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Longtime readers know that we very rarely feature guest posts, since we prefer to talk to y’all directly! But when I read this post from our friend T.J. Mousetis a few months ago, it resonated with me deeply – probably because I couldn’t agree with him more! He graciously agreed to let me share here, and I hope his words will inspire you, too! – Emily

Brooke and I go on 3-5 walks a week. Our loops vary in distance and time; we choose one depending on the day. Our longest loop is about five miles and our shortest is around a mile. While walking, my amazing wife and I will talk about EVERYTHING.

We walk and talk, talk and walk. I wasn’t a big walker before I got married. I never saw a point of going on a walk unless it was utilitarian in nature. If I was walking to get a candy bar then it was TOTALLY worth it, but a walk to just walk – no thanks.

Then Brooke and I started going on them and I realized that something was happening as we walked together. First, I noticed that we were off our phones and away from screens so there weren’t any distractions. A distraction-free environment with someone is becoming more and more difficult in our society. Then, I noticed that our walks became about more than just chit chat. Our walks became a safe place for us to vent about frustrations in our life, dream about things we never said out loud, and open up about our struggles. Our walks became precious to us, and the more we go on them the more we open up and talk to each other. And the more we talk to each other, the stronger our marriage has become!

I sometimes feel like marriages fall in the crapper because of the “schedule” they get stuck in.

The schedule usually looks something like this: get up, go to work, come home from work, eat dinner, work on something else, watch TV, go to bed. Repeat five days a week.

There are times in that schedule to talk, but they are either rushed or full of distractions. I’ve found that a simple walk eliminates all of that and gives you the ability to be a little more open, a little more real, and a little more honest. The longer you spend distraction-free with your spouse, the more likely you are to get to a real issue, problem, or idea.

Last night, Brooke read something online that really frustrated her and was feeling “swirly.” Feeling swirly is the worst. It can really only be described by this emoji: ?. So, I got June ready, and we went on a walk. As we walked, she begin to express why what she read got to her, and by the time we got home, she was totally over it. Surprisingly, on the walk I didn’t do much talking about the issue and just tried to listen, which is really hard for me. I LOVE TALKING! But, Brooke just needed to talk, and if we stayed home, she probably wouldn’t have gotten to the truth of the issue that she needed to get to. That would have lead to a whole night of swirliness, and that is THE WORST!

Sometimes we expect really profound things to change our marriages. We look for the Hail Mary when working the ball slowly up the field will do. A walk is just that. It isn’t glamorous, but it works. It provides a distraction-free space to be open, honest, and real. Isn’t that what we wanted when we got married? Someone to be open, honest, and real with? Let’s start giving ourselves the space to do that, and let’s start with a few more walks!

T.J. Mousetis is the owner of Walk in Love. You can follow along with him on his blog and on Instagram! Big hugs to Caroline Ro for these engagement photos (which are not actually of T.J. and Brooke, though they are lovely :)) See more on our Facebook!

emily Written with love by Emily
4 Comments
  1. avatar Nicole reply

    I LOVE this! Some studies suggest that physical activity like walking makes people more likely to share things they otherwise wouldn’t have :)

  2. avatar Tricia reply

    I love this article! Taylor and I take our dogs on walks about 3-5 days a week as well, depending on the weather and how our days go. We often take the dogs to the beach on Saturday mornings right as the sun comes up so it’s even more peaceful, and this is where some of our greatest conversations take place.
    PS* – we love that our pictures are featured here! That day was another “walk on the beach” and thankfully, Caroline Ro made it so easy to be ourselves and enjoy the session.

  3. avatar Sally K reply

    Who is that adorable couple?

  4. avatar Two Year Anniversary Reflections – Fairly Southern reply

    […] We’ve found this to be true in our relationship and do it several times a […]

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There are few things more Southern than a community coming together, which is one of the many reasons Erica and Daniel’s wedding was so magical! Their family and friends helped with everything from offering up their gorgeous property as a venue, to building and crafting reception details, to bartending and cutting the cake on the night-of. Getting married at a private residence is no easy feat, but with all hands on deck, Shiloh Farms certainly turned into the perfect home for this joyful celebration. Erica and Daniel also went out of their way to get to know their vendors on a personal level, so even the folks who started out as strangers became part of the community that made this day extra special!

