What, you haven’t heard of the SWPS? It’s kind of like the USPS, except it’s manned by the Southern Weddings girls. Get it?
Oh, you want to start your own post office system? Here’s how to do it, in 15 easy steps:
1. Receive a shipment of juuuust around 10,000 magazines. Find four ladies to push two palettes of said magazines, each weighing two and a half tons, into your office garage. In the rain. Ideally, you’ll find one more lady to document this event.
2. Order shipping supplies off of the USPS (that lesser cousin of the SWPS) website. Have them arrive only to find that they are not, in fact, the exact mailing supplies you are in need of.
3. Send all of your employees out into the greater Chapel Hill area to clean out the four closest USPS locations of all of their medium priority mail boxes and envelopes.
4. Make uber-cute “hello y’all!” nametags for your magazine launch party.
5. Forget to bring them to Atlanta.
6. Repurpose them as mailing labels.
7. Attempt to have five employees log into the same PayPal site at the same time to copy addresses onto mailing labels. Watch as each of them are logged out over and over again throughout the hour it takes to address all of the packages. Shake your fist at PayPal’s security features.
8. Design and order postcards to accompany the magazines. Ship them overnight so that they’ll arrive on the day you need to send out said magazines.
9. Load all of the fulfilled orders into the back of one car and one SUV. Again, make sure you are doing this in the rain.
10. Arrange for your postcards to NOT arrive within the specified day and time, but to arrive 15 minutes after the post office closes for the day. Shake your fist at FedEx.
11. Meet up with your employees first thing in the morning at the nearest USPS. Make sure that it is difficult for your directionally-challenged employees to find so that they are 15 minutes late to the meet-up.
12. Sit on the floor of the post office surrounded by stacks and stacks of mailing envelopes. Form an assembly line, with two employees writing notes and one stuffing notes and sealing envelopes.
13. Brave the stares of the postal service employees and other customers as you wheel your three carts (yes, carts) of packages up to the window.
14. Stand by said window as a disgruntled USPS employee prepares each of your 350+ packages for mailing. Get comfortable; this will take approximately an hour and a half.
15. Drive back to the office and proudly display your receipts from the excursion. Ladybug rainboots optional.
And that’s that! Easy peesy.
Want your copy via SWPS? Order one here and get it in time to enter the MEGA PHOTO CONTEST!
First ever receipt model, thanks Katharine. Is there a SWPS office in north hollywood?
That’s awesome! You ladies made me laugh out loud! Southern women are fabulous. (=
You girls crack me up! I so wish I could come hang out every now and then. I think we would be BFFs, for sure!
hahaha this was awesome and SOOO MUCH WORK oh my goodness!!! you guys are so wonderful!
Haha… cracked me up! Thanks for your hilarious post… I’ll be ordering my copy shortly!! :)
Quite possibly the funniest SW post I’ve ever read. LOVE it. Show the USPS (and FexEx) who’s boss! ;-)
Love it! I’m sure it wasn’t fun during the process but glad you can look back on it and laugh. Look forward to ordering an issue. :)
I still can’t stop laughing. Emily, you are brilliant. I love our office! Lara
And the final, final result…all the recipients jumping up and down at the mailbox upon receipt of the GORGEOUS magazine. Yup, I did that. :)
OMG, this was absolutely entertaining. Granted I know it was a TON of work, but you made thousands of readers very happy this past weekend and more to come. :)
And I thought we were insane driving all over 3 towns and probably 8 shops to find the issue. Y’all crack me up.
omg, I *so* needed to hear this. I had what I thought was an uber-heinous experience at the post office — but man, that so pales in comparison to this. Way to go, Team, for being such troopers! I admire the bravery in facing the Post Office Death Stares (how do people perfect those)? Hee, I love these giggles I’m getting, thanks for making my day with this :)!
This is hilarious!! I love it, and thanks for sharing with us what a fun crazy day is like at the SW office :)
you girls are awesome! i’m still picturing you all at the post office with all those packages to mail out! i can’t help but wonder what all the people behind you guys in line must have been thinking!
That is one major operation! Congrats on getting it all done….lucky you have a great team!! I can’t wait to get my copy!
So funny! When I received my SW magazine in the mail and the postcard popped out, my first thought was, "Aw, they personalized every postcard. That’s SO sweet!" Now that I know all the steps leading up to the personalizing of the postcards, I appreciate it even more. Y’all are great!
haha, that is just hilarious!!! And you even managed to write little notes on some of those adorable postcards! My copy of the mag arrived on Saturday and I am in looooooove- I cracked up at the name tag/mailing label! great work, ladies. :)
Are they coming to Ohio stores? WOW! I love how personal SW Magazine is!! May the luck blossom to SW!
First ever receipt model… hehehe… I think Katharine has a new calling.
The "shake your fist at Fedex" made me laugh outloud. (Like one of those barky laughs that catches people off-guard so they look at you like you need to be restrained. Awesome.)
I just received my copy of SWMag and now that I see your process I’m even more thrilled and appreciative to have it my beautiful copy to keep me company on my plane ride to Thanksgiving vacay with my family. Thanks for all your hard work. I will come help next time!
I love the "Hello Y’all" name tags! :D
hahaha this was awesome and SOOO MUCH WORK
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