Rachel Hulin
Hello, belles! We hope you have the day off to enjoy the first unofficial day of summer (and official first day of white pants acceptability!). We’re taking the day off, too, but couldn’t leave without a few words of thanks to all of our men and women currently serving in the military, and a note of gratitude to those who have given their lives in service to our country. We are so thankful.
To tide you over until tomorrow, we’ve rounded up a few favorite military weddings we’ve shared over the years:
Kelly + Corey in Savannah
Madeline + Jake in Texas
Lindsay + Chris in Savannah
Tara + Chris in California (here + here)
Ashley + Judd in Florida (here + here)
Bonus! A military proposal story.
Author: Emily
Ladies, I am so happy to be sharing our interview with May’s Southern Bride of the Month! Lauren is getting married in just a few weeks, and I think you’ll love the inspiration she’s collected for her nuptials. Please make her feel welcome!
Hi! What’s your name?
Lauren Kelley
What’s your fiancé’s name?
Danny Evans
How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story.
Danny and I both grew up in North Carolina, attended UNC-Chapel Hill, graduated in the same year (2008) and never knew each other. He moved to Stamford, CT to work for GE Capital and I moved to Manhattan to work at The Wall Street Journal. One evening in February 2009, he met his friends (Janus and Carter, his best men) at a bar in New York, and I was already there in the booth with the boys and a few of my girlfriends. Janus and Carter still argue over who actually introduced us. He sat across from me, and the rest is history…
Now tell us alllll about the proposal.
One of my college roommates got married on May 19th of last year in Edisto Island, SC. My family decided to make it a beach week after the wedding to celebrate my birthday. I had my suspicions of an engagement, but I did not expect the creativity he brought to it! After we were finished eating my birthday dinner on Sunday, Danny asked me to help him with a cake they had bought for my special day. I went inside and he told me to grab the napkins. Then he decided I should just bring out the cake. I went over to the cake to close its box, and that’s when I read, “Lauren, Will You Marry Me?” I of course freaked out and turned around, and there he was on one knee. It’s a pretty incredible feeling, and I can’t tell you how surprised I was! He had the cake made at the local Piggly Wiggly (hilarious!) and kept it a secret with my dad and brother from Thursday until Sunday. They knew not to tell my mom because I would break her instantly. She’s a terrible liar.
When’s the big day?
Saturday, June 1st
Where might you two be tying the knot?
The French Protestant Huguenot Church in Charleston, SC
A classic inspiration board from Snippet & Ink that’s guiding Lauren’s style!
How did you pick your ceremony and reception venues? What do you love most about each space?
I am in love with Charleston. It has such a juxtaposition of old and new: a rich Southern history and amazing new restaurants and bars with a college feel. Our church is crazy beautiful, and I didn’t even get to see the inside when I chose it. I knew from the outside and the location in downtown that it was exactly where I wanted to get married. The reception venue is the historic rice mill right on the water. The inside is dark wood floors, a beautiful dark wood wrap around bar and tall windows that let in a lot of light. It has a perfectly-sized dance floor and a little outdoor space so guests can enjoy the view of the water.
Tell us a little bit about the wedding you’re planning: style, theme, feel, colors?
I like really clean and simple, so my wedding is a lot of white, gray, pops of Carolina blue and turquoise. There’s green in the flowers, but overall they’re clean and white.
In looking at Lauren’s Pinterest board, I love that she’s pulling inspiration from interiors and sources outside of weddings — always a great idea! (Bedroom by Armonia Decors and living room by Katie Rosenfeld)
Who or what has been most helpful and/or inspiring in the wedding planning process?
My wedding planner, Ellen Robinson from WED. She has made my life so stress free!
How have you involved your “community” (friends, family, etc.) in the wedding planning process?
My mom’s group of friends from my hometown are throwing my bridal luncheon for me, and Danny’s sisters are helping with the rehearsal dinner at Magnolias. I’m usually not great at delegating, but with this project I knew it was way too big to take on myself!
Lauren was also inspired by this invitation set from Dauphine Press. So pretty!
How has the budgeting been? What’s your best budgeting tip?
Ahem… I wish Danny was answering this question. It’s been a little difficult, and I’m so happy I have him to rein me in and really apply his Excel knowledge :) My best budgeting tip is hire him to help you! He’ll keep you in line.
Have you picked your dress yet? How’d that go? What will you be wearing on the big day?
