Southern Weddings

I love this post! Even though I’m not married yet, I have always struggled with which name I will drop (or to keep both), since I will take my husband’s last name. I am so glad my parents chose to call me by my first and middle name – the meaning behind both names, especially my middle name is precious, since I was named after our alma mater! I’m leaning towards dropping my last name (especially for monogram purposes!) because of something my dad told me when I graduated: everyone always asked him if he was upset he never had a son to pass on the family name. He said he never thought twice about because he knew his daughter would make a name for her own. I know that’s a lot to live up to, and even though I love my family and my last name, I think I’ll keep my double name!

Such an interesting topic I’d never considered! My mother was always called by her middle name even when she was a baby because my grandmother and grandfather thought she’d be a boy! (this was the 60s) So she’s always been Lynne and they added on Charlotte as a first name since she turned out to be a girl! So obviously when she married she couldn’t drop her middle name. So she added on her new married name and has 4! When I got married though I legally dropped my middle name because I LOVE my maiden name but I really think it’s a matter of preference. It’s YOUR name and you have to live with it. I say do what you want. ^_^

I just got married two weeks ago, and I am in the middle of the long journey of changing my name! I am a true southern girl and didn’t think twice about dropping my middle name and keeping my maiden name as my middle name. My VERY southern grandmother was a little disappointed when I told her I am dropping my middle name, Louise, which is named after her! All the females on my mother’s side have the same middle name. I gave my grandmother comfort by promising to give my daughter the middle name of Louise to keep with family tradition. I just didn’t want to have four names! I think it’s best for family history and for keeping part of my identity as a Cox (especially since my father passed away 8 years ago) to keep my maiden name. Also, it’s a pet peeve of mine in the world of social media when my girl friends drop their maiden name and then I have no idea who they are on facebook! I am going to weigh in on the side of tradition here and say keep your maiden name.

This is fascinating! I am from Venezuela, but I have been living in the United States for almost 10 years. My parents gave me a first name, a middle name, and as it is customary in South America, I have two last names (the first one is my dad’s and the second one is my mom’s maiden name). I have always used all four for everything (my ID card, my passport, insurance cards, etc.) When I got married, I decided against dropping any of my names because I felt that if I dropped any of them, it was like dropping my entire family! I have no brothers or sisters, so if i had taken my husband’s name, my parents heritage would have stopped right there. However, informally (meaning not legally) I include my married name everywhere I can, so I often use five names… and yes, everyone makes fun of me all the time, and it is usually a great ice breaker when I hand out business cards. The fact is, that I am proud of all my names becuase all of them are very important for me (it goes back to my great grandparents, grandparents, parents and now my husband). My biggest concern now is, how am I going to name my children? Will they have my husbands’ last name or a combination of mine and his like it is done in South America, where I am from? Should I give them my maiden name as middle name instead? But which one, the first one or the second one? It is all very complicated, but very very exciting!

I love this discussion! As an academic and a Southern woman, there was quite a bit of debate about whether I would take my husbands last name. To echo Kat, it was very important for me to take his name and start our own family also due to the fact that I am a child of divorce and my mom (whom I’m closest to) changed her last name when she re-married. I since I have two brothers, I chose to drop by maiden name because the family name would continue without me and because my first and middle name come from both grandmothers which is very important to me. In all I’m Christin Elizabeth Huggins and love it! I totally agree that one’s name should be a reflection of her identity and what makes you feel most comfortable, even if it breaks from tradition. :)

This is really interesting! I was open to keeping either Maiden or Middle name. My dad recently told me he doesn’t care if I keep the maiden name, and we do have several males with the same name…but I feel weird leaving out the maiden name! Who knows what I will do…I’ll probably wait until the last minute to decide!

This is a very interesting topic. As a girl of the south I was always familiar with dropping your middle name, and the always present “double name” situations. I’ve decided to keep my maiden name for a reason i’m surprised i havent seen in any of the comments above! First, my middle name is seldom used, so I don’t have much of an attachment to it. Second, I’m an only child, and there’s nobody else to carry it on. Lastly, and most important to me, is that i’m known professionally as Jessica Hughes. In my industry, its important that you’re known when changing jobs, etc, so becoming just Jessica Bennett would really confuse people!

