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Emily Plans a Wedding: Groom Style

by in Expert Advice, Fashion and Style, Main, SW Weddings on

Hi ladies + gents! It seems like almost as soon as I finish writing one “Emily Plans a Wedding” post, the next one is on my doorstep (even though they’re scheduled two weeks apart – yikes!). Time marches on, does it not?

Yesterday, I was SO excited to skip out on work early to drive out to Nitsa’s in Winston-Salem and try on my dress for my first fitting!! My Mom was able to come, even though she lives in Connecticut, and we had a great time together. I still love my dress (whew!), it fit well (double whew!), and the only alterations that are needed are a hem, a (13-point!) bustle, and cups (of course).

BUT we’re actually not talking about my wedding fashion today, we’re talking about John’s! John will be wearing a tux, a decision he made on his own but that I was perfectly amenable to. I think he looks handsome in anything, but I would concede that he looks particularly debonair in a tuxedo, as do most gents.

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A Bryan Photo

As soon as we knew he would be wearing a tuxedo, we knew we would be buying, and not renting. There were a few reasons for this:

1. He has to wear a tuxedo for two weddings this summer, and likely more in the future, so it made sense for us financially.
2. A great fit was very important to us, and you can’t tailor a rental. Grooms in baggy tuxedo pants make me sad!
3. We had a specific style of tuxedo in mind, and we didn’t think we’d find it at a rental shop.

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Ashley McCormick via Southern Weddings

As I mentioned, we had a specific tuxedo aesthetic we were going for, and it was largely based off of two things: the J.Crew tuxedo (which is very sharp, but very expensive), and this handy New York Times graphic which has been floating around Pinterest.

Our first choice was in the lapel style. There are three options: shawl, peak, and notch. Shawl is the most old-school, while notch is more understated and business-like. We went for peak.

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Top two images are shawl collar tuxedos from Katharine’s wedding by A Bryan Photo. Below, on the left is a peak lapel (photo by A Bryan Photo), and on the right is a notch lapel tuxedo (photo by Adam Barnes via Southern Weddings)

We were also looking for a two-button jacket and a shirt with a point collar.

For accessories, we vetoed both vests and cummerbunds in favor of suspenders for a more clean, modern, and fuss-free look. And all you Southern ladies will be pleased to know that John will be tying his own black bow tie! (Well, maybe with some help from Dad… or this handy SW graphic!)

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Amanda Rae Photography via Style Me Pretty and A Bryan Photo

So we knew what we wanted, but not where to find it. Enter Marget’s fiance, who wears tuxedos frequently for work (fancy!) and is something of an expert. He recommended the Tommy Hilfiger tuxedos at Macy’s as a reasonably-priced option of good quality. On the day we cruised over to the Macy’s site to check things out, the tuxedo that caught our eye just so happened to be 66% off! With free shipping and free returns, we didn’t hesitate to snap one up in John’s size. For those that are curious, we bought this jacket and these pants, and this shirt. We’re still on the hunt for the perfect bow tie, suspenders, and shoes!

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Jessica Lorren

So we have a tux – yahoo! Now all that’s left is to get it tailored, and to add a little personalization. Who says belles are the only ones who get to have fun with embroidery and monogramming? We haven’t decided yet exactly how we’ll add some pizazz, but embroidering the inside of the jacket is at the top of my list:

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Lisa Poggi

What will your groom be wearing on his wedding day? If he’s wearing a tuxedo, which lapel style did you choose? Will you be renting or buying? Please comment + let me know!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters
Where we’re getting married
I go dress shopping
We choose a photographer
I ponder bridesmaid style
Mini food!
The music
We’re renting a tent!
We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres
We send out our save the dates
I gather hair and makeup inspiration
We talk cake and sweets
I introduce you to our videographer
We create a registry

P.S. If you like this post, check out these other ones, too!
What to wear to a black tie wedding as a guest
Our menswear favorites from 2011
An overview of wedding menswear options
How about tuxedos with navy dresses?

