Last time on Southern Etiquette we reviewed Bridesmaid Responsibilities 101. Y’all made some fabulous suggestions in the comment section, including helping to wrangle guests to their places for a grand exit at the end of the night (so difficult!) — go check them out!
This week I’m back with additional duties for the maid of honor. MOHs share all the duties of regular maids, but they also go above and beyond in a few key ways.
{Image by Stephanie Williams via Southern Weddings}
Maid of Honor Responsibilities:
—Be willing to help in whatever way possible with wedding planning. If you live nearby, this could mean helping to address invitations and placecards. If you don’t, you might offer to set up vendor appointments or research florists.
—Lend an ear during the engagement. Separate from the toils of wedding planning, even the most happy-go-lucky brides will likely need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on at some point before her wedding. Weddings can be stressful — do what you can to alleviate that stress.
—Help bride select bridesmaids’ attire. Listen to and, if necessary, help squash, unreasonable grumblings from bridesmaids about said attire.
—Organize bridesmaids’ gifts to the bride (if you’re giving one) and organize the bridesmaids’ luncheon (if you’re holding one). Brides sometimes like to host the luncheon themselves as a thank you to their maids, so check with her before making plans.
—Go into the wedding day super prepared. More than any of the other maids, it’s your responsibility to make sure you are aware of the timeline for the day, the order everyone will be walking down the aisle, where you’re taking portraits, etc. This way, the bride won’t be the only one fielding questions on her wedding morning, which can be very stressful.
—Take control of the bride’s cell phone on the wedding morning. Of course, you’ll want to consult with the bride about this before you attempt to commandeer her phone, but setting up a sort of electronic forcefield around the bride while she’s getting ready means that only the truly important calls will get through, and nothing unnecessary will ruffle her bridal bliss.
—Hold the groom’s wedding ring and the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
—Witness the signing of the marriage certificate.
—Help the bride change into her going-away clothes and take care of the bride’s wedding dress and accessories after the reception
What do you think? Anything you’d add to the list? Let me know!
All images in the header c/o Millie Holloman
And plan the bachelorette party :)
Make sure that either you are able, or appoint the next girl in line, to reposition the bride’s train during the ceremony if necessary. I thought this was a given until I went ot a wedding this weekend and watched the poor bride almost trip on her train b/c no one thought to fan it for her as she turned during the ceremony to hear the music, reader, etc. Run interference. Between bride and groom, between bride and bridesmaids, between bride and mother in law, maybe even mother of the bride. Learn to be gracious, but firm. I’ve been maid of honor, oh, about 6 times, and I find that being a diplomat is essential to successfully fulfilling this role and alleviating some of the bride’s pre-wedding and day of stress. Anticipate the bride’s needs. Make sure she eats something on her wedding day so her blood sugar doesn’t bottom out. If she has mentioned little things (having a bottle of champagne in the dressing area, wanting a through-the- door convo with her groom before the wedding, wanting a moment alone with her new husband just following the ceremony) execute her wishes to the best of your ability. Once you accept the role of MoH — basically, step UP. JMHO
Ask the bride if she will need your help to bustle her gown. If so, it would be very beneficial for you to attend her final dress fitting to get the bustling lesson.
Actually, I think a lot of these should be shared by everyone in the bride's party. I actually came here and reviewed these posts because I'm part of a wedding now where the MOH and other bmaids don't have a clue :-( Heck, replying to all on bmaid team emails is even a "must do" in my book when the bride is trying to pick dates for dress shopping, etc. that fit everyone's schedule!