I actually kept both my middle name and my maiden name – so now I technically have 2 middle names. I felt attached to both and just didn’t feel right about dropping either one so I just kept both. :)

Hi, im glad somebody feels the same way I did two years ago. I dropped my maiden name and kept my middle name. I not only love my middle name but actually childhood friends known me by it. It’s part of my identity. Ill always be part of my family but dropping my middle made me feel if that part of me would just be gone. I’m glad my family understood and never questioned my decision :)

I kept my maiden name. Once you get married you are now in a family with your husband but I think keeping your maiden is a nice way to respect your parents and all they have done for you.

I’m just a teenager, but I love to read wedding blogs. I’m sure I’m not the only one! ;)

Anyway, I’ve lived all over the place – South Dakota, New York, Georgia, and more than a couple foreign countries. I don’t know much about those countries’ traditions, but I’ve seen a pretty even balance between keeping the middle name and keeping the maiden name. My mom and most of my relatives, as well as most of the people I knew in New York, dropped the maiden name. As a kid I thought that was the norm. Then when we moved to Georgia I learned how common it is to drop the middle name.

Personally, as the only girl in my family, I’m not all that attached to my maiden name. My middle name (Rachelle) is unique and beautiful and is actually a combination of my mother’s name (which my dad wanted to use) and Rachel, which my mom wanted. So, when I started blogging and writing, I used my middle name instead of my last, because (a) I like it better, and (b) I wanted to build name/brand recognition, but I also knew I’d be taking my husband’s last name when I got married. (Since then I’ve learned how common it is to just not change your name, but I never liked that idea anyway.)

My fiance and I just talked about this the other day! My middle name is Nell which has been passed down for hundreds of years, and my last name is Schweitzer, which doesn’t make a very pretty middle name, so I am definitely dropping my maiden name and keeping Nell as my middle name.

I kept my maiden name and dropped the middle. Love the information in this post! This is something I wondered about 5 years ago and couldn’t figure out what to do, so last minute I dropped the middle.

This is very interesting. I’m glad to know that I won’t be the only one dropping my maiden name in the future :). I’m way more attached to my middle name than my maiden name.

I have a unique situation with this, because my parents blessed me with two middle names! I have always loved having four names (except when monogramming), but find it hard to choose one middle name over the other. I decided a long time ago to do what my mother did, and use my maiden name in between my first & future husband’s last name. My middle names will still be very much a part of me regardless.

I hope I’m not too late to respond to this… I am from Shreveport, Louisiana and all of my family live in the south in Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana. I was never told either way by any of my family members which way to go with a name change. I was actually never spoken to about my name change at all so I’m not sure how strict of a Southern tradition it is…but I kept my middle name and lost my maiden name. I was Christyne Dalese Watson and then I became Christyne Dalese Parsons. I didn’t think Christyne Watson Parsons sounded nice or even looked like a proper name. It definitely looks like it should be hyphenated. … I just think Watson would be a lousy middle name. My parents created my middle name out of my dad’s middle name Dale and their best friend Lisa. So honestly, my middle name has more family meaning than even my last name did. I have a daughter, though, that I used my maternal grandmother’s maiden name as her middle name – so in a way – I am carrying on a maiden name tradition. Her name is Audrey Coco Parsons.

I am getting married in August, and I have decided to drop my middle name and keep my maiden name! I have a specific reason for this, however – my middle name is Mallory, which I just love so much. However, I barely get to use it and hardly associate it as part of my name (since it’s my middle name). So my fiancé and I have decided that if we are blessed with a daughter in the future, Mallory will be a part of her name! To me, that’s a much more excited thought than keeping the name to myself :)

I worked in an office along with an attractive married woman when one day, the flirty guy of the office asked what her maiden name was. You could hear a pin drop and also feel the heat of the death-ray stare she gave him.

There is a clear, unwritten, interpersonal understanding that is tightly woven in with that kind of information.

