Southern Weddings

Hey gals + guys! The etiquette queries have been coming fast and furious lately, so I thought we’d answer a trio of conundrums on the blog today.

First, Katie:

My soon-to-be fiance and I plan to have a very small wedding in my hometown. As it is not easy to get there (expensive to fly in, nowhere nearby to stay, easy to get lost on country roads), we will only be inviting family and our very, very dearest friends. After the honyemoon, we plan to have a big reception in Dallas, where we both live. My question is: do I wear my wedding dress? It seems a little odd to me to wear it, when it is not the day of the wedding, but, on the other hand, I want to wear something special and still feel like a “bride.” Help!

This is one situation where, in my opinion, there isn’t any hard and fast etiquette, just encouragement to do whatever makes you feel happiest! You can’t say that about every situation you find yourself in during wedding planning, so enjoy it! :) I would say that if you love your wedding dress and want to wear it a second time, go for it. Might as well get as much use out of that sucker as you can, right?! I’m bolstered by the fact that your Dallas reception is going to be large, so it’s not like you’re going to be sitting around in your living room with a few friends in your wedding dress… which might be a little awkward!

That being said, you absolutely have the option of wearing something else. Though no one will forget you’re the bride even if you’re wearing jeans, I’d suggest a LWD (Little White Dress) for the occasion. There are perfect options either off the rack or from the line of a designer like Amsale or Romona Keveza.

Next, Bonnie, who wanted to hear more about the intricacies of addressing envelopes to dentists, academics, and medical doctors.

Are dentists considered medical doctors so that I may write out Doctor Campbell v. Dr. Campbell? I have used Dr. for all academic doctors and Doctor for all medical doctors, but where do dentists fit? If the correct version is Doctor, then is it The Doctor Campbell or just Doctor Campbell?

Actually, the doctor title should always be abbreviated on an invitation, and dentists are welcome to use this title, as well. For a male medical doctor or dentist, you would say “Dr. and Mrs. John Smith.” For a female medical doctor or dentist, you would say “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” or “Mr. John Smith and Dr. Kara Smith,” depending on whether or not she retains her title socially.

I have two dentists married (Oliver Campbell and Catharine Campbell). Do I say “The Doctors Campbell” or “The Doctors Oliver Campbell”? Or something else?

I like either the simplicity of “The Doctors Campbell” or the egalitarianism of “The Doctors Oliver and Catharine Campbell.” Your choice!

Our last question of the day comes from Morgan:

My fiance and I are eloping — minus the destination and surprise part. Next spring we are having a lovely private ceremony in Dallas at the chapel my parents were married in. It will be just our parents and siblings in attendance. However, quite a few “close” friends have announced displeasure at our decision. Bless their hearts, they feel they need to BE there. As a result, our wedding date has remained fairly secret. Our plan is to send out formal wedding announcements on our wedding day, each with an enclosure inviting the guest to a full reception about 6 weeks later. The tricky part is, how should we word it to appease my very proper family? We will be using the formal announcement from Ms. Post, but the reception invitation is a little harder. Can it be worded like a typical reception insert? Does it need to be formally worded like an invitation (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. X invite you to a reception in honor of Mr. And Mrs. Y?) If it is formal, is it strange that the wording is almost the same as the announcement that’s also included? Does it go in a separate enclosure envelope? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Hi, Morgan! First, Katharine and I agree that the reception information/invitation should be separate from the wedding announcement, since guests weren’t invited to the ceremony. In terms of wording, I think very simplephrasing would complement the formality of the announcement without being repetitive. Try something like this:

Celebrate with the newlyweds / at a reception in their honor / Saturday, June 15 / at five o’clock / 123 Main Street / Dallas, Texas / The favour of a reply is requested

I’d follow the format of an invitation but remove the majority of the names for redundancy’s sake. Readers, if you have another suggestion for Morgan, I’m sure she’d love to hear it! And, of course, if any of you have etiquette issues of your own, feel free to email me and we’ll hash them out here!

All photos c/o Cooper Carras

Written with love by Emily