Yes! It was the fifth dress I tried on at Hitched in Georgetown. It’s Amsale, and it’s named Lauren. Meant to be? Perhaps. My mom went with me, and we tried on her dress to see what it would look like after 20+ years. Needless to say it was a miss. She’s a little shorter, and got married in the 80’s. It made for a good time. I have sewn part of her dress in the lining of mine and am wrapping part of her veil around my bouquet.
Lauren loves this clean + smooth updo — I think it will look perfect with her gown! (Photos by Hyer Images)
What do you love most about Southern weddings?
The food! Low country boil and pimento cheese sandwiches? Yes please!
Do you have a favorite independent store you’d love to tell us about?
Maddison Row and Cacky’s Bride + Aid in Charleston have been amazing! A bug ran into me and died on the left top of my dress during my bridal portrait, and they tacked a pleat and were able to hide it. They’re also being so great and letting me keep my dress at their store so I don’t have to bring it back and forth from DC!
What has been the best part of wedding planning? The worst part?
Best part is seeing this event you have thought about for most of your life come together. It’s kind of indescribable. The worst part would have to be the technicalities of who you can/cannot invite and staying within budget. Both can be a little stressful at times!
Tell us about planning with your fiancé. Has it gone smoothly? Is he more involved, or hands-off?
Involved and amazing. Danny has been a trooper and when he says he wants something particular I listen. There haven’t been many things we disagree on.
Decor + rentals Lauren loves with a clean + preppy feel (photos by A Bryan Photo)
What are you most looking forward to on your wedding day?
Seeing Danny and being surrounded by our friends and family. Also, all the dance moves. My dad loves to dance at weddings, so I know it’s going to be epic.
Any plans for a honeymoon? Where do you want to go and what will you do?
We’re going to St. John and I haven’t really planned much of that. Lots of relaxation!
Any advice you’d like to pass along to fellow brides?
Enjoy the entire process. Sometimes I take a step back and think, “this only happens once and I need to appreciate this moment.”
“This only happens once” — such a good thing to remember, right, ladies? Amen. Thank you for joining us, Lauren! If you’d like to apply to be a Southern Bride of the Month, check out this post for all the details! If you’ve already emailed me, you’re still in the running for future months!
WED is a delightful member of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!
-
reply
[…] http://iloveswmag.com/2013/05/22/southern-bride-of-the-month-lauren-2/ […]
-
reply
Wow, I love everything Lauren has planned for her big day (that just happend, congrats!)! I’m hoping to create a similar vibe for our wedding next spring – espcially the colors she describes above as I’m marrying a Tar Heel too ;) Thanks for sharing!
Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post. And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads. We love hearing your kind thoughts!
We all know bridal parties are famously large in the South, and with the effort to squeeze out as many honorary positions as possible often comes dual roles: choosing both a maid AND matron of honor to stand by your side on the big day. Karen wrote us with a question about this potentially sticky situation:
Hello ladies!
One of my best friends is getting married this summer. She has asked her cousin to be matron of honor and has asked me to be maid of honor, and let me know that I would be very busy helping with things for the wedding because of my title. However, so far she has not spoken to me about any of the usual things a maid of honor would handle, and instead has spoken to her cousin. For example, she mentioned a wedding shower, and then said that she needed to talk to her cousin about more details. That was the first I had heard about the shower, which is fine, but I just don’t want both her cousin and I planning the same things. Can a maid and matron of honor share duties, or not? Another concern is that I’m in school, and so don’t have a lot of money to pay for events or activities, but still want to help in any way I can. All advice will be greatly appreciated!!
Karen, you are in good company! I think many maids and matrons of honor are confused about their duties even when they’re the only one in the role. And the tricky thing is, while there are general guidelines, every bride is a bit different in terms of what she expects or would like her honor attendants to do, which is a recipe for hurt feelings on both sides. So that’s my first piece of advice: Sit your friend down (virtually, if necessary!) and let her know that you’re honored to have been asked and look forward to celebrating this special time with her. Let her know that you’re more than happy to assist in any way you can, but that to do so well you would love for her to elaborate on what, exactly, she expects from you, as well as what her matron of honor will be taking care of. Hopefully that will start moving everyone toward being on the same page! If she’s comfortable putting you in touch with her cousin, that could be a great next step toward you two working together instead of around each other.
I also completely understand not being as financially able; the best thing to do is to be up front with your friend if she asks or asks something of you that you’re not capable of. And remember, joyful, thoughtful emotional support (and sometimes your donated time and labor!) is more priceless to a bride than expensive trips and gifts.