Adam Barnes and Jessica Lorren are fabulous members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

emily Written with love by Emily
13 Comments
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  1. avatar Hannah reply

    I love that peaked lapel! We thought about going with tuxedos for my handsome groom but with a wedding date at the end of July and the East Tennessee humidity, We will probably be putting the whole wedding party (well at least the gentlemen) in seersucker! I’m super excited but have a few groomsmen that are not quite as excited as we are yet… We’re working on that :) I’m also having trouble knowing where to find a good quality seersucker that fits in a modest budget. Any ideas?

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Hannah! Considering your location and date, seersucker sounds like the perfect choice for your wedding! I don’t have a great option for good, reasonably-priced seersucker, but I’m going to check with the other gals in the office and will get back to you if we come up with anything!

    • avatar Elizabeth reply

      Hannah: Joseph A Banks has good inexpensive Seersucker

    • avatar Elizabeth reply

      Thanks Emily for all your advice my fiance wants to have a custom tuxe made, but I am going to show him this one from Macy’s. I love it. We are also going to let our groomsmen wear what they have no need to make them spend extra if they already own one.

    • avatar AmandaR reply

      Hannah: If you are in or around Knoxville, try Coachman Clothiers, Brooks Brothers or John H. Daniel, and maybe American Clothing. My wedding is in Knoxville June 9th and the guys all ordered custom suits from http://www.studiosuits.com. They have TONS of fabrics, cuts, price ranges, and quick production time. I’ve seen the final product and it is pimp. That was the fiance’s way of letting his groomsmen and ushers invest in something nice, as opposed to renting an awkward tux that was only $50-100 less anyways.

  2. avatar Amanda reply

    So glad you for your dress at nitsa’s in Winston! I did too!!! But as soon as I saw your tweet about the tux at Macy’s I sent the link to my fiancé. He’s so tiny that renting is not an option! So I am in the same boat! I am curious as to what the groomsmen are doing though. My family is stuck on the idea that everyone has to match which is making everything so difficult! (everyone from my mom to his is complaining about this.) so we ordered a tux from topman and see how that fits. Not super nice material but no friends weddings in the future either.. Love to hear your thoughts on your men! And congrats on all the wedding success so far!!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Yay Nitsa’s! For the groomsmen, we gave them the option of either renting or buying, or wearing a tux they already have. We’re not so concerned about everyone matching exactly, but I can sympathize with you! I pointed the ones who were interested in renting towards the new Vera Wang line at Men’s Wearhouse, because they look like they have a more modern/slim fit!

  3. avatar Theresa reply

    Congrats Emily on your first dress fitting going so smoothly! I have mine this Sunday! We opted for light gray suits in a lightweight fabric due to an outside wedding on Hilton Head Island in July.

  4. avatar Bri @ Posh Purpose reply

    I know how wonderful it feels to have the groom squared away (mostly!). My beau can’t rent or even buy off the rack because he has an athletic build, think 6’4″ man with a 6’10” wing span – wonderful for swimming, but terrible for clothing him! Fortunately, we caught the 20% off made to measure event at Brooks Brothers and had a charcoal grey herringbone suit made. He particularly loves the special suit lining in MIT colors, our alma mater. It just arrived yesterday and I am so excited to see it this weekend!

    I decided that it would be silly to buy a tux for him since he will probably never need one again, and I also prefer men in grey ;) That being said, I am still debating between suits or tuxedos for the groomsmen. The local shop in town has a grey suit for rent, but I do love that Vera Wang line. Either way I am not concerned about the groomsmen matching the groom perfectly. I figure since it is expected for me to look different from the bridesmaids, then it should be fine for the groom to not match the wedding party.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Bri! Very interesting! Your groom’s suit sounds wonderful – love the custom lining! I’ve never really seen a groom in a suit while the groomsmen are in tuxes, and while I’m totally fine with the groomsmen dressing differently than the groom, I don’t know how I feel about them being more formal than him. Maybe let them wear their own gray suits, if you’re not concerned about them all matching perfectly? I’ve seen that done before, and it looks great!

