Welcome back to Southern Etiquette! To recap, my first column addressed a contentious issue which y’all responded quite passionately to: wearing white to a wedding. The consensus seemed to be that it was stylish to dress your bridal party in shades of white and cream, but that to be safe, it was better to steer clear of white clothing as a guest. Check out the debate here.
But on to our next topic: the engagement party guest list. My older sister recently got engaged (YAY!). As I’m sure you can guess, this is VERY exciting to me. She and her now-fiance are planning an August 2010 wedding on the coast of Maine. They live in the Midwest; my family lives on the East Coast; and his family lives on the West Coast. K+C will be heading East for the Christmas holidays, and my parents are thinking of throwing them an engagement party. Lots of our family friends are eager to see and congratulate them, and (as my Mom says) the house will already be dressed for Christmas, so why not?
(Images from Erin + Patrick’s rehearsal dinner (see more here!), photographed by Laura Negri Childers. And no, my house does not look that cool.)
The only problem? Not everyone invited to this supposed engagement party will be invited to the wedding, because K+C are planning a relatively small shindig (on an island, remember?). Emily Post says in no uncertain terms that this is not okay:
“Generally the guest list is limited to the couple’s relatives and good friends. It can be as short or as lengthy as you want — and can comfortably accommodate. However, it’s poor taste to invite anyone to an engagement party who will not be on the wedding guest list.”
I certainly don’t want to be thought of as having poor taste, but it seems to me that maybe this isn’t as big of a deal as Ms. Post seems to think it is?
So, dear readers, help a girl out. (Well, really you’re helping a girl’s Mom out. Hi, Mom!) What do you think? Would it be an etiquette faux pas to invite those to an engagement party that aren’t invited to the wedding? Sound off below!
Images in header c/o Millie Holloman