Google+ southern wedding advice Archives - Page 4 of 5 - Southern Weddings

Southern Weddings

Tag: southern wedding advice

Good afternoon, dears! Disclaimer, this post was crafted in my pjs during the Southern Weddings slumber party this week before a fun-filled Team Shoot day. Marissa and I spent the evening giggling over her big news and chatting about how we communicate best with our spouses, which was a perfect preparation for today’s marriage hint topic. We have already tackled hint no. 1 – Making Laughter Happen – and today we are moving into a topic that is near and dear to my heart: Using Your Words.

We use words every single day and we know all too well that they have the ability to build you up when used properly and cause troubles when used ineffectively. When navigating the newlywed waters (oh heavens – when navigating any relationship), words must be used intentionally and carefully. For Kyle and I, this means a couple of different things. We try really hard to be intentional about what we say. We also try to be thoughtful, and provide constructive feedback to one another. Better yet – we try communicating purposefully, proactively, and practically. Sounds fancy, but it’s really not!

Kyle and I try very hard to purposefully communicate our affection and love for one other through a variety of channels: a simple ‘love you’ text message in the middle of the day, a note tucked in a work bag, or – my personal favorite – “I Love You” written in dry erase marker on the bathroom mirror. We all need reminders, especially once our relationships move past the initial heady phase. Say it aloud, write it down, get creative. For those of you just on the doorsteps of getting married, I encourage you to put this into practice as you are making your final wedding preparations. Don’t lose sight of why you are getting married. You are getting married because you LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Remind each other regularly. Be purposeful. You too, married folks :)

The simple act of proactive communication can head off so much confusion and hurt feelings before they happen. Imagine you had a pretty rotten day at work. Instead of trudging through the house with a big sigh, a door slam, and an impolite comment, call your significant other on your way home and say, “Honey, mercy! I’ve had an awful day. I’m ready to be home, hug you, sit down, and do nothing.” This little bit of a heads-up will allow your other half to adjust and be better prepared to communicate with you when you get home. AND they might even meet you at the front door with a carton of your favorite ice cream and the takeout pizza menu :)

All photos by Erin Lindsay Images. See more from this engagement session in our Facebook Friday series!

Your spouse is not a mind reader. Being thoughtful but politely direct and practical can be a powerful tool to reduce frustration while helping to make things happen. For example, if you want help with the dishes after supper, I promise that asking for help is far more effective than letting the dishes pile up for a few days or begrudgingly washing the dishes by yourself while muttering under your breath.

Remember, the point of this list is to help you toward or encourage you in a fulfilling relationship. None of us are ever going to be perfect – these things are HARD. As y’all know, I 100% believe that good marriage can change the world and I hope you are up for the challenge. Now, go tell your favorite sweetie that you love them!!

How do you navigate the communication channels of a relationship? Have a tip to share that’s worked for you? Share your thoughts below!

P.S. Don’t miss the introduction to hints for a happy marriage!

Erin Lindsay Images is a delightful member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

kristin Written with love by Kristin
  1. avatar Florida wedding inspiration- Advice on recipes, fashion, style, and events! reply

    […] beautiful engagement session you see above was captured by the talented  Erin Lindsay Images on Southern Weddings Hints for a Happy Marriage Use Your Words Post! So be sure so head on over there to see the rest of this engagement session and don’t forget […]

  2. avatar Emily reply

    Love this, Kristin! I think my best tip for communication is one I learned from my dad when I was much younger: “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” If I know I’m in a foul mood or getting heated about something, instead of snapping, I try to gather my last shred of composure and say, “I think I need to be alone right now.” Not ideal, but much better than saying something I’d later regret.

    • avatar Kristin reply

      Em! I couldn’t agree more with this advice. I can be guilty of muttering just loudly enough to be heard but not loudly enough to be clear. It is is often those things that should not be said because they fall under the ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all’ category. I think that trying to be proactive and practical with my communication reduces my falling victim to unhelpful muttering…

  3. avatar Lisa reply

    I love all of these tips, but the one about proactive communication is something I had never really thought of. Such good advice!