  5. avatar jessica lorren reply

    Great idea for a post Emily! Love it. Thrilled to have Kyle’s groom style featured!

  6. avatar Black, White & Gold Wedding Color Inspiration – Crafty Pie Press reply

    […] Lily of the Valley Boutonniere via Southern Weddings. […]

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Emily Plans a Wedding: Our Registry

by in Expert Advice, Inspirations, Main, Personal, SW Weddings on

Hello, friends! For the last few months we’ve discussed all things reception, so today, I wanted to share with you a little bit about another part of our wedding planning adventure: our registry!

Setting up our registry was something John and I did way earlier than necessary – back in August, about a month after we got engaged, and 13 months out from our wedding. Why so early, you ask? Well, for some reason, I got the idea in my head that a few of the guests at our engagement party might want to buy us something off our registry. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t, probably because it never would have occurred to most of them that we had already set one up!

Though most of our picks from our first scanning trips have remained favorites, we’ve definitely gone back and tweaked our selections several times over the last few months. I do anticipate a few more tweaks before my bridal shower in June (and then probably a few more before the wedding!), but I feel like I’ve learned enough to offer a few dos and don’ts from my experience thus far.

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Do register for fine china, if it makes your heart happy. Once upon a time, it was considered sacrilege not to register for fine china. Now, I feel like the pendulum has swung in the other direction, and couples sometimes feel guilty about registering for porcelain. Some worry it’s too expensive, or that their peers will think they’re old-fashioned, stuffy, or impractical. I say just because your friends can’t figure out when you’ll use your china shouldn’t stop you from asking for it! They’ll figure it out when they arrive at your next dinner party :)

We chose the route of registering for a mix of every day china and fine china. We also chose to mix and match between patterns, and only register for the pieces we think we’ll most use and enjoy. (And yes, I plan to use these pretties! My morning muffin will look darling on those dotted bread and butter plates, don’t you think?) I had some fun playing around with the different pieces on my blog here, if you’re curious to see how everything will fit together!

Do register for your now, and for your later. When I first suggested registering for 12 place settings, John looked at me like I had 12 heads. We both come from large families, though, and Christmas and Easter dinners usually include a minimum of ten relatives. We might not be hosting said dinners now, but we very well might be in a few years.

Don’t feel you have to register for a full set of everything. We didn’t register for a complete set of glassware, since we already have everyday drinking glasses that we love, but we did opt to mix in a few new pieces, like champagne flutes and chardonnay glasses, since we currently own just four wine glasses (and they are very sad-looking, indeed).

Do test things out in person. I adore the flatware we chose. Something that was important to me with flatware was the heft – we wanted something slim and lightweight but with classic styling – and so testing different sets out in person was important to us, and something I’d highly recommend making time for.

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Don’t agonize over expensive items. As long as you have a good mix of high and low price points, including a few pricier items is perfectly fine. In fact, I’d say it’s actually a good thing to do, because some guests might like to go in together on a single item. I would note here that it is important to think about the demographics of your guests, because what’s considered a high price point for one guest list could fall into the low price point bracket for another one. Finally, your store’s completion program could provide an incentive to register for more expensive items, even if you don’t expect to receive them as gifts.

For us, this meant registering for a few Le Creuset pieces, even though the prices can be a bit hard to swallow. Since we already own one piece, though, I know how amazing they are to cook with (and clean!!), and the lifetime warranty can’t be beat. I love the idea of receiving wedding gifts that will be a part of our life for years and years, and I think our Le Creuset pieces fall into that category.

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Do register at a few different places. We registered at two chains with great websites and locations nationwide, and we also chose to register at Amazon. We like that this combination lets us choose from small and independent retailers, too.

Don’t be afraid to register for non-traditional items. Though I would say the majority of our registry falls into the “traditional” category, we’ve used Amazon’s universal registry feature to ask for some unique items, like a Brahms Mount throw, an insulated picnic basket, fun pillows, seagrass baskets, and even a piece of art. We’re considering adding some camping supplies, too!