Jessica Lorren
In the meantime, for all those facing a maid or matron of honor position without prior experience, here’s our general guideline to typical duties:
— Be willing to help in whatever way possible with wedding planning. If you live nearby, this could mean helping to address invitations or assemble programs. If you don’t, you might offer to set up vendor appointments or research florists.
— Lend an ear during the engagement. Even the most cheerful bride will likely need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on at some point before her wedding. Weddings can be stressful — do what you can to alleviate that stress.
— Help the bride select bridesmaids’ attire. Listen to and, if necessary, help squash, unreasonable grumblings from bridesmaids about said attire.
— Make sure a shower and/or bachelorette are addressed. Make sure you ask the bride her wishes for these events, and then execute to the best of your ability with ample assistance from bridesmaids.
— Organize bridesmaids’ gifts to the bride (if you’re giving one) and organize the bridesmaids’ luncheon (if you’re holding one). Brides sometimes like to host the luncheon themselves as a thank you to their ‘maids, so check with her before making plans.
— Go into the wedding day over-prepared. More than any of the other ‘maids, it’s your responsibility to make sure you are aware of the timeline for the day, the order everyone will be walking down the aisle, where you’re taking portraits, etc. This way, the bride won’t be the only one fielding questions on her wedding morning, which can be very stressful.
— Take control of the bride’s cell phone on the wedding morning. Of course, you’ll want to consult with the bride before you attempt to commandeer her phone, but setting up a sort of electronic forcefield around her while she’s getting ready means that only the truly important calls will get through.
— Hold the groom’s wedding ring and the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony. Reposition her train if necessary.
— Witness the signing of the marriage certificate.
— Run interference. Between the bride and bridesmaids, between the bride and her mother-in-law, maybe even between her and the mother of the bride. Learn to be gracious, but firm. The skills of a diplomat are essential to successfully fulfilling this role.
— Anticipate the bride’s needs. Make sure she eats something so her blood sugar doesn’t bottom out. If she has mentioned little things (having a bottle of champagne in the dressing area, wanting a through-the-door convo with her groom before the wedding, wanting a moment alone with her new husband just following the ceremony) execute her wishes to the best of your ability.
— Bustle her gown post-ceremony. If you live nearby, it could be helpful to attend the final fitting so you can learn the ropes — er, buttons and snaps — before the big day.
–- Help the bride change into her going-away clothes and take care of the bride’s wedding dress and accessories after the reception.
Anything to add, ladies? Have you ever been a co maid or matron of honor? How did it go?
-
reply
One thing my sister (MOH) did that helped me SO much was come up with a list of bags to pack and help me pack them for the wedding day. We had a bag for getting ready (that included toiletries, makeup, etc) , a bag for the church (that included undergarments for dress, wedding shoes, lipstick, etc), a bag for the reception (change of clothes, change of shoes), and finally the honeymoon bag. She put herself in charge of making sure all the bags got transported to the proper location and that everything was there that I needed. It was SO helpful!
-
reply
As a bride with a middle-sized bridal party and multiple MOHs, I have been very lucky in that my special-est gals have simply agreed to get along wonderfully and share responsibilities. They deserve a lot of credit for their own behavior and decisions, especially taking this all on without knowing one another previously. I think they felt daunted at first, but really, it’s worked out so nicely, and they are now friends. I came to this decision because I am equally close with these women, but they don’t have exactly the same strengths and weaknesses. Where one may not feel as comfortable, the other steps in. I talked with them initially about what I hoped for in the planning process, what I expected of their roles, and asked if they had concerns about sharing duties. I make sure to be grateful to each for her lovely attention and help — communication has been SO key. My big day is coming up (June 8th) and I plan to ask each to help with one thing. One with the bustle, one with the veil, etc, so that my MOHs feel dutiful and helpful. I would advise brides to choose MOH’s wisely, however, because much of the success of this is choosing young ladies who are close to you, but who are also going to get along even under stress. Make sure to thank them well (as we always should, no?) and in your own, heartfelt way. I am a perpetual note-writer and I have written each gal individual thank you notes for EVERY STEP of their involvement – wedding dress shopping, planning and attending the bachelorette, attending and helping at my shower, for an active listening ear when wedding-stress hits… I think because my women have chosen to get along and I have made time in my process to genuinely tell and show them how happy I am makes our arrangement much brighter!
