief and intimate moment shared between people who have been brought together as witnesses to the beginning of your marriage. What a beautiful idea! We truly believe that a meaningful ceremony can change lives — but probably not if guests are too busy clicking away to hear or see what’s happening. What bride wants to be greeted with a sea of LCD screens instead of smiling faces as she walks down the aisle? Not this one, I can tell you that — I wanted our guests to watch, laugh, clap, and dab away tears — and really listen and remember — instead of click and post.

Landon Jacob via Southern Weddings

So, how can you make this happen? There are a number of strategies:

1. Give guests notice of your intentions on your wedding website. A simple note can go a long way! Try: We are honored to have you all as witnesses to our vows and the beginning of our marriage. We invite you to be truly present at our ceremony, and respectfully request that all cameras and phones be turned off. We look forward to sharing our professional photos after the big day!
2. Include a note in your program. Something similar to the above wording should work beautifully.
3. Get your officiant in on the plan. Ask him or her to make a brief announcement at the beginning of the ceremony. For whatever reason, when the request comes from the officiant, guests will often be more likely to respect the couple’s wishes. If you’re getting married in a house of worship that doesn’t allow photos, you have even more backing on your side!
4. Consider a limited photo opportunity. At my uncle’s wedding, the officiant gave guests one chance after the processional to take as many photos as they wanted — even encouraging them to get up and stand in the aisle to do so. Then, he asked everyone to turn their phones off for the rest of the ceremony. I thought it was a nice compromise!

Anna K via Southern Weddings and Pure 7 Studios via Southern Weddings

While the same reasons for wanting guests to put down their phone hold true for receptions, many couples also love the idea of seeing their celebration from their guests’ perspective, and the additional sense of community that online interactions can create. If you’d like to encourage your guests to share your reception, we think social media hashtags are a great way to organize postings. You can post one on your wedding website to get guests excited before the big day, but make sure to post it at the reception, too. It might even be a good idea to mention it in your ceremony program to make your wishes clear for the different parts of the day: We are honored to have you all as witnesses to our vows and the beginning of our marriage. We invite you to be truly present at our ceremony, and respectfully request that all cameras and phones be turned off. Please feel free to share photos at our reception, however, using hashtag #carolineandben!

The South is famous for its hospitality, graciousness, and sense of community. When social media enhances these things — and it can — that’s a beautiful thing! Hopefully these tips will help y’all do just that.

Are you having an “unplugged wedding”? Will you have a hashtag for your wedding? We’d love to know!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Anna reply

    We got married at the end of may and we didn’t have to worry about an unplugged wedding because my itty bitty town has no cell service. But it was fun to see the posts as they happened over the next days as people returned to civilization. We followed along on our phones while we were on our honeymoon road trip.

  2. avatar Lisa reply

    I am a HUGE fan of the unplugged ceremony, and will definitely be doing it when I get married someday! I’m not against encouraging people to share pictures during the reception, but I definitely think the ceremony is a time for people to put their technology away and focus the incredible moment happening for the bride and groom!

  3. avatar Laura Bitler reply

    As always, a wonderful post!! I wish I had read this BEFORE our wedding because I love your ceremony wording. We did the hashtag (which you graciously participated in) and it was so much fun for us to search for that # later. We were able to see the wedding through the eyes of our guests and see photos of details we didn’t notice or moments we missed. Since it’ll take a while to get the professional photographs, this was an easy way to chorale a variety of wedding photos that our guests captured.

  4. avatar Kaitlin reply

    Emily, I love your perspective on this!! We definitely want a ceremony where everyone is present, so I love your wording example to put in the programs! We will have a hashtag and encourage friends/family to share photos at the reception but the ceremony will stay more intimate :)

  5. avatar Emily Alice reply

    I love the idea of having the ceremony be completely unplugged, then with an Insta/Twitter hashtag for the preparation, reception, etc. Not only do cell phones distract for the ceremony attendants themselves, but no one wants professional photos with iPhones in the air!

  6. avatar Friday Fresh Squeeze | Floridian Weddings reply

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  7. avatar Caitlyn | The Aerialist Press reply

    Great idea! I’m an avid instagrammer but your I Do’s are a special moment.