There you have it, friends! Our registry in a nutshell. Should you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask! And I’d love to hear if you have any dos and don’ts of your own that you’d add to my list!

In case you missed a post…
The main characters
Where we’re getting married
I go dress shopping
We choose a photographer
I ponder bridesmaid style
Mini food!
The music
We’re renting a tent!
We discuss bouquets + boutonnieres
We send out our save the dates
I gather hair and makeup inspiration
We talk cake and sweets
I introduce you to our videographer

emily Written with love by Emily
3 Comments
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  1. avatar Nicole (WeddingScan) reply

    Great idea about registering early! I wished I’d registered sooner. And I like the non-traditional items idea. We registered for a DVD player (may or may not be traditional) but came in handy. Your friends just want to give you stuff you’ll like, no matter if it’s traditional or not. Several registries are good, but with the WeddingScan app, you can register for any product anywhere and have one combined registry.

  2. avatar One of Our Brides… Meet Emily Ayer | a jubilee event :: wedding inspiration for the jubilant bride reply

    […] I gather hair and makeup inspiration We talk cake and sweets I introduce you to our videographer We create a registry We buy a […]

  3. avatar Emily Plans a Wedding: Engagement Photos! – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] I gather hair and makeup inspiration We talk cake and sweets I introduce you to our videographer We create a registry We buy a tuxedo We style a reception I choose accessories Nancy Ray is a fabulous member of our […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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Southern Etiquette: Tipping Wedding Vendors

by in Expert Advice, Main, Southern Etiquette on

Hi, friends! Since this post is several years old now, we’ve gone ahead and updated it. Click here to find our updated guide to tipping wedding vendors!

As y’all know, I’m planning a wedding of my own (whoo!), and something that has befuddled me from day one is wedding tipping etiquette. There are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different times, that your head can start to spin long before you start separating cash out into envelopes.

Plus, when you’re already shelling out thousands of dollars per vendor, you might find yourself feeling, ahem, a little less than grateful at the thought of tipping on top of your final bill. Believe me, I completely understand! BUT, if you remember that tipping is never required, and should only be used to reward exemplary service, you might begin to feel a little differently.

In case you find yourself wanting to tip certain vendors, I’ve distilled advice from several different sources, including Emily Post, Martha Stewart, and my Momma, and then added in my own two cents. I also put together a handy tipping cheat sheet for us all, which you can download at the bottom of the post and tuck into your pocket come wedding day!

Finally, remember that while cash or a gift is always appreciated, a grateful spirit on your wedding day and a genuine, thoughtful thank you note after your wedding are quite possibly the best thank yous you can give your vendors.

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Michelle Warren via Southern Weddings

Wedding Planner
Should I tip? If your planner owns her own business, then no tip is expected, since it’s not customary to tip the owner of a business. However, if you would like to recognize exemplary performance, a personal gift or check is an option.
How much? Up to $500, or 15% of her fee, or a nice gift
When? We recommend sending a thank you note and your check or gift after you return from your honeymoon.

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Jodi Miller via Southern Weddings

Delivery and Set-up Staff
Should I tip? It’s a lovely gesture, especially if they were careful to set everything up to your specifications and without causing damage to the surroundings.
How much? $5 – $10 per person
When? Drop off envelopes with your catering manager or wedding planner if they’ll be accepting deliveries on your behalf

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Josh McCullock

Wedding Photographer or Videographer
Should I tip? As most photographers and videographers own their own businesses, tipping is not expected or required in this case. Again, a personal gift is always a lovely touch.

