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Though most of us have attended several wedding ceremonies by the time we need to plan our own, the basic structure can still be confusing! I distinctly remember worrying that we’d somehow leave some important element out (like the kiss!!) just because we’d somehow overlooked it! Thankfully, our officiant was on hand to make sure everything important was included, and I’m sure yours will be, as well.

Photo by Blue Ribbon Vendor Nancy Ray from Whitney and Cory’s wedding

Depending on whether you’re getting married in a church and/or with the blessing of a certain denomination, you might have more or less latitude in designing your order of ceremony. Here, we’ve outlined the basic elements in a Christian ceremony to get your wheels turning on what might be included and where there are opportunities for customization (and so that you don’t forget anything truly important :)).

Don’t worry too much about how long or short your ceremony is – your guests love you, and if each piece of your ceremony is purposeful, they’ll see that. That being said, be sure to take your guests’ comfort into consideration – don’t make them sit outside in the sun or stand for an hour-long ceremony!

One final tip? Make sure you confirm with your officiant how you two would like to be announced for the first time: as Mr. and Mrs. John Thomas? As Mr. and Mrs. John and Emily Thomas? As John and Emily Thomas? It’s a big moment, and one you want to make sure and get just how you’d like it! :)

Looking for more ceremony tips? We’ve got a whole slew of them in our wedding planner, and I’d also recommend checking out our posts on how to write your own wedding vows and nine of our favorite romantic wedding vows for inspiration!

emily Written with love by Emily
2 Comments
  1. avatar Savannah Fannon reply

    Love it! Are there any suggestions for music in an outdoor ceremony?

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Savannah! I love that idea! We haven’t written that post yet, but I will put it on the calendar :) In the meantime, I think you can’t go wrong with live string versions of modern songs for an outdoor ceremony!

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Bride Allison shares her destination wedding at the dreamy Old Wide Awake Planation in South Carolina.

Please meet today’s darling bride, Allison! She and her beau Mike planned a beautiful Charleston celebration that was a destination wedding for both them and their families. And while planing a destination wedding (or a wedding outside of the town where you currently live!) can bring challenges. For Allison and Mike, it actually became one of their favorite things about the wedding planning process. Allison said, “We loved how many mini vacations Mike and I were able to take during the planning process. We visited Charleston 6 times in 19 months, and we had the best time each time we went.” She also recalls a trip where a canceled flight turned into road trip-adventure through a snow storm to make a few very important vendor appointments and some even more important memories. Keep scrolling to learn more about Allison and Mike, and of course, get all the heart eyes for their beautiful day!

Big hugs to Landon Jacob for sharing their South Carolina day with us!

What was your favorite detail from your wedding? In the months leading up to the wedding, I collected most of the vessels that the flowers and trinkets (koozies, programs, cards, etc.) went into from flea markets. It was a great way to add a very personal touch to the event and see my vision come to life. My florist, Fern, took my vision and ran farther than I ever thought possible with it. I was SO happy with the way the design of everything came out. Additionally, I incorporated my late grandmother’s veil as my “something old.” She was incredibly special to me, so it felt great having her with me on the day!

I started the dress search about 15 months prior to the wedding date (we had a 19 month engagement). I thought I found the dress of my dreams at my first appointment, Sarah Seven, and after learning that a trunk show where I could receive a sizable discount was occurring one month later, I knew I had to confirm my selection quickly. With that said, I went on a one-month mission to try on any dress that I was possibly interested in so that I could go back to Sarah Seven confident in my selection. Through my search, I realized that the dress I had originally loved was WAY different than anything I was drawn to at my other appointments. Heading back to the Sarah Seven trunk show, I was disappointed that I probably wouldn’t be taking advantage of the trunk show discounts. When I tried on the first dress I fell in love with, I realized it was completely wrong; luckily, thanks to the amazing Sarah Seven staff, they listened to the dresses I was loving at different designers & pulled out the most amazing dress I’d seen yet for me to try on. I knew it was my dress before even putting it on…but I did end up putting it on to confirm!

We chose to have our wedding in Charleston, SC. Mike’s family is in New York and Florida, and he went to University of Georgia, so most of his friends/family were all on the east coast. Alison’s family & friends are all in Illinois, which means that she’d been to almost every venue she would have chosen for someone else’s wedding, which didn’t feel special. Charleston was a pretty random spot as we only had 2 sets of family/friends there, but it was one of our absolute favorite cities and a place that we thought our Midwest friends and family would love to visit. Once we chose Charleston, we thought we wanted to a plantation feel, but booked appointments of a variety of venue types in the city. Old Wide Awake Plantation, which we ended up choosing, was one of the first we saw, and it became the one that we compared every other to. When we first turned onto the driveway & the house came into view, it took our breath away and we could clearly picture our perfect wedding there.

Did you decide to do a first look? Yes, we did a first look. We put so much thought and planning into the wedding of our dreams that we didn’t want to miss a single minute of it. Also, since we had a destination wedding, all of our guests were in from out of town, so we felt strongly about mingling as much as possible with everyone during our cocktail hour.