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  9. avatar DimityC reply

    I am sooooo glad I found this. I will definitely be having an unplugged wedding, and now i know how to do that with tact. I am quite a private person, and the thought of seeing a see of mobile phones pointed at me as i walk down the isle… well…. it makes me very annoyed to say the least. The last thing i want is for my special day to be all over facebook with unflattering lighting, filters and angles…… eeeeewww. I want it to be remembered as gorgeous and perfect, which i will leave in the capable hands of my photographer.

  10. avatar David Roddy reply

    We wanted to have a traditional, and unplugged wedding. We used Photo Etiquette Cards for my event, and they worked great! There are always different forms of Wedding Etiquette!

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Bride Kirsti shares her classic Savannah wedding!

Y’all are going to love today’s bride, Kirsti! Not only was she one of our own Southern Bride Bloggers, but her Georgia wedding to Brett is pure classic, Southern goodness — starting with her attire. From her Southern bump right down to her monogram Jacks, Kirsti’s wedding day style is quickly climbing the ranks to one of my favorite looks. Of course, her style isn’t the only thing that would make any fellow Southern gal proud: the way she and Brett honored her late father and loved on their guests is what’s most notable from their celebration. As Kirsti said, “The biggest Southern aspect was showing our guests true Southern hospitality and gratitude in return for traveling to celebrate with us.“ Yes, ma’am!

Keep reading to learn more ways Kirsti and Brett shared the South with their guests! And see if you can spot a little Southern Weddings love incorporated into their big day!

Thanks for sharing, Holly Felts!

Tell us your love story in one sentence. Best friends turned into the relationship neither of you knew you needed, turned into the sweetest marriage you could ask for!
Tell us all about the proposal! When my dear friend and photographer, Mallory, asked if I wanted to meet at a local vineyard to discuss styling a photoshoot with her, I jumped at the idea! She and I had met for coffee to talk about work, weddings, and photoshoots before, and so I had no idea that she had this plan up her sleeve. We arrived at the vineyard and I was immediately drawn to a charming old cabin looking across a large pond. I said, “Mallory, Bret would LOVE this, let me take a picture!” As soon as I started to take photos, I heard the door open and got nervous that we were disturbing someone. To my absolute surprise, my soon-to-be finance walked out the door, got down on one knee, and before we knew it – our lives were forever changed! Not only was Bret’s proposal the sweetest gift I could ever ask for, he had arranged for Mallory to document the whole thing so we could relive that moment forever!

I was of course certain to include something old, new, borrowed, and blue with my late Nanny’s pearl earrings, Jack Rogers with my new monogram, a pearl hairpin from a cousin, and a heart cut out of my dad’s overalls.

Our favorite Southern tradition (especially because it worked!) was burying the bourbon! We had to get creative on how and where to bury it, as we were saying “I do” 1,000 miles from home in a public space, so we chose to bury it in a decorative flower pot and drive it to Georgia!

Being two Southern soul food lovers, we couldn’t think of anything better to serve at the reception than fried chicken, smothered pork chops, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, and all the fixins – and don’t forget the sweetest tea we could get our hands on!

The biggest Southern aspect was showing our guests true Southern hospitality and gratitude in return for traveling to celebrate with us. Being a destination wedding, our guest list was smaller, and that allowed us to serve our guests and allow them to feel as though we were simply having them over for a dinner party at our home!

Did you decide to do a first look? We did choose to do a first look so that we could spend more time with our guests after the ceremony. With it being a destination wedding, we wanted to celebrate with our friends and family that traveled from Oklahoma and many other states to be with us! Bret chose the location of our first look, Wormhole Historic Site, and I think it was the perfect spot to share that special moment. I was worried that other visitors would take away from the moment, but we were blissfully unaware that there was anyone else there at all!

What made you choose your ceremony and reception venues? After months of planning a large soiree close to home, we felt like we wanted to really focus on what mattered most and say “I do” in one of our favorite vacation spots with our closest friends and family and began planning anew in Savannah! We wanted our friends and family to really get a feel for the city, so we chose a charming square downtown for our ceremony and a historic mansion to celebrate afterwards.

What were some of the most meaningful or special parts of your ceremony? My dad passed away in 2014, so we wanted to find special ways to honor him during our ceremony. I asked his best friend to walk me down the aisle, and then my brother to officially give me away. We then asked guests to share a moment of silence with us and to read a special prayer I had printed on the back of our programs, remembering all our friends and family who were unable to celebrate with us that day. My best friend and maid of honor’s dad officiated our ceremony, so it was very special to have him share memories from my childhood. We also selected our vows from the suggestions in our Joyful Wedding Planner and wrote them to each other in keepsake booklets to read to each other each year on our anniversary!

Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. This was one of the more challenging wedding planning tasks! We finally selected a violin cover of “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran for my walk down the aisle — the lyrics described our feelings on our wedding day. For the recessional, we chose a classic: “Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours),” because it is such a happy, celebratory song! I also surprised Bret at the end of the reception by playing his favorite song by our favorite local band, Turnpike Troubadours, to bring a little piece of Oklahoma to Georgia with us!

What was your favorite detail from your wedding? The stationery was probably my favorite part overall, because I have always had a soft spot for paper goods, and this was a way for me to get creative and customize the overall feel for our wedding. I always say that the invitation suite is the first glimpse your guests will get of your wedding theme, so I was tickled pink to bring out all of the blue and white and even added a touch of magnolia! My favorite detail from our invitation suite was the line from the song “Georgia on My Mind” that we had printed on the back of each envelope to get guests excited about being in Savannah! Our full paper suite also gave us a chance to say all of the things we wanted to say but wouldn’t have had time, such as asking our guests to enjoy an unplugged ceremony, sharing the history of Brockington Hall, placing a note of gratitude at each place setting and, of course, honoring my dad.

What did you serve for your wedding cake or dessert? We chose to do a small cake so that we could also serve some of our Southern favorites! Bret’s parents graciously let us borrow their cake topper from their wedding 36 years ago, and now we look forward to passing it on to our kids. Alongside our cake, we served banana pudding and peach cobbler from Paula Deen!
What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? We were very mindful to remember that no matter the amount we spent on the wedding, at the end of the day, we would still be husband and wife, and we did our best to not let expenses get out of hand. At the beginning, we chose a few items that meant the most to us to splurge on, and the rest followed as it could fit within our budget. We were able to save money by purchasing the alcohol in bulk ourselves, and I also designed all of our paper materials myself.

When did y’all get married? May 6, 2018
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 54
Tell us the highlights of finding your wedding dress. I spotted my dress in a Southern Wedding blog post in 2015 and knew that I had never seen a more beautiful dress in my whole life! When our engagement came in 2017, I began the search for the “Paz” gown by Augusta Jones, but struggled to find a store near me that carried it. Thankfully, I found a boutique that had ONE of the gowns left – it was off the rack and was in need of a little TLC, but I had to have it! I took my momma and mother-in-law with me shopping, and the look on their faces said they agreed.
What was your favorite thing about wedding planning? Preparing for our marriage with our officiant during premarital counseling was very special to us, because although we had dated for four years, we both grew even closer during that time. Throughout the planning process, we were very intentional about our time since Bret was in his third year of optometry school. We would make little dates out of planning, and set aside a block of time to spend time with each other and work to plan a meaningful wedding celebration with our friends and family.
If you are comfortable responding, what range did your wedding budget fall into? $10,000-$25,000
What was your most memorable moment from your wedding day? Bret’s favorite moment was the first look, because he said it was special to be in a more relaxed and quiet atmosphere to soak in the moment of seeing me in my dress for the first time. I personally loved the feeling of walking down the aisle to him, because it was so calming to know that all of our planning was over, and this was the moment that we had been waiting our whole lives for.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your wedding? I would remind readers to enjoy and savor this new season in life because it goes by oh so fast! Being engaged is full of excitement, congratulations, parties, gifts, new experiences, planning, dress shopping, and picking out rings – all things that you haven’t done before and will only do once! I would also always remind newly engaged couples to really focus on planning for your marriage while planning your wedding. I have the best memories of our one-on-one conversations with our officiant, hearing words of wisdom from friends and family (and some strangers!) who have been married for 20, 30, and even 50+ years, and having friends help guide us along the way and pray for our marriage before it began.