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Melissa Schollaert

Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist
Should I tip? Yes, this is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. However, the owning-their-own-business exception is still in effect, so keep that in mind.
How much? 15-20%, just as you would for a normal appointment
When? On the day of your wedding, after she’s finished getting you prettified

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Photos by Tim Will and Caroline Joy (via SW here + here)

Wedding Transportation
Should I tip? Check your contract, because a gratuity is usually included. If it’s not, then one is pretty much expected.
How much? 15-20% of the total bill
When? When the driver picks you up or after the last ride

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Virgil Bunao via Southern Weddings

Wedding Ceremony Officiant
Should I tip? It isn’t necessary to tip religious officiants like a priest or minister (many of them, in fact, won’t accept cash tips). In lieu of a tip, a donation to their house of worship is a nice gesture. It’s not expected that you’ll tip a civil employee or non-religious officiant, either (and sometimes, in the case of civil employees, tipping can be illegal). For all officiants, a personal gift, such as a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, would certainly be appreciated.
How much? Approximately $100
When? At the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner

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Scobey Photography

Wedding Ceremony Musicians
Should I tip? This one’s definitely optional. If the string trio you hired has arranged or learned a particular song for you at no additional charge, then a tip might be a nice gesture.
How much? $15 – $20 per musician, or 15% of total fee
When? Before the musicians leave your ceremony site

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A Bryan Photo via Southern Weddings

Wedding Reception Band or DJ
Should I tip? It’s completely optional, but somewhat common. For bands that book their own gigs (i.e. separate from an entertainment agency), tipping is not customary.
How much? If you choose to tip, set aside $20-$50 per musician or $25-$150 for DJs
When? Before they leave the reception

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Ulmer Studios via Southern Weddings

Wedding Reception Staff
Should I tip? Oh boy, this one’s the big guy. Yes, you should tip, but make sure a gratuity is not already included in your contract.
How much? There are two ways to tip. The first is to tip as a percentage of the cost of your total catering bill – 15-20%. The second way (which is often more economical), is to tip each staff member individually. If you’re going that route, here is the rule of thumb: catering manager, banquet manager, headwaiter, or maitre d’: $100-$300 or 1-3% of food and beverage fees; chef: $50-$100; waiters and kitchen staff: $20-$30 each; bartenders: 10% of the total liquor bill (to be split among them) or $20-$25 per bartender
When? Before you leave the reception

Now, as promised, my handy cheat sheet for tipping at your wedding – enjoy!

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Jodi Miller, Josh McCullock, Melissa Schollaert, and Scobey Photography are fabulous members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

emily Written with love by Emily
33 Comments
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  1. avatar Jennifer Underhill reply

    Emily, thank you for this post!!!! I have been meaning to look into tipping (along with a list of 20 other things) and have seen lots of different opinions that are all over the place! thank you for organizing all this into such a concise guide! I’m sure my vendors will appreciate it!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Miss Jennifer! I’m SO glad this is helpful for you! And I completely know what you mean about being overwhelmed by all the different opinions – that’s why I sat down to write this post in the first place!

  2. avatar Kelsey reply

    I’m so glad this was your newest etiquette topic! It gets so confusing and overwhelming, so it’s really nice to have this all in one place!

    I do have any additional/situational question. We don’t have a specific wedding planner, but we do have a coordinator at our reception venue. A fee is automatically added on to our final bill for her services (in addition to the 20% gratuity added for all wait staff and bartenders). Do I need to tip her additionally?
    Thanks! :)

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Kelsey! From my research, it seems like an on-site coordinator falls under the same category as maitre d’, catering manager, etc, so if she’s provided exemplary service or gone above and beyond for you, then I’d recommend a $100-$300 tip. However, I don’t think one is always necessary in this case.

  3. avatar Justin reply

    From the list it looks like you included every
    Wedding vendor but the Florist.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Justin! From my understanding, florists and cake bakers are also usually the owners of their own businesses, and since owners aren’t customarily tipped, y’all wouldn’t need advice on that :) But of course, if you felt your florist went above and beyond, by all means, include a little extra or a personal gift!

  4. avatar A Gatty reply

    Great post, but I will have to disagree on the photography piece. Whether they own their own business or not, I think it should be determined by each situation. As a professional photographer who owns his own business, I worked many weddings without a break so I didn’t miss anything, skipped dinner because ” the wedding planner” thought it was a good idea to feed us last after the guests, which also happens to be the time that the bride and groom are done eating. Did I expect a tip? no but man it would have been a nice gesture given that I went above and beyond. Also nowadays, most wedding vendors own their own business including the wedding planners who are usually the highest paid to start with. If you are going to so generously tip them, it’s only fair to show us “the rest of the vendors” similar treatment.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi A! I completely respect your opinion, but I just have to say that I think a vendor should never be disappointed by not getting a tip, only happily surprised by getting one. Also, I don’t think whether or not a couple tips should be based on the size of the vendor’s fee, but on whether or not he or she provided truly exemplary service. Thanks for chiming in!

  5. avatar The Friday Fresh Squeeze | Floridian Weddings reply

    […] are so many articles out there in regards to tipping your wedding vendors. I truly felt that this was a great article for advice! These adorable pencils are calling for an excuse to have a party! One of my favorite […]

  6. avatar Weekly Wedding Favorites | Going to the Chapel reply

    […] give? Is tipping even necessary? Although the title begins with “Southern Etiquette,” I think these very helpful tips from Southern Weddings apply to all Northerners, too. The post details when to tip your wedding […]

  7. avatar Weddings and Tipping | Wild Horse Inn Blog reply

    […] often asked about tipping.  Who to tip?  How much should vendors be tipped, etc?  Luckily or us, Southern Weddings Magazine has created a fantastic guide for weddings and tipping.  Personally, we can’t say enough […]

  8. avatar Tipping Wedding Vendors » Christopher William Jewelers reply

    […] here to read the entire article and get the down and dirty details on wedding tipping etiquette! […]

  9. avatar Tipping Wedding Vendors « Rules Of Engagement – Blog & Community for Guys & Brides – The Ring, The Proposal, The Wedding reply

    […] here to read the entire article and get the down and dirty details on wedding tipping […]

  10. avatar Christopher Smith reply

    I was an event photographer for 14 years, having retired in December of 2011. What meant the most to me was not a tip but a decent meal and a break to enjoy it. Though I did greatly appreciate the handful of tips I received, a meal meant a lot more.

  11. avatar Favorite Finds 6.8.12 reply

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  12. avatar Jordan McBride | HOW TO: Properly Thank Your Vendors reply

    […] you should be tipping, and how much you should be tipping them. To get you started on your search, this one from Southern Weddings is comprehensive, well-written, and includes a handy-dandy chart at the […]

  13. avatar Peter reply

    As a wedding photographer, I’d have to say the best “tip” you can give is a referral. I cannot quantify how much that means to us both personally and professionally. Although a bite to eat during the reception is much appreciated as well ;)

  14. avatar Maggie reply

    I have worked in several jobs within the wedding industry and I have to say that the wedding coordinator is probably the most underpaid job of all of them. The reason I say this is that they work for weeks, months and sometimes even a year with the bride and groom putting the wedding together. Many times, the DJ, bands and photographers make them same, if not more money for one night of work (photographers work more than one night however as they have to edit the photos). Not to say that the other vendors don’t work hard, but per hour, the wedding coordinator is the lowest on the totem pole for payment. If your planner goes above and beyond, especially if they own their own business, a tip is very appreciated. I can tell you that most planners put in atleast a 12-16 hour work day, not to mention the hectic week leading up to the wedding. It doesn’t feel so great to be handing out tips galore on behalf of the bride and groom to vendors who show up and work for 4-6 hours when you have slaved away and receive nothing. So it is not expected but really really appreciated.

  15. avatar The Tipping Point: Who and How Much to Tip on Your Big Day | Pink Cloud 9 Weddings Blog reply

    […] (Image credit: Southern Weddings Magazine) […]

  16. avatar Chelsey Morrison reply

    I have sent this post to clients multiple times. Just wanted to say thanks for an easy to understand reference guide that I can keep coming back to!