Although it was quite short (our Midwestern guests aren’t used to being out in the SC heat!), the ceremony was incredibly special to us because of who we chose to preside over it. Mike played baseball at University of Georgia and during his time there, he became quite close to the Chaplain of the team, Mr. Ray Lawrence. The day after Mike asked me what I thought about having Mr. Ray marry us, Mike woke up to an out-of-the-blue text from Mr. Ray, and we knew asking him was right.

What was your most memorable moment from your wedding day? There were SO many, but one of the most memorable was Mike and me sitting down next to each other being served our dinner when the rest of our table was released to go to the buffet. It was such a small amount of time where it was just the two of us, but it allowed us to soak all of our planning efforts and amazing friends and families who had traveled for our special day.

What was your favorite thing about wedding planning? I loved how creative I was able to be. I came up with a very clear vision of what I wanted, and I went to work finding the best vendors that could help me execute it. More importantly, I loved how many mini vacations Mike and I were able to take during the planning process. We visited Charleston 6 times in 19 months, and we had the best time each time we went. One of our favorite memories was when our flight was canceled due to a late February snowstorm, and we had such critical vendor appointments to make that we decided to rent an SUV and drive through the snow to make it. In hind-sight, not the best choice from a safety and sanity perspective, but it was such an adventure and great memory.

What was Southern about your wedding? Because most of our guests were from the Midwest, we wanted to make sure we provided a great Southern meal. For appetizers, we had sweet potato & ham biscuits, bacon-wrapped scallops, tomato pies, and mini chicken & waffles. Then for dinner we had a buffet (not at all typical in the Midwest – we normally do seated and served dinners) of shrimp and grits, peach glazed pork tenderloin, smoked chicken, fresh green beans, mashed potatoes (both sweet and normal) and biscuits with herb butter and strawberry basil jam. I still get compliments on our food with many claiming it was the best wedding food they’ve ever had. We also incorporated Southern culture with the venue itself. It had such a great history, and I made sure to include it in the program so everyone in attendance could learn what a special place it was.

I’m convinced we had the best baker in the game! We used Izzabee’s Confectioneries in Columbia, SC. I dream of the sweets table that she made for us to this day! We went with a small (basically just a personal one for Mike and me) lemon cake with strawberry cream and lemon curd icing as well as fresh whipped cream. It was a naked cake, and she combined all of that deliciousness in. For the rest of the sweets table we had homemade s’mores (the marshmallows & graham crackers were all from scratch), chocolate chip cookies with sea salt, homemade Oreos, brown butter Rice Krispie treats, mini apple, blueberry, and pecan pies, mini carrot cake and chocolate cupcakes, lemon curd & blueberry tarts, and homemade Twix tarts. INCREDIBLE! Because I knew the sweets would be such a hit, I made sure to include “Treat Bags” at the table so that guests could take some home.

Our music selections throughout the ceremony and reception were especially important to us – we started compiling a list of must-plays right after being engaged! I walked down the aisle to an acoustic version of “Then” by Brad Paisley played by a guitar player and violinist. This song was perfect for us lyrics-wise, it was a great change from the normal “Here comes the bride” and the tempo fit wonderfully. Walking back up the aisle we chose American Authors’ “Best Day of My Life” (again played on guitar & violin). This is one of our absolute favorite songs – it’s super fun, the lyrics fit perfectly, and it got the tone of the night started! To walk into our reception, we chose “This is What You Came For” by Rihanna and Calvin Harris. Being that it was a destination wedding, we thought it fit because let’s be honest, everyone comes for the party! Lastly, our first dance song was “You and Me” by Dave Matthews Band. As long as I’ve known Mike, he’s talked about having this as his first dance song, and after whittling our list down song after song (we compiled and listened to all suggestions on Friday nights while drinking wine) this one persisted. It was the PERFECT first dance song.

Tell us your love story. Mike and I met at work. Mike worked at the company’s Atlanta office and I worked out of Chicago, but our roles had us working very closely. Then once Mike was transferred up to Chicago, the connection was obvious & the rest is history!
Tell us all about the proposal! Having recently brought home our beloved English Lab, Clarke, Mike asked me to take a random Friday off work to take the pup out to one of my favorite Illinois nature parks, Starved Rock. After about an hour into the hike, at the most scenic look out point, I turned around to see Mike down on one knee with Clarke sitting at his side. It was such a surprise and just perfect. After getting back to the car and calling friends and family to exclaim the great news, Mike let me know that we were headed to a fun restaurant back in Chicago to celebrate, just the two of us. Upon arriving at the restaurant, however, Mike pulled out his second surprise of the night – he had reserved a large private room at the restaurant and ensured all friends and family were in attendance to celebrate the engagement.
When did y’all get married? October 1, 2016.
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 120.
What was the hardest part about planning your wedding? The hardest part of planning the wedding was keeping my budget in check and trying to make sure all contributing family members were appeased!
If you are comfortable responding, what range did your wedding budget fall into? $25,000-$50,000.
What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? My venue didn’t require me to use any predetermined list of vendors, so I was able to go out and find vendors that fit into my budget. I also did a lot of things on my own that many people may have paid for (created guest thank you gifts, addressed invites, paid for design of my programs, maps, etc. but printed them myself).
What advice would you give to someone currently planning a wedding? If at all possible, do what will make you and your husband happy and don’t worry about anyone else. It’s your day, and you both deserve for it to be exactly what you want it to be.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your wedding? It was the best day of my life. :)

