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Who says you can’t eat ice cream for dinner?

Or stop and have a random dance party while making supper?

Not I! Pet names, tickles fights, and goofy sing-alongs are also encouraged in my world. After all, one of the biggest privileges of adulthood is the ability to tiptoe back to childhood at the drop of a hat. Life as a grown-up can get serious, and sometimes a jump back into the joy and simplicity of youth is just what the doctor ordered. Y’all, I think I saved the best hint for last. Think of this as the cherry on top of the “helpful hints sundae” — it’s time to Be Silly.

Be silly” essentially means be yourself without worrying about what others might think — because at our core, we’re all a little silly, right? Let your hair down and have a little fun! While I don’t have pipes like Carrie or Mariah, I don’t hesitate to belt out a power ballad while cleaning the house or making supper. My husband, meanwhile, seems pretty quiet and reserved, but don’t let that fool you — he has his own knack for making up silly songs and singing them to me on road trips or while folding the laundry.

I love laughing with Kyle. I love making a batch of cookies at 10 o’clock just because we can. I love going on mini adventures. As children, this might have looked like creek stomping in the backyard. As adults, it might mean a day trip to an area mountain trail for a hike. Being silly isn’t really about being funny, though I guarantee at some point you’ll probably be breathless from laughing. No, it’s about being transparent and vulnerable with your spouse. The day-to-day expectations of life can be exhausting. I think it is important to be intentional about making sure that things don’t tip too far on the serious scale, and that you’re never too caught up in the go-go-go of life to take a little detour down the trail of spontaneity. Surprise each other!

So the next time it rains, consider whether it’s the perfect time to go jump in some mud puddles. Or maybe it’s the perfect night to put away the chicken, pull out the Blue Bell and have sundaes for supper. Or to crank up the tunes and have a karaoke sing-off as you clean the table.

This playfulness doesn’t have to just happen behind closed doors. Go play miniature golf instead of your standard dinner and movie date night. Explore the toy aisle at Target, pick out your favorite board game, and invite some friends over to play. Take a cue from The Bachelor (Emily, Lisa, and I are all huge fans) and go fly a kite.

I’d love to hear: What other ways do you have fun and be silly with your significant other? Share them below!

For now, we’ve reached the end of my hints for a happy marriage. I hope that y’all have enjoyed this as much as we have (yes, we – because my dear husband was consulted on each and every post, since I was sharing hints from our very own marriage). Kyle and I are by no means perfect, but we do think that there is value in protecting and cultivating our marriage and having a little fun while doing so. We laugh, we go on dates, we take vacations and we fight (fair). We talk, we try to be present and create space, and we share meals and perspective. And we care – a lot.

These hints are not a one-size fits all proposition, but a gentle reminder that after your big day, there is work still to do: after all, good, strong marriages can change the world!

Sweet engagement session by Blue Ribbon Vendor Graham Terhune — see the rest in Facebook Friday!

kristin Written with love by Kristin
  1. avatar Rachel reply

    Couldn’t agree more! I thank God all the time for giving me a husband who makes me laugh and isn’t afraid to be silly :) Hooray for a happy, fun marriage!

  2. avatar Anastasia Arrigo reply

    Very nice pictures, looks very naturally, I like it very much.

  3. avatar Southern Weddings Weekly Round-Up – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] tickled pink to introduce the newest member of the Southern Weddings family! Kristin shared the eleventh (and final) hint in her Hints for a Happy Marriage series–it might be our favorite one. We love our Blue […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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Lisa already pointed out that today is the last day of October, which means that Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and Christmas is hot on its tail. Before we know it, it will be time to grab the confetti and ring in the New Year. It never fails that this time of year seems to fly by: the calendar gets crowded with commitments and celebrations, there are cookies to bake, presents to buy, people to visit, etc., etc.

In a world that rewards the go, go, go, I find myself craving space and time for Kyle and I, and even for our future children. I long for dinners eaten at our table (more on this later), date nights, and the occasional lazy Saturday morning sipping coffee in our pajamas. So, I try my hardest to hold tight to this family value by abiding by hint #6: take a deep breath (then take another).

For us, learning to say no means taking a deep breath (and then another) and purposefully creating space (also know as margin) in our household. It means looking at the calendar and carving out un-busy time and being fiercely loyal to our family first and foremost.

In doing so, we find that we have more energy and focus available to love on others, help out where needed and invest our time in what matters most. We also find that we are less likely to be grumpy, annoyed and angry at one another. I am guilty as charged for becoming too busy, which leads to being stressed, resulting in a certain blue-eyed boy falling victim to my wrath and irrational outbursts.

Sometimes in the busy, it’s easy to forget to stop and take a deep breath. It’s easy to continue to cram the schedule so full that we lose sight of what really matters. I love to say ‘yes’ to everyone: to every party invitation, request for cookies, need for a volunteer. I feel guilty saying ‘no’ because I am usually saying ‘no’ to something that is fun, helpful or needed. But, heavens alive, saying ‘no’ sometimes is outrageously important. Investing in my marriage and fighting for a little space ultimately trumps the guilt and allows us to better serve one another and our community in the long run.

Admittedly, we aren’t juggling soccer practice, ballet and play dates yet; however, we feel strongly that this hint will become even more important when fighting to keep little schedules from running our lives. Continuously overcrowded calendars does not allow you to fuel yourself or your marriage. I actually believe that being too busy does not allow you to be your best anything.

So, I encourage you to stop, take a deep breath and create some space. There’s no time like the present to sit down and look at your calendar, especially as the holidays are approaching. Having a commitment every night or being gone every weekend might sound necessary, but at what cost? Fight for space. Fight for a few nights of un-busy… and an occasional lazy Saturday in your pajamas.

P.S. Catch up on past hints here: #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5!

All photos by Bamber Photography, one of our delightful Blue Ribbon Vendors. See them all in this Facebook Friday feature!

kristin Written with love by Kristin
  1. avatar Sharon @ Red Poppy | Pink Peony reply

    Thanks for this great reminder! I’m definitely someone who needs space and quiet downtime at home in order to recharge and prepare myself for more busy-ness.

  2. avatar Emily reply

    I love this hint the most because it applies to everyone! Not just married folk. Definitely taking your words to heart going into the holiday season, thanks Kristin!

  3. avatar Hints for a Happy Marriage: Get Away – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] :) Keep in mind that planning is important for this hint, but not required. We try to proactively build in time to Get Away when we’re setting our calendars and budget for the year, but definitely count on an […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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