-
reply
I just got home from my very best friend’s wedding, that I was the maid of honor in, and this list is spot on! I took a lot of pride in my role and really wanted to make sure this day was perfect for the bride, and I think it was! I think the most important part is to just communicate with the bride as much as possible.
-
reply
[…] Alright ladies, in most situations there is a Maid of Honor or a Matron of Honor, and in many cases you will have both! The only difference, contrary to what some believe, is that the Maid of Honor is an unwed bridesmaid and the Matron of Honor is in fact married. Both of these titles are considered the “principal bridesmaids”, these ladies will be your go to girls for the duration of the day. Now, who does what? Let us break it down shall we. Both the Maid and Matron should be there for the Bride right from the get go, this is not a job for the lazy that’s for sure! She should be able to help with the wedding planning in whatever way possible. Lend an ear during the engagement, this is important for the Bride, considering she will be under a certain amount of stress during the process of planning. So grab that bottle of wine and help her exercise her demons! Make sure that there is a bridal shower/bachelorette party in the plans. Organize the bridesmaids gifts, and the bridal luncheon. Take full control of the brides cell phone on the day of, that thing will be blowing up, and you don’t want it to stress the Bride out. Anticipate the Brides needs, and run interference between the Bride and others. These are only a few helpful hints, you can view a whole gaggle of pointers on the Southern Weddings page @ https://southernweddings.com /2013/05/20/southern-etiquette-maid-and-matron-of-honor/. […]
-
reply
[…] Pink Bridesmaids Cardigan captured by Jessica Lorren via Southern Weddings […]
-
reply
I need to fine out if a maid of honor is foe who not been married yet? Them what is the matron of honor who been married but still call be the maid of honor too? I need to fine out this? I’m getting married in April 2015 . We r going to Hawaii to get married too. Please help me out please. Thank you
Annemarie
-
reply
[…] Jessica Lorren via Southern Weddings […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – Southern … – Jessica Lorren In the meantime, for all those facing a maid or matron of honor position without prior experience, here’s our general guideline to typical duties: […]
-
reply
I simply love this post! I have posed the same question but have always been unsure of what the title entails. Thank you for the preparation via your post.
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – … – Jessica Lorren In the meantime, for all those facing a maid or matron of honor position without prior experience, here’s our general guideline to typical duties: […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – … – Alright ladies, in most situations there is a Maid of Honor or a Matron of Honor, and in many cases you will have both! The only difference, contrary to what some … […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – … – Alright ladies, in most situations there is a Maid of Honor or a Matron of Honor, and in many cases you will have both! The only difference, contrary to what some … […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – Southern … – Alright ladies, in most situations there is a Maid of Honor or a Matron of Honor, and in many cases you will have both! The only difference, contrary to what some … […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – Southern … – Jessica Lorren In the meantime, for all those facing a maid or matron of honor position without prior experience, here’s our general guideline to typical duties: […]
-
reply
[…] Southern Etiquette: Maid and Matron of Honor – Southern … – Alright ladies, in most situations there is a Maid of Honor or a Matron of Honor, and in many cases you will have both! The only difference, contrary to what some … […]
-
reply
Off subject but I was wondering if 1 of the girls has been married & divorced 2 times & currently engaged, would that entitle her to be the matron of honor or maid of honor? My friends have always chosen the married bff as matron & the other bff maid of honor, and I recently heard of just having 2 maid of honors and no hard feelings!
-
reply
Hi Cassey! It is definitely fine to have two maids of honor–I did at my wedding! :) The most important thing is that everyone feels comfortable with their role in supporting the bride on her big day, no matter what their “title” is. Hope this helps!
-
-
reply
Hi, I actually had both my sisters as MOHs at my wedding! And I think it went well… but now I am the Matron OH and my sister’s BFF is the Maid OH for my sister’s wedding. Overall it is going well I think. But I have been frustrated planning the bachelorette together because the other MOH and I have very different planning styles. She has been very unresponsive to me, so after giving her some time I have decided to make plans. Now she is changing my plans (i.e. telling the other bridesmaids different information than what I told them). I feel frustrated and I don’t know how to deal with this situation. Trying to get through it and wait until it’s over… but could there be a way to enjoy it?
-
reply
I am asking my aunt to be my maid of honor, and just found out the difference between matron and maid. My question is, if she is no longer with her husband, separated from him but not divorced, should I ask her to be my maid of honor? Or matron of honor?
Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post. And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads. We love hearing your kind thoughts!
Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post. And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads. We love hearing your kind thoughts!