  17. avatar Akisha reply

    A very thoughtful article that is personally appreciated. Being that I make most of my living from “contract” photography work these days (although I continue to have my own business presence), I feel obliged to add that many engaged couples are using national or regional companies to provide photography and videography services in the current market. In this case (and there are many since the prices of these companies are competitive and most business owners can’t compete in the “budget market”), I think you are inferring that a tip is appropriate. This is due to the fact that the photographer/videographer/DJ’s that work for these companies are making a day rate that is only a portion of what you are paying out. This is generally a fourth or fifth of what they would be making if you were their own client (without overhead included, of course) and they are still treating you with the same respect and hard working attitude they would have if you had hired them directly. I personally do this kind of work because my living depends on it and these companies who can afford big advertising can keep me steadily employed. It’s the closest thing I can get to a regular paycheck and I can tell you at the end of the day, any tip makes a big difference and means the world to the person actually providing you with excellent (hopefully) customer service.

  18. avatar Budgeting For Your Wedding | Magnifique Soirée reply

    […] 3. Prioritize your budget. Once you’ve determined the pool of money available to spend, it’s time to begin slicing it up. Start to talk with your fiance about what’s most important to you both, and start to reach out to vendors and venues with whom you’re interested in working. As quotes come in, you’ll start to see how your money might need to be allocated.Wedding quotes can be eye-popping and confusing at first, but there are lots of articles out there that will help you understand them better (two I recommend on flowers: here and here). It also might be helpful to look at how other couples have split their budget — mine is right here, and Ruffled also runs a great series on real budgets. Also: don’t forget to calculate tips into the cost of each vendor. You can find our tips for tipping here. […]

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    […] Southern Weddings / Southern Etiquette: Tipping Wedding Vendors […]

  24. avatar Diagrams to help you with Your Wedding | Pinky Ring reply

    […] iloveswmag.com / Via southernweddings.com […]

  25. avatar The Who, What, and When of Wedding Vendor Tipping reply

    […] you show your appreciation is bound to make them smile. Sources: The Knot Martha Stewart Weddings Southern Weddings Ann’s Bridal Bargains Putting on the […]

  26. avatar Anonymous reply

    Hello Emily,

    I was curious what owning your own business really has to do with tipping or not? I personally believe that tips are earned based on hard work and effort… I agree that it is important to tip the delivery staff and people like that… but the people like photographers and planners who literally spend ALL day long with the bride and groom, making every effort to make sure everything is perfect surely deserve a tip more than the guy who drove the tables to the reception that the bride and groom never met. Small business owners put every single bit of effort that they can into their jobs. They have a true passion and usually end up doing way more work than they are paid for. So why is it etiquette to tip someone for just showing up and doing what they are being paid hourly to do vs tipping someone who will go above and beyond for you? It is pretty hard to be that vendor that goes above and beyond to make the bride and groom’s day perfect and spends 10+ hours with them over the course of the day and then watch the DJ who had a bad attitude and was only there for 4 hours get tipped just because blogs/magazines say that it is etiquette.

    I am a wedding vendor. I work very hard every single wedding to make sure everything is perfect. I don’t ever expect to be tipped or given a gift… but please think and help your readers realize who the people are who really do go above and beyond.

    And brides…. please say thank you to your vendors. You wouldn’t believe how often this little phrase is skipped over. It really makes the small business owners feel so happy and really makes us want to do even more to make your day better! :)

    Thank you,
    Anonymous

  27. avatar Tips for Tipping Wedding Vendors at Your Wedding: An Infographic | crazyforus reply

    […] Via southernweddings.com Image via […]

  28. avatar Tips for Tipping Vendors | reply

    […] If you’re still in need of some more advice, head on over to their breakdown of vendor tipping here. We recommend saving or pinning the cheat sheet for future reference. We hope we helped make your […]

  29. avatar Fresno Wedding Vendors Tipping | Supreme Wedding Dress reply

    […] Southern Etiquette: Tipping Wedding Vendors – and something that has befuddled me from day one is wedding tipping etiquette. There are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different … […]

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