Photographer: Holly Felts Photography | Planner: Emily DeLoach with Sincerely Yours Events | Ceremony Venue: Chatham Square in Savannah, GA | Reception Venue: Brockington Hall | Florist: Kato Floral Designs | Wedding cake: Publix | Caterer and dessert baker: The Lady & Sons | Rentals: EventWorks Rentals | DJ: All About You Entertainment | Paper products: designed by the bride | Bride’s gown: “Paz” by Augusta Jones | Bride’s shoes: Jack Rogers | Bridesmaid dresses: | Menswear: JC Penney | Trolley: Old Savannah Tours

marissa Written with love by Marissa
1 Comment
  1. avatar Janna Toruno reply

    I love that they buried the bourbon in a flower pot! My fiance and I have already planned to go to our venue 2 hours away a month before the wedding for our last engaged couple day date before our October wedding so we can bury the bourbon! :)

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If you follow our friend Emily Ley, you may might have seen work from today’s bride, Whitney. She’s a senior designer for Emily, and I have been eyeing her wedding plans and Instagram sneak peeks since she got engaged. Whitney has incredible taste, and I knew her wedding day would be fabulous! With Blue Ribbon Vendor the Mims House as the beautiful backdrop, Whitney and David celebrated their wedding day with a classic, Southern-meets-modern aesthetic. They intentionally chose a few well-placed statement pieces that added a peek into their personalities–I especially love the way they had their vows calligraphed and framed to be used as part of the reception decor! With a graphic designer bride, there surely wasn’t a bit of slack in the pretty details department. It’s so fun seeing all the little graphic touches around every corner!

Big hugs to Sara Logan for sharing Whitney and David’s wedding with us!

Did you have something borrowed, blue, old, and new? If so, do tell! I sure did! My something blue was my Toms shoes (comfy enough to wear all night!). My something old was the buttons on my dress; they were the buttons from my mom’s wedding gown that we had sewn onto my gown. I loved having that little detail with me all day! My something new was my dress and jewelry.

The Mims House was the only venue we toured, and I fell in love from the moment we stepped under the magnolia trees outside. It perfectly combined my love for Southern history and the charm of a backyard wedding.

Tell us about finding your wedding dress. My mom, sister, and I went to the BHLDN shop in DC. I asked to try on almost every dress they carried (when in lace-filled Rome, right?) and started with the ball gowns. Surprisingly, I didn’t have much of a reaction to any of the gowns with a full skirt, so my stylist asked if I wanted to try something entirely opposite: a solid matte silk mermaid gown. I will never forget the moment I turned around and saw myself in the mirror. All my life, I had tried to hide and downplay my curves, and this dress did completely the opposite of that. It made me feel beautiful, and when I walked out, my mom and sister had tears in their eyes. My gown was not the Southern ball gown that I had imagined, but it made me feel more confident and beautiful than I have ever felt before!

Our first look was one of my favorite moments of the wedding day! It was so wonderful to have time for just the two of us to calm some of those pre-wedding nerves. Bonus: we were able to check a lot of the photos off our list early, so we could enjoy our signature drinks at cocktail hour!

Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. Our wedding party walked down the aisle to “A Thousand Years” by The Piano Guys and I walked down the aisle with my dad to Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” by Grace Churchill. I still get tears thinking about that moment before the doors opened up when I was holding onto my dad’s arm. For some reason, all of the emotions hit me in one huge wave, and he looked at me with that knowing and loving smile only a dad can give you and said, “Don’t worry, Whit, I know he’s the one.” Feeling how much my dad loved David combined with my love for all the people waiting outside made my heart pretty much burst with happy tears. At the end of the ceremony, David and I walked back up the aisle to “Halo” by Beyoncé. Partially because it’s beautiful, partially because it perfectly captures the joy we felt, and partially because wearing a fitted mermaid gown calls for a little Beyoncé. For our first dance, we chose “Angel” by Jack Johnson. Our first summer dating, David gave me the Jack Johnson live in concert CD, and we listened to it together on the way to the beach. When that song first played, I had to hold back tears as I thought, “This is the song I want us to dance to.” Five years later, in my fancy white dress surrounded by our favorite people, I had tears in my eyes again listening to that song.

Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? We did write our own vows! We also had our vows beautifully hand-lettered by Lauren Heim Studio (and framed by Framebridge!) to bring our ceremony into the reception. My favorite line is “I vow to never stop pursuing my passions, and always support you in following yours.”

On our wedding day, a massive tropical storm decided to come through. It was torrentially pouring on and off all day and I was so grateful that we had rented a tent for our outdoor ceremony and reception. After my dad walked me down the aisle, there was a MASSIVE tent-shaking clap of thunder right as I looked up to see David smiling at me. The rain and rumbling thunder continued through our ceremony and it felt as though we had God right there with us!

Our favorite detail of the wedding was: I absolutely loved all of our wedding food! Brooke and the team at Belle’s Catering created the most wonderful, Southern, locally sourced menu for the evening. For dinner, we even had a gourmet pizza bar because our first date was going out for pizza!