  4. avatar Hints for a Happy Marriage: Keep Dating « Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] the beans! Have a fun date memory? We want to hear about it! P.S. Catch up on past hints here: #1, #2, #3! P.P.S. Lovely session by Jo Photo, one of our Blue Ribbon Vendors! See more from this session […]

  5. avatar Hints for a Happy Marriage: Take a Deep Breath – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] Catch up on past hints here: #1, #2, #3, #4, and […]

  6. avatar Cold Weather Engagement Photos: Your Outfit Guide! – Wedding Party reply

    […] Photo by Erin Lindsey via Southern Weddings […]

  7. avatar Winter Engagement Inspiration – Hoopla House reply

    […] idea, especially if you’re wrapped in a handmade quilt or something that’s sentimental to you. Bundled Up Photo By: Erin […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

Reply to:

Something I love about the South is the slower way of life here that reminds me of what’s most important. The smell of the magnolia blooms and the hum of bees on my crepe myrtles makes me take a deep breath in and forget the stresses of life. Fireflies make my email inbox suddenly seem unimportant. Driving by the cow farms on the way to the grocery store takes my heart to a place where nothing matters but family, deep friendships and the simple joys all around us.

Photo by W+E Photographie via Southern Weddings

Dear brides, my wish for you today and always is that the sweetness of the South would sink into your soul as you plan for your very special important day. May you take a moment to slow down in the hustle and bustle of planning and remember what’s most important.

Photo by Green Tree Photography

So often, I see the statement, “You need ___ for your wedding.” The truth is, you don’t actually need anything at your wedding except your love and someone to marry you. The rest is up to you and what matters most to you. Favors and decorations are not obligations, but rather things you choose to celebrate your love together. You make the rules for your big day and how you want to honor your story, your family and your guests. Choose what matters most to you.

Photo by Adam Barnes via Southern Weddings

Forget your wedding Pinterest board for a just a moment and picture you and your love 50 years from now, enjoying a Southern sunset together, sharing a glass of cold sweet tea. What will you want to remember most about your wedding? What will matter then? You will remember the things that truly came from your heart. The flowers and favors and cake take on a whole new meaning when they are truly a reflection of your two hearts becoming one.

Photo by Jamie Clayton via Southern Weddings

Give your hearts a break from planning this week and drink in the summer sun. There are so many things in the South that can help to remind you of the simple joys in life. Our Southern #SummerDoin list is a great place to start! Tell me — what simple joys do you love about the South? I’d love to hear from you. One lucky commenter will get a Love Notes Notepad from the Southern Weddings Shop!

CONGRATS to the winner from my last post, Dana! Dana, please email Lisa and she’ll get your South print to you right away!

Adam Barnes is a delightful member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

lara Written with love by Lara Casey
  1. avatar May reply

    I absolutely love this post and couldn’t agree more! It is the perfect reminder for every bride!

  2. avatar Patti reply

    I love LOVE sitting on my best friend’s porch looking out over the Gulf watching the birds dive for fish and the mullets jump in the water with all our grown kids there, just “visiting” – talking about old times, old friends, new experiences and catching up – without cell phones or Ipads on our laps. We always tell the same old stories again but nobody seems to care and there’s a lot of laughter.

  3. avatar Jessica S. reply

    Nothing makes me believe more in the fact that God is pursuing my heart than the smell of Spring in the South. I absolutely love walking outside on those first days of Spring and feeling my whole body smile at the smell of flowers and trees blooming!

  4. avatar Ashley McGee reply

    I love that when I came home from work too tired to fix supper yesterday, my husband was perfectly satisfied eating pimento cheese sandiches with mason jars of cheerwine while we “unplugged” and watched a late afternoon shower roll in from our front porch. And it definitely doesnt hurt that Charleston is where we’re blessed enough to call home.