Why did he want that info? Why did she refuse to provide it?

In my opinion, he wanted it to test her commitment (to get an ‘in’) and she refused giving it to prove her commitment (and/or to reject his interest).

After experiencing that event, it seems sensible to drop the maiden name unless you are not fully committed to the lifelong relationship.

Emily, I felt the exact same as you. My middle name is a family name that my great uncle and great grandfather had – Leighton. I felt like I would always have Hale (maiden name) as a part of my identity. I could always say, “My maiden name is Hale.” But if I dropped Leighton, I would never mention that once was my middle name. There would be no reason to. However, if I had a filler middle name, such as Lee or Marie, I would probably have dropped my middle name and used my maiden name. I have never heard that it is Southern tradition to keep your maiden name, and I come from a long line of Southerners. But we are more like hillbillies than the “old money” south. So that may have something to do with it!

How would you monogram if you are a divorced mom? Would you drop your divorced name and go back to your maiden name? Example: Kayla Reese marries a man whose last name is Fletcher. But then divorces and marries a man whose last name is Lee. Would she be Kayla Reese Lee OR would she be Kayla Fletcher Lee?

I have heard of many ladies I respect doing both. In my case I go by my middle name. So my first name is more formal but family, friends, and coworkers call me Nicole even if my name on my birth certificate is Leigh Anne Nicole. However I have found that this tradition is also extremely southern. Most of my family members in fact go by their middle names and I have several friends who do as well. So as I look to changing my name I wouldn’t keep my maiden name because it would either take away my actual name or my full name would become abnoxiosly long.

Despite growing up in Charleston (and now living in Richmond, VA) I never knew it was “traditional” to keep your maiden and drop your middle name! Everyone I know just drops their maiden name. I dropped my middle name because I was Laura Ashley Pierce and my mother swears she didn’t name me after the designer/brand but Ashley was never a name I used or connected with and since I am now Laura Pierce Little, I’ve kept my maiden name and use my full name as 1) the alliteration is a bit much for me and also I think it’s nice to honor my roots as I am the last of the Pierce’s in our tree!

I got married in December and dropped my middle name and kept my maiden. I always knew I would do that- it’s what my mother did and very Southern. I also did it as a way to honor my dad-
he has 2 daughters, 3 sisters, and all girl cousins, so there is no one to carry on his last name. I feel like keeping my maiden name as my middle is sort of a way to keep the “Hillis” name going!

I had such a hard time deciding that I actually filled out my social security form both ways and decided when it was time to hand it over! I ultimately went with my maiden name as my last name. I personally think my new name doesn’t flow as well as it would have but I wanted to keep that family name. From a business perspective, using my maiden name has helped people make the connection of my pre and post married identity easier too.

This is a question I have also battled with, I knew that I would take my husbands last name my whole life but I never thought about the middle name. For me this was a difficult decision because I lost my father at a young age and as an adult I felt like my last name was a major part of him. After talking to my mom and putting a lot of thught into it, I realize my father gave me my last name, but he chose my middle name. So in May I will change my last name but the rest of my name will stay the same. As my Mom told me, everything you fill out for the rest of your life will ask for your maiden name so there is no worries if it being forgotten.

I actually chose my middle name when I was 7 (used to be Carol Ann Belk, and to make the rest of my life easier we legally combined my first and middle name to one word – I guess the name “Carol” on my first grade desk didn’t sit well with me). In need of a middle name, I chose my mom’s maiden & middle name as my new middle name. How I didn’t choose something like “Cinderella” is still a wonder to me but somehow I managed to make a logical decision. So since it wasn’t chosen by my parents and neither I nor my dad have any brothers, I’ll choose to replace my middle name with my maiden. Every situation is different depending on how attached you are to your middle name and whether you’re the only one left to continue your maiden name I think!

I was struggling with a similar issue, as I too believe stringy in southern tradition and I knew I wanted to take my husband’s name. But the problem, my name I have always gone by is a family nickname of my middle name. It simply didn’t make sense for me to drop it. Also, my mother had the same issue, in that she went by her middle name, and therefore understood the why behind my decision. This certainly made the process much easier though and made more sense. But, I say, if you take his name, do what you feel is right with what you have left if your own!