Photographer: Landon Jacob | Planner: Jessica Rourke | Venue: Old Wide Awake Plantation | Florist:
Fern Floral & Event Design | Dessert Baker:  Izzabee’s Confectioneries | Caterer: Southern Way Catering | Rentals: Party Reflections | Lighting: Rob McKenzie | DJ: Other Brother Entertainment | Guitar Player: Gregory Guay | Paper Products: Magnificent Milestones | Bride’s Gown: “Stella” by Sarah Seven | Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist: MiKel Rumsey | Bride’s Shoes: “Romy Gold” by Jimmy Choo | Bridesmaids’ Dresses: Varied Floor Length Tulle Gowns in Graphite by Amsale | Menswear: “Traveler Suit” in Grey by Jos A Bank | Guest Transportation: Coastal Limousine of Charleston | Couple’s Getaway Car: “Caroline” 1950 Bentley Motor Car from Vintage Limousine Service

Jessica Rourke is a delightful member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
1 Comment
  1. avatar Lisa reply

    So pretty! Love the dreamy grays and that dessert table…and even though I just see a peek, I pretty much want to buy her mama’s dress and save it for 20-some years, ha!

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The when, where, and look of a wedding seem to get all the attention, but don’t overlook the impact you can make with your song selections! Have you ever heard of those couples who make a pact to start swaying together whenever they hear their first dance song, even if it’s the grocery store? I have, and they always make me smile :)

At the same time, don’t despair if you and your fiance don’t have an obvious special song choice for your first dance — many of the Southern Weddings gals didn’t, either, but you can bet the songs we chose are special to us and our husbands now! Incorporating meaningful details from your relationship so far is one of the best ways to celebrate your love story, but your wedding day is also a great opportunity to make new memories.

If you’re looking for a totally fresh idea on the song front, we love the vintage warmth of Eamon’s new single, “Be My Girl” for a fun, upbeat option! Eamon was inspired by newlywed life with his new wife to write it – so sweet! “This is the kind of song that I’ve always wanted to write,” he says, “but it’s never come out of me. I think a lot of that has to do with being newly married and having my best friend as the love of my life.”

Photo by Rebekah Senter Photography from Rose Hill Mansion Wedding by Eventi Floral and Events

We’ve asked so many real brides to share their song selections over the years, and unsurprisingly, their inspiration has run the gamut: maybe it was playing during a pivotal moment in their relationship, it was popular when they were falling in love, or it’s the song they love to sing along to together most often.

Still others have chosen a new song they’ve fallen in love with specifically for their first dance to cement that memory in their minds (in that case, “Be My Girl” would be a perfect pick!). I also love the idea of borrowing a traditional song from your parents’ or grandparents’ first dances!


Photo by The Ganeys from Colorful New Year’s Eve Wedding by Ashton Events

Thanks to the great responses on this #SWFrontPorch post and a little brainstorming from our team, we put together this Spotify playlist for you to sashay around the kitchen to as you try out options with your beau! Here’s a cheat sheet of the tunes in store:

I’d love to hear: What first dance song are you leaning toward, or did you choose? I went with “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin (a classic choice for our seaside wedding!), but “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz was a close second!

This post is sponsored by Red Music. Thank you for your support of the brands who make Southern Weddings possible!

emily Written with love by Emily
7 Comments
  1. avatar Kyla Fetzner reply

    Dillon and I chose ‘The Wedding Song’ by Matt Maher… The words were everything to us and our story!

  2. avatar Jessica Allendorf reply

    My husband Tucker (best friend of 26 years) picked me up from my college the first weekend of freshmen year (his sophomore year) and brought me up to his alma mater Clemson. Riding in the truck, windows down, he played Groovin’ Slowly by John Butler Trio. We’ve been dancing to that song for 8 years now, including our first dance 2 months ago today! 5/27/17

  3. avatar Lisa reply

    “She’s Like Texas” would be a PRECIOUS first dance song!!

  4. avatar Lauren reply

    We are going to dance to “I Cross My Heart” by George Strait for our first dance. We love George and we dance to that song in our living room all the time.

  5. avatar Meghann Richardson reply

    We actually chose “I Don’t Dance” by Lee Brice. My husband does not like to be the center of attention, but chose to dance in front of 200 because he knew it was important to me. I smile every time it comes on the radio.

  6. avatar Morgan Cox reply

    We danced to “In Case You Didn’t Know” by Brett Young… it said everything that we want to say to each other!

  7. avatar Brooke Foley reply

    My husband and I danced to From the ground up by Dan and Shay. It was absolutely perfect! We loved how it incorporated wedding vows and spoke of not only the hard work marriage takes but also the heritage and legacy it builds!

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