What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? We tried to make sure that all of our decor was intentional and that we weren’t adding things just for the sake of adding them. We cut costs by incorporating well-placed statement pieces and renting vintage items. We also used a ticket system for our bar, where every guest was given three drinks and after that, they could purchase more (or use a friend’s ticket)! This was great because it allowed us to serve our guests while also having a budget and no surprises.

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? One of the funniest parts of the day was the adventure that unburying the bourbon became. We thought we had a map to exactly where the bottle was… turns out that either we were awful map readers or the map was off. Oh, and it was monsooning while we were digging, so the guys got completely soaked and covered in mud! David and I followed in my family’s tradition and cut our wedding cake with my family’s heirloom Civil War sword. It is this gigantic, heavy, probably not food-safe sword, and we could not stop cracking up while trying to slice this darling, delicate, little cake. Boxwoods are my very favorite Southern greenery, so our ceremony backdrop and bar were entirely boxwood, and I had some sprigs of it in my bouquet.

We had a simple one-tier coconut cake for David and me, and a variety of cupcakes for our guests. Growing up, David’s mom made her famous coconut cake for him and his siblings’ birthdays, and we wanted that family favorite at our wedding.

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. David and I met in 2005 at summer swim team practice. Through the years, I became close friends with his sisters, but he and I sort of just passed each other. I was the loud and spirited girl that quiet people like him tend to avoid. In 2010, we both got summer jobs coaching and lifeguarding at the same pool, and while we were forced to spend time together, we totally hit it off!
Tell us all about the proposal! One evening in early May 2015, David and I decided to go test my new camera at our favorite park. We walked down to an old bridge that cuts across the lake so I could practice different settings and we could admire the sunset. I was awkwardly crouched down, trying to get an “artsy” shot of the chain link fence in the sunset (in retrospect: why…), and when I turned around, there he was on one knee, with a humongous grin and a gorgeous ring. I was so surprised that to my embarrassment, my first response was, “Is this real?!?!” (immediately followed by a YES and a kiss and lots of selfies with the ring).
When did y’all get married? May 29, 2016
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? Just over 100
Describe your wedding flowers. Alana, my florist, brought all of my floral dreams to life in one gorgeous, soft, and Southern bouquet! It combined peonies, garden roses, boxwood leaves, local blueberries, and tons of greenery.
How did you plan for your marriage while planning your wedding? David and I attended premarital counseling with our ceremony officiant while we were engaged–something I highly recommend! It was really fun and helpful to prepare for things like combining finances.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? Without a doubt, our biggest challenge was that about four months into wedding planning, I moved from North Carolina (where the wedding would be) to Florida. So everything that used to be just down the road became 12 hours away. It was quite a logistical challenge to balance DIY-ing things from another state!
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? Stop worrying so darn much and let your vendors do what they do best! Handing over the reins to my vendors was the single most freeing (and stress-relieving) part of planning.

Photographer: Sara Logan Photography | Videographer: Carly Rae Film | Day-Of Coordinator: Orangerie Events | Venue: Leslie Alford Mims House | Florist: Serendipity Designs | Wedding Cake: Sugar Euphoria | Caterer: Belle’s Catering | Rentals: Greenhouse Picker Sisters | Paper Products: Wedding Paper Divas | Bride’s Gown: BHLDN | Bride’s Veil: BHLDN | Bride and Bridesmaids’ Jewelry: Kendra Scott | Hair and Makeup: LULA Hair + Makeup | Bride’s Shoes: TOMS | Bridesmaids’ Dresses: BHLDN and David’s Bridal | Menswear: Men’s Wearhouse | Engraved Hangers and Wood Cutouts: Delovely Details | Vows Print: Lauren Heim Studio | Custom Framing: Framebridge | Pizza Bar Sign Holders: Esselle | Wedding Maps: Fresh Cut Prints | Welcome Bags: Olive Paper Co. | North Carolina BBQ Map: EDIA Maps

The Mims House, Orangerie Events, Serendipity Designs, Sugar Euphoria, and LULA Hair and Makeup are delightful members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
  1. avatar All Of Our Wedding Photos! | Whitney Blake reply

    […] photos! Our photos (and a fun interview with me about planning and details!) are featured over on Southern Weddings today and I wanted to share my favorites here with […]

  2. avatar Allison reply

    I adore the fact that they walked back up the aisle to “Halo”! What a sweet but unexpected song. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since I read that!

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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