Many thanks to our Blue Ribbon Vendor Anna Shackleford for sharing this day with us!

Tell us about finding your wedding dress. I went to my first appointment at Affordable Bridal, Inc. in Buford, Georgia. I had heard great things about the shop from friends who bought their dresses there. I arrived to my appointment with my mother, sister, and maid of honor, and was instantly greeted by two smiling women who respected my budget and went straight to picking out dresses in the style I had in mind. I tried on about ten dresses before finding the one. Once I put on that beautiful, lace, fit and flare gown with cap sleeves and a keyhole back, I knew it was going to be the dress that I married Daniel in, and so did the rest of the women there. Just when I didn’t think it couldn’t get any better, the stylist placed a cathedral veil on my head and I was done for. Not to mention, I was able to buy the dress off the rack and at an additional 15 percent off. It was the perfect dress, and I will never forget how beautiful it made me feel!

We decided to do a first look and I am so happy we did. We knew that with a wedding party and guest list as big as ours, we wouldn’t have that much alone time. Having a first look gave us an opportunity to enjoy each other, check each other out in our wedding attire, cry, laugh, and pray. We even took that time to read letters that we had written to each other. Afterwards, we washed each other’s feet as a sign of humbling ourselves before the other, serving one another for a lifetime, and loving each other just like Christ loves His church. It was the most intimate moment. The first look did not take away the anticipation of me walking down the aisle to Daniel. In fact, we think it made it that much better.

What made you choose your ceremony and reception venues? Did they have any special significance to you? We chose to have our wedding at Shiloh Farms, the property of our dear friends who are like family to us. I stayed at the farm when I would visit Daniel over the course of our long-distance relationship. It is special to us because it is truly where our romance developed, as well as where Daniel proposed. We dreamed of having a wedding there and are blessed to have shared this simple, yet magical place with our family and friends.

Music is so important to Daniel and I. Daniel plays the guitar, bass, and piano, and he performs in the worship team at our church. I wouldn’t say I’m a professional, but I am a fan of musicians (obviously) and I love going to concerts. We knew that music had to be a key element in our wedding. Our friends and members of the worship team at our church sang during the ceremony while the bridal party walked down the aisle and during the communion. Here are the songs: “Take My Heart” by Emily Hackett feat. Will Anderson (Daniel’s song walking down), “Fall Afresh” by Bethel (bridesmaid and bridal processional), “Nothing But the Blood of Jesus” by All Sons and Daughters (communion), and “Brand New” by Ben Rector (recessional).

Our favorite detail of the wedding was the cedarwood bar my dad handmade for the reception. He worked so hard on it for two and a half months. He will tell you that it was one of his favorite projects, and it was definitely a hit at the reception! He loved showing it off, and our guests loved hanging around it to enjoy drinks and conversation. It was such a special gift, and we now proudly display it on our backyard patio.

What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? Daniel’s family is extremely talented and his sisters helped by making our wedding signs that were displayed during the ceremony and reception, as well as creating a design for each welcome bag that went to our guests staying at hotels. We created a DIY photo booth by borrowing furniture and picture frames. We asked friends to bartend during the reception and had two ladies offer to cut our cake so we didn’t have to pay a cake cutting fee. We decided not to have wedding favors to reduce the cost.

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. When people ask how we met, we usually keep things simple and say “at a wedding,” but here is the real story. Daniel and I attended a wedding of mutual friends, separately. He saw me sitting at a table alone “in a red dress” (he likes to add), and due to unforeseen circumstances, we never actually talked at the wedding. However, Daniel found out who I was through a mutual friend and added me on Facebook later that night. Two weeks later, Daniel messaged me saying that he saw me at the wedding, and was wondering if he could get to know me over coffee. One thing led to another and Daniel made the grueling trek from Valdosta, Georgia to Atlanta, where we talked over coffee for three hours. On Labor Day, he drove up again for our first “real” date, where we went hiking, ate our favorite Italian food, and went to the movies. After that, I found myself making the trip down to Valdosta to visit Daniel for the first time. It was then when Daniel told me that he wanted to pursue me with the intentions of marriage. Since then, we have embarked on a whirlwind romance full of new adventures that ultimately led to me moving down to Valdosta to be with him. Our friends and family would agree that the crazy way our relationship has come about is truly God’s work at hand. We are full of immeasurable joy as we embrace this new chapter as husband and wife!
Tell us all about the proposal! On Labor Day, one year from when we went on our first date, we were at one of our favorite restaurants in town when Daniel mentioned that our friends, the owners of Shiloh Farms, wanted us to come see them. I was less inclined to go because I had to work the next day and needed to go to the grocery store. Daniel insisted that we go, saying we needed to pick up my kayak, which was at the farm. On the drive there, I was looking on social media, and at least three people I knew had gotten engaged. I kept going on and on about it and joked with Daniel that he would probably propose with a ring hiding in food since he loves food so much. We pulled up to the front of the house and I noticed flower arrangements sitting in their gazebo. I didn’t think twice about it and started to walk inside the house. Daniel grabbed my hand and said we should go check out the flowers. When we walked inside the gazebo, I noticed that there were rose petals on the ground. I felt Daniel take a step back, and when I looked to see what he was doing, I saw tears in his eyes…and that’s when I knew. Daniel got down on one knee and popped the question. My jaw dropped and I went through a process of being speechless and in shock to saying, “oh my gosh” and “is this real,” to finally saying “YES!” Afterwards, he turned and pointed back at the house to where his sister, Ashley, was hanging out of the second story window taking pictures of the whole thing. We literally could not stop smiling, freaking out, hugging, kissing, and laughing. It was the best, most surreal moment of pure joy and happiness.
When did y’all get married? April 23, 2016
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 300
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? We decided not to write our own vows. We kept it traditional and we both found that they were just as powerful. We both had tears in our eyes, and I could hardly keep it together as he said, “For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? Daniel’s sister, Alison, read Ephesians 5:22-31. Daniel and I found this scripture to be so vital during our marriage counseling and we wanted to incorporate it into our ceremony.
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? The biggest challenge we faced was adjusting the menu to feed 300 guests while staying within our budget. We went back and forth with our caterer so many times because of our guest list grew weekly. Thankfully, she was willing to work with us and did everything she could to give us want we wanted. We paid a little more than we had originally planned for, but it all worked out in the end and the food was a hit.
If you are comfortable responding, what range did your wedding budget fall into? $10,000-$25,000
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? It takes a lot of time to plan a wedding on your own, especially at a private venue. If you have the money, I would suggest hiring a planner and selecting a venue that takes care of everything. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing about our wedding, but it just caused a lot of unnecessary stress. To the brides, be sure to include your groom in the planning. They may want something special that you wouldn’t have originally thought of. To the grooms, know that the special woman you are about to marry has probably dreamed of this day for a long time. Respect her during the stressful times and be there to listen and offer encouragement when she needs it. To the couple, understand that this is just one day. It is a very special day, but it goes by so fast. Enjoy the planning, but take time to go on dates and eliminate wedding talk.
What’s next for you as a couple? What memories are you looking forward to making together? Daniel and I are excited to be buying our first home together. I work as a nurse on night shift and he works as a general contractor, so with our crazy schedules, we are looking forward to a time of rest and enjoying each other in our home with our two dogs, Maddie and Cooper. We are looking forward to seeing what God has in store for us during our marriage, getting involved in ministry, being successful with our jobs, creating life-giving relationships with family and friends, and traveling to new places.

Photographer: Anna Shackleford | Videographer: Lucas Hicks Video and Photography | Planner: Jamie Lea Shiver | Venue: Shiloh Farms | Florist: Hilary Colyer | Cake Baker: Pam Vickers | Caterer: Covington’s Dining and Catering | Rentals and Lighting: International Tent Inc. and Shindig | Decor: The Squirrel’s Nest | DJ: Tom Hochschild | Champagne Glasses and Cake Cutting Set: Oriental Trading Company | Paper Products: Shutterfly, Etsy, and Staples | Bride’s Gown: “Bronwyn” by Maggie Sottero | Bride’s Hairpiece and Veil: Affordable Bridal, Inc. | Bride’s Earrings: Steel’s Jewelry | Hair Stylist: Anna Beth Purvis | Makeup Artist: Claire Rice | Bride’s Shoes and Groomsmen Attire: JCPenney | Bridesmaids’ Dresses: The Dessy Group | Groom’s Attire: Nordstrom | Officiant: Brinson Barker | Acoustics: Event Point

Anna Shackleford is a delightful member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

lisa Written with love by Lisa
1 Comment
  1. avatar Elisabeth reply

    I really love these bridesmaids dresses. Can anyone tell me what specific color or collection they’re from?

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Many brides know from the beginning that a planner is one of their wedding essentials. Whether due to guest count, complex decor plans or family dynamics, a demanding job or travel schedule, or simply a desire to have the bandwidth to focus on their relationship throughout a yearlong engagement, the reasons for engaging a planner are many and valid! If you fall into that category, you might still be wondering whether full service or partial planning is right for you. Or, if you’re not convinced, you might be wondering if a planner, even for the month-of, can be justified at all! (Spoiler alert: read through almost every one of our real wedding interviews and you’ll have your answer! :))

We’ve asked our friend Sarah from Make It Posh to send over a few questions to ask yourself as you’re deciding which type of wedding planner is right for you. And, just to lighten things up, we’ve sprinkled throughout a few of our favorite photos from a recent editorial Sarah worked on!

1. Are you easily stressed?
Planning a wedding can be very emotional, and one of the biggest emotions you feel will be stress. If you are an easily stressed gal, then wedding planning can be paralyzing. So many clients tell me that they started having nightmares during the planning stage. A full-service planner in particular can help alleviate that stress by guiding you through the entire process. She will be your advocate and your biggest supporter.

2. How organized are you?
This is going to blow your mind… ready?! It takes roughly 450 hours to plan a wedding. That is 37.5 hours a month if you have a year-long engagement, or about 10 hours per week. Add that to your 40-hour work week, hobbies, date nights (because you have to have those to keep from going wedding crazy!), school (many of our brides are pursuing their Masters degrees, taking the bar, or prepping for their MCats while they are engaged), and you’ll quickly become overwhelmed. I equate being a wedding planner/coordinator to being a project manager and implementations specialist. Each wedding has a project scope, budget, and deadline that needs to be strictly adhered to. Not only does that take exceptional planning skills, but you need to be extremely organized as well, or things will inevitably fall through the cracks. If you struggle with organization, task management, and/or time management in your personal or professional life, you’ll struggle with it during wedding planning, too.

3. Do you think that you and your mom will disagree on the planning?
Getting help from friends and family is fantastic, as long as you are seeing eye to eye. If not, better to get help from someone who is impartial and unbiased. Moms, sisters, friends, and coworkers may want to chime in at any given opportunity, which can derail even the most diligent planner, because it will cause you to second guess yourself. Many parents have a hard time understanding new trends and etiquette, as well as reconciling the costs of events. My wedding was eight times what my parents paid for their wedding, and boy, was that a hard pill for them to swallow. I spent so much time defending my decisions, explaining the whys and hows, and trying to get them on board. I can relate when my clients have the same problem. I see it from both points of view. A wedding planner you work with from the get-go can help you bridge the gap and give you some insight as to what compromises you can make without affecting the design of the event.

4. What is your motivation for hiring a planner?
Are you only looking for help with logistics or do you think you might want some guidance or opinions on the planning aspect, too? I tell my clients that full-service planning is for folks who want or need a lot of help, advice, and guidance. Partial planning is great for clients who already know what they want for design, have an interest in planning, and genuinely enjoy the process, but still need some guidance and are more comfortable with frequent face-to-face time. Day-of coordination is a good fit when the client has the ability and confidence to plan everything, and fill a planner in on all the details about a month out from the event. At that point, you just need someone to swoop in, tie up loose ends, and take over the communication with your vendors.

5. Do you have a lot of vendors in mind already?
One of the best things about having a full-service planner is the resources she can provide. It’s much easier to choose vendors when you have a narrower field of trusted options, and a planner can match you with a vendor based on budget, style, and the experience that you’re looking for. Best of all, they will likely have good relationships with the vendors they recommend. Creating a “dream team” of vendors is key to helping your event run smoothly!

6. What stage are you at in the planning process?
If you have already booked your vendors and are well into planning, day-of coordination may be all that you need. If you have already booked vendors and now need some help figuring out what comes next, then partial planning is a perfect option for you.

7. What is the vision for your wedding?
Do you plan on a very simple celebration or do you have aspirations of a grand affair? The grander the decor and design of the wedding, the more planning required. Additionally, if you have a plethora of items that you want to hand craft or source for your wedding, then you will likely want help sooner or later with executing those projects and putting them into play on the big day. Gathering the perfect details, of course, is time-consuming and often expensive. Working with a planner who already has a collection of beautiful items can cut down on both time and expense.

8. How large is your wedding?
The larger the celebration, the more moving parts. More guests equates to more everything: tables, food, linens, centerpiece, staff… As a rule of thumb, any event with over 150 guests needs, at the very least, a partial planner.

9. Are you getting married near the place where you live now?
If you live more than an hour away from your venue, you’ll need to account for that extra travel time when you meet with vendors. And when you’ll already need your PTO for engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette excursions, and your wedding week, taking time off work to meet with vendors can quickly burn through any extra accrued vacation. Having a coordinator to help manage those meetings will be a Godsend!

10. How budget conscious are you?
If the answer is “very,” your first impulse might be to look for a day-of coordinator because of the lower cost. However,a partial or full-service planner can often save you the cost of their services thanks to their industry knowledge and relationships. For example: two vendors have very similar styles and packages. One is well-established and well-known. They other is very talented, but still adding to his portfolio. Both are exceptionally talented, artistic, and amazing to work with. There is, however nearly a $3,000 difference in pricing. That savings is HUGE for your budget, but you aren’t likely to find the newer vendor on your own. Or, if you do find a newer vendor whose work you love, you might not be able to get a great read on their level of professionalism from an initial interview. Wedding planners spend a lot of time networking, developing relationships, and getting to know people before providing them as a referral. The vendors your planner will recommend are vetted and responsible.

Big hugs to our friend Sarah of Make It Posh for shedding some light on choosing a wedding planner! For those still looking for the perfect planner, Sarah is based in Richmond, Virginia but works throughout Charleston, Hilton Head, and Savannah, as well. Before you go, take a peek at this short video by The Herrintons from the above inspiration shoot – so fun to see everyone in action!

Planning: Make it Posh | Photography: Annamarie Akins | Videography: The Herrintons | Venue: Seven Springs | Mobile bar: The Cozy Caravan | Classic car: First Class Limo | Bakery: The Mixing Bowl | Vintage rentals: Paisley & Jade | Linens and rentals: Classic Party Rentals | Hair and makeup: Lou Stevens Glam Squad | Wedding dresses: Annalise Bridal Boutique | Bridesmaid dresses: Bella Bridesmaid | Menswear: Tiffanys Bridal | Bow ties: Bows-n-Ties | Watercolor artist: Laura Ray | Flowers: Mona Ray | Stationery and printing: Love Laced Designs | Live portrait artist: Wyatt Ramsey | Laser cut signs: Laura Hooper Calligraphy | Band: Forest Hill/Shack Band via East Coast Entertainment | Catering: Butler’s Unique Catering

Make It Posh is a Southern Weddings sponsor. Paisley & Jade and East Coast Entertainment are Blue Ribbon Vendors. Thank you for your support of the brands who make Southern Weddings possible!

emily Written with love by Emily
4 Comments
  1. avatar Amber Anderson reply

    Love all of this and will be sharing away! My one piece of feedback is that the term “day of” coordination needs to die a hard and fast death.

    We are event managers and it takes far more than showing up and executing what a bride has planned. At a minimum, it needs to be called ‘month of’ to avoid confusing brides that then ask planners for discounts if they shave things down to ‘just day of’. It’s not possible to shave it down and expect streamline.

    Thanks for this great piece of education for those on the fence!

  2. avatar Lauren reply

    Did Laura Ray do the No Paparazzi print? I would love to have it for my wedding!

  3. avatar Greg Coltman reply

    Lovely set of images. Gorgeous lighting!

  4. avatar Dear Monday | Virginia Wedding Videography reply

    […] Southern Weddings, Last week you shared one of our favorite films to date that we pulled together for a styled shoot dreamt up by the amazing Sarah from Make it Posh […]

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