This was the biggest fight my dad and I ever got in–completely unexpectedly. I have always loved my middle name (Corling) and the last name I was taking was very similar to my maiden name. At the end of the day, it was important to my family, so I kept my maiden name and found a way to re-purpose my middle name into the name of my consulting company…which funny enough my dad was also “so-honored” that I did. (Corling was paternal-grandmother’s middle name…that she dropped when she got married as well.)

I was torn on what name to keep as well as I like them both, but I ended up keeping my middle name.

i LOVE all of my names and have struggled with this. i’ve actually gotten really upset about having to change my name (outside of the excitement of getting married)! and for that reason, i’m keeping all of my names. i didn’t ask anyone’s opinion – which sounds like it might have been for the best! :) but all my names are family names and i want to always feel like me. so there we go! but i’ll also still recognize that i have a new monogram, and for those purposes i will drop by middle name. just not legally!

I love reading all of your responses and opinions! My mother kept her middle name when she married my father because her maiden name is very German ; however, she decided to preserve the name by giving it to my brother as his middle name (Alexander Hess). My mother-in-law to be has gone by her middle name her whole life so when she got married, she actually dropped her first name, took her middle name as her first name and her maiden name as a middle name. It was an easy decision for me to keep my maiden name when I get married; my full name is Sarah Elaine Cate, but almost everyone I meet thinks Cate is my middle name and that I go by “Sarah Cate”. And I actually love going by Sarah Cate! It makes my name a little more unique and I love the Southern sound of a double name. And I just love the sound of Sarah Cate Dominick, which is what my married name will be :) All of this being said to show that every bride has a unique name and a unique reason for choosing that name, so whatever you choose to do, embrace it and rock it!

I just recently gotten married and I was debating on dropping my last name or my middle name. I am from the south and you all know how southern traditions are. After reading a lot of comments on this post I have decided to keep my middle name. My father named me and he passed 3 years ago. My name is kind of unique to me and if anyone who actually know me can easily find me on social media. My name is Knikita (pronounced Nikita, the k is silent) Tijuana and I love it. I will never part from the names my father gave me.

I decided to keep my middle name Nicole. My grandmother always loved that I had the middle name Nicole. She wanted to name my mother Sharon Nicole, but my grandfather wanted her to be Nicki Sharon. She regretted not going with the first. Since she died in a car wreck a few years ago, I feel like I keep her memory alive having the middle name Nicole.

My grandmother raised me and always said when a woman marries, her maiden name becomes her middle initial. As luck would have it, I ended up with a sister in law also named Robin and it wreaked havoc with utilities and confusion at the post office even though we had different middle initials. When I divorced, I resumed my maiden name and middle initial (Carole).

I kept my original middle name and added my unmarried name as a second middle name when I got married. It took 5 months to get around to legally changing it, but I’ve had it that way since, even post-divorce. Seems fine to me. :)

I’m getting married in 3 weeks (!) and have battled with this for awhile. Like some of y’all said, my middle name is for my maternal grandmother (who passed away), but as an only child and from a family with only granddaughters, I don’t want my maiden name to end.

Those of you with 4 names, did you have any trouble fitting all of your names on your drivers license or SS card? If so how did you choose? Plus, my married name is going to be a long Italian name, so I’m worried about the length. And since my new name starts with the same letter as my maiden name, I think I’d lean towards making my maiden name my “legal” middle name if I had to choose; I’d love new initials ;-) Rachel Elizabeth Singer Sanguinito is quite a mouthful!

My name was Barbara Carol but I have always gone by my middle name Carol so when I got married I dropped the name I did not use and changed to Carol, then maiden name, and then new married name.

I’m currently in the struggle to keep or drop my maiden name. Is it acceptable to list your original middle name and your maiden name as the new middle name? Example: Terri Eleanor Hodge becomes Terri Eleanor Hodge Malloy, with Eleanor Hodge listed as the middle name?