  5. avatar sarah reply

    the gulf coast. i love being on the water– its so simple, yet so magnificent– calming & energizing all at the same time.

  6. avatar Lucy Taylor reply

    I love this post! Can’t wait to share it with all of my brides as a dear reminder to focus on what matters most on their wedding day! Thank you Lara!

    I love front porch swinging. It allows you to slow down and meet your neighbors and really form lasting relationships with those around you.

  7. avatar Lauren reply

    Amen, Lara!

  8. avatar Anna reply

    i love lingering over meals with family and friends

  9. avatar Brittany Carr reply

    I read this post right after a stressful meeting with a caterer for my wedding – could not have asked for more perfect timing! Thanks for the much, much needed reminder.

    I love the unspoken hospitality of the South – everyone says “ma’am” and “sir”, men hold the door open for women, etc. It’s a feeling of respect that just makes you feel at home, instantly.

    • avatar Lara reply

      My pleasure! It’s so easy to get stressed with the details. Thinking of you! : )

  10. avatar Marcie reply

    Exactly the type of weddings I want to help couples design/create!!
    LOVE THIS Lara!

  11. avatar Kristy reply

    Swinging on my grandparents porch.

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

Reply to:

Y’all, I am happier than a pig in slop to be back chatting about all things marriage. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and after 30+ years of life and 13+ months of marriage, I couldn’t agree more!! My first hint for a happy marriage rule is all about making giggles, chuckles and belly laughs happen.

Gracious me, I fully believe that life is WAY more enjoyable with a little (or a lot of) laughter. For my and Kyle’s marriage, this means two things: we try to make sure we don’t take ourselves too seriously when uncontrollable things happen, AND we purposefully ensure that we find things each day to make us laugh.

Chances are good that life WILL get a little hectic trying to juggle the day-to-day and things will inevitably slip through your fingers on occasion – a slightly crispy supper or a load of fresh ‘pink’ laundry? Being able to laugh while calling for Chinese takeout or while Googling “how to turn pink laundry white again” will diffuse a situation that you ultimately don’t have the ability to magically fix; pretty hard to un-burn the chicken casserole or take out the red sock that you didn’t see when you started the wash.

As for deliberately placing opportunities for laughter in each day – perhaps you can make plans to watch a funny TV show or movie, play a game, or check out a fun people-watching spot. We find that just sitting down and talking about our days over supper will inevitably lead to us laughing about this or that while simply having a genuine conversation. And when all else fails, I think a tickle war is a perfect laughter-inducing exercise (although this is ultimately a losing battle for me).

Happy Everything Co

Remember back when you first started dating? Or think back to that boy you liked who chased you around the playground in second grade? I am pretty sure there was a lot of snickering involved. Heavens alive, giggling is good for the soul. So I challenge you to find the laughter in your every day AND in your marriage. I’m definitely not a doctor, but I do think it’s some of the best medicine :)

Excited to hear about how y’all make laughter happen – make sure you share your ideas below!

P.S. In case you missed a hint…Introduction

kristin Written with love by Kristin
  1. avatar Emily reply

    Love this, my dear! John is brilliant at diffusing any situation, and usually he does it by pretending he’s our cats talking to me :) Yep, we’re wacky!

  2. avatar madelynne moulton reply

    Corey LOVES to hike up his pants like Steve Urkel. It gets me every time :)

  3. avatar Hints for a Happy Marriage: Put on Your Spouse's Shoes – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] outlooks – quite appropriate for this week’s hint. Thus far, we have tackled hints one and two and today we are swapping shoes!! This doesn’t mean literally trying on each other’s […]

  4. avatar Hints for a Happy Marriage: Fight Fair – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] to this series? Catch up here: Intro 1: Make Laughter Happen 2: Use Your Words 3: Put On Your Spouse’s Shoes 4: Keep Dating 5: Be Present 6: Take a Deep […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

Reply to: