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Wedding dress shopping – usually one of the first (and most fun!) wedding planning tasks you’ll check off! But how enjoyable of a process it is sometimes depends on how well you’ve planned for your bridal shop visits. We have lots of wedding dress shopping tips to share, but today, we’re focusing on one piece: whom should you bring wedding dress shopping?

A lot of folks will tell you to focus on the number of people you’re bringing to the appointment (usually to say, “don’t bring too many!”). We actually think the TYPE of people is much more important. You want to ask guests who will be supportive, kind, and excited for this step in your wedding planning process. You’re not really looking for guests who will make the experience all about them, or who will share their opinions in an overly judgmental way. If only your best friend falls into the first category? She’s the one who’s coming. If mama, mama-in-law, grandmama, sister, and best friend fit the bill? That sounds like a fabulous bonding experience. (Just be sure to check in with the bridal salon beforehand – some limit the number in your entourage because of space constraints!)

In my own dress shopping journey, I ran the gamut – my first appointment was with my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law, my second appointment was with my Mom and two sisters, and my third appointment was with just my Mom. Thankfully, they were all sweet experiences!

I’d love to hear: who/how many people did you bring to your dress shopping appointment(s)? How did it go?

P.S. Ready for more dress shopping tips? Check out our YouTube channel, where we have a series of four videos to take you from inspiration to purchase!

We’ll be sharing a quick and simple piece of wedding planning advice based on our most frequently asked questions once a week! Feel free to email us with your own question, or pick up a copy of the Southern Weddings Planner for all of our best resources in one place!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Maegan Loudermilk reply

    Shopping for your wedding dress is one of many experiences that most brides only dream of, and what a memorable one! When I went shopping for my wedding dress I made sure to bring with me my biggest support group, who would be honest but also just as happy and excited for me. I think as a Southern Bride, it’s most important to invite your mom. This wedding is not only for you and your fiancé, it is for her as well. Think about your grandmothers as well, they are often full of great advice. I also recommend inviting a close friend, whether it be your MOH or your trusty sister who will tell you how beautiful you are but also will be honest with the dress. Whoever you choose to invite, keep it small and intimate. This time is about you, and your moment! Enjoy every step of this process and enjoy this time that everyone celebrates you! Congrats!

  2. avatar Christina Hedges reply

    When I went dress shopping I wanted to keep it intimate. My sister and I actually went on the same day to get our dresses. She is 3 years older than me and got married 8 months after I did. We took our mom and that was ideal. We didn’t want to get a lot of opinions; since we were going together if we would have brought everyone included in both weddings there would have been 10 bridesmaids, two mothers in law, and our aunt and grandma and that would have gotten very muddy. So we decided on just our mom and the two of us.

  3. avatar Morgan reply

    It was just my mama and me. It kept it simple by not adding too many opinions to the mix and allowing me to purchase a dress that I really loved for the right reasons. Also, I really wanted to make it a special day for just us two…and it certainly was. :)

  4. avatar Lisa reply

    I went with just my mom and two sisters, and it was perfect for me. I wanted a super intimate experience and I didn’t want to be distracted by too many opinions. They were super supportive, honest, and excited for me–the perfect combination, I thought! :)

  5. avatar Tasia reply

    My wedding dress shopping experience was perfect! I surprised my mother-in-law and two sisters over thanksgiving with a trip dress shopping, and my mom (whose approval I got first) came with us as well. I wanted my whole wedding experience to be intimate and let my family know how special they were to me and the whole process. I opted to not invite anyone that fell in that second category.

  6. avatar Jenni reply

    I recently went wedding dress shopping and brought along my Mom and my two maids of honor. It went so perfectly! I ended up buying the third dress I tried on – my whole appointment only took an hour from browsing to checking out! I think the TYPE of people I surrounded myself with was most important – I value my Mom’s opinion always. My two best friends/MOHs balance each other out so well with their opinions and they always know what’s best for me. They all three cried as soon as I stepped out of the dressing room so we all agreed on THE ONE! I can’t wait to go back with this same group to pick out bridesmaid dresses because I know we’ll be successful :)

  7. avatar Anastasia Kristina reply

    I had my future mother in law and my mommy with me for my dress fitting! My mom and I flew into Houston because she and I knew that I wanted to have an appointment at BHLDN, and there aren’t many in America, but my fiance’s family lives in Houston – so it was perfect! When we drove to BHLDN, there was a designer dress pop-up sale next door, so we stopped by there first. I tried on all of these gowns that I had always imagined myself in, but they were so heavy and uncomfortable. It’s a good thing we headed to BHLDN next, where everything fell into place. My wedding planners had champagne waiting for us, the dresses were all beautiful, and I knew I had found the one once I tried it on! I can’t wait to wear it for real in June :)

  8. avatar Whitney Evans reply

    I love y’all but I have to say: it’s “Whom should I bring wedding dress shopping?”!

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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If you follow us on Instagram, you may have seen this little sneak peek we posted a few months ago…

And now, we’re delighted to unveil our latest endeavor, Southern Weddings TV! On our brand new YouTube channel, we’ll be sharing everything from wedding planning tips to Southern traditions to the latest and greatest Southern Weddings Shop products, and we can’t wait to hear what you think. Our first series of videos is a compilation of our very best dress shopping tips, filmed on location at the lovely Tre Bella Bridal in Durham, North Carolina.

First, we shared the prep work we recommend doing before you start dress shopping.

Next up, here’s how we suggest preparing for your appointments–so exciting!

At your appointment, here are a few things we recommend considering.

Finally, a few tips for making the decision!

We hope you enjoy these videos, and we would love to know, what would you like to see on Southern Weddings TV in the future? We’re all ears!

lisa Written with love by Lisa
  1. avatar Katie reply

    I love this! Such a fun way to get great advice as well as feel like I get to “talk” to the SW gals! I would love to hear a series on how to deal with people who invite themselves to your wedding, or who have strong opinions. :)

  2. avatar Jalyn reply

    I am so happy ya’ll are expanding to video! Can’t wait to watch them all! Great job ladies!

  3. avatar Kat reply

    I love this!!! Such a great idea ladies!!!:)

  4. avatar Staci reply

    Appreciate tthe recommendation. Will try it out.

  5. avatar Run games reply

    Greetings! I’ve been following your weblog for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Humble Tx!

    Just wanted to tell you keep up the good job!

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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Hello, belles! Our practical advice posts are some of the most popular in our archives, so I’m back to shed some light on another aspect of wedding planning: shopping for a gown. This is the advice I would have wanted to read before I began dress shopping for my own wedding; it turns out I had more to share than I thought, so hold tight! And if you think I missed something, be sure to chime in in the comments!


Pull inspiration. Start by gathering images of dresses that appeal to you (Pinterest, of course, is a great place to collect them!). Don’t worry if they vary widely or don’t seem to fit the type of wedding you’re having — at this point, you’re just trying to pull together a visual representation of your style. Take note of recurring features or designers.

Decide on your budget. To determine your gown budget, you’re going to need to have a firm handle on your entire wedding budget (we covered wedding budgets here). The industry rule of thumb is that the wedding gown generally makes up 10% of the overall budget, but that doesn’t resonate with me — I spent about 4% of our budget on my gown. However, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else is doing as long as it works for you!

Nail down the basics. The location, venue, and time of year of your wedding will likely have a big impact on the type of gown that feels appropriate for it. Make sure you’ve determined these basics before you begin dress shopping!

Two of the dresses I tried on in my search — see more here!


Start the process well in advance. Unless you’re planning to buy off the rack (think J. Crew or BHLDN), know that it can take 6-8 months for a custom gown to be made, ordered, and, if necessary, altered. If you have it, the 15-to-10-month-out time range gives you plenty of breathing room to avoid making a panicked decision (but only if you’ve established your basics!).

Choose your shop(s) carefully. There are nearly as many bridal shops as there are brides, so there’s certainly one out there that will be a perfect match for your personality. Do you want an intimate boutique experience? Or do you want to see as many gowns as possible? Are you in love with a particular designer? (It seems obvious, but make sure the boutique you’re headed to carries her line!) Does the shop offer a range of gowns/lines in your budget? Have your friends had a wonderful experience there?

Do your hair and makeup. On the day of your appointment, take a little extra time to do your makeup and hair — just the fancy version of your usual look! If you’re anything like me, this will help keep you from nixing gowns just because you’re not feeling super confident that day. In addition, if you are SURE you’re going to want to wear your hair up, put it in a bun or a ponytail. Same goes for wearing it down.

Ask the RIGHT people to come with you. Dress shopping tips often focus on the number of people to bring to an appointment, but I think the TYPE of people is much more important. You want folks who will be supportive, kind, and generally hesitant to share their thoughts unless you ask (ha!). Now is not the time for the opinionated or the attention-hungry. If only your best friend falls into the first category? She’s the one who’s coming. If mama, mama-in-law, grandmama, sister, and best friend fit the bill? I think that sounds like a fabulous bonding experience.

More dresses I tried on!


Bring inspiration… Again, a lot of advice pieces tell you not to do this, but I think that’s absurd — I certainly did! I brought four printed pages of my favorite gowns to communicate my aesthetic to my consultant.

…but be open to anything. The point of bringing inspiration is to share the look you love, NOT to box yourself into a specific gown or designer you’re committed to. Dresses often look and feel VERY different on you than they do in photos, so be open to trying on anything! Even if you are absolutely SURE you would NEVER wear that gown the consultant is holding up, try the dang thing on. What’s the worst that could happen? You’re there to try on dresses, so have fun! Respect your stylist’s expertise (they do do this for a living, after all), but respect yourself, too — it goes without saying that you should never feel pressured into actually buying a gown you don’t love. As a final note, I can’t tell you how many interviews I’ve read on this site from brides who ended up picking a gown 180 degrees different from what they originally envisioned :)

Only try on dresses in your price range. There’s no point falling in love with something you can’t afford, so be honest with your consultant about your budget. The only exception I’d make here is if you are committed to the idea of selling your dress post-wedding, like I did — then, I think it’s okay to wiggle the budget up a bit to compensate for the fact that you’ll recoup part of the cost later.

Be gentle with yourself. I expected dress shopping to be an easy experience — until I found myself in tears after my second appointment, convinced I’d never find a gown I loved. While I was pretty shocked and more than a little embarrassed to feel that way, it is what it is — don’t beat yourself up about it if you something similar happens to you, and don’t feel pressure to feel a certain way! That goes for “the moment,” too. Neither I nor my Mom cried at any of my dress appointments — I just felt calm and happy.

Photos from one of my dress fittings — more here!


Consider your husband. Yes, you’re the one wearing the dress, and yes, you should absolutely choose something that’s your style and that you feel beautiful in! But just as the wedding day is about the two of you, I think it’s worth a passing thought to consider your fiance’s style as you make your final decision. Know he hates anything too frilly or fussy? Save the rows of ruffles for your next black tie event.

Wait for a trunk show. Finally, if you’ve zeroed in on THE dress and have a bit of time before you need to order it, see if the designer will be having a trunk show nearby anytime soon. Most offer 10% off to those who order during the show, which can be a great way to save!

What do y’all think? Did I miss anything? How was your dress shopping experience? Painful, amazing, stressful, fun? How many shops did you visit or dresses did you try on? I’d love to hear!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Aimee McMurtrey reply

    Never disregard a style you might not think you like. My dress is a style and design I never thought I would look good in. I ended with a dress that is like a mermaid with very little too it. I knew that I want as simple as could be and I could not be more in love with my dress.

  2. avatar Lisa reply

    As always, Emily, so grateful for your wisdom! Even though I’d love to share the experience with my whole 8-person bridal party, I will either be shopping with just my mom or my mom and my sisters due to travel. I’m actually very happy that it’s going to end up being a small and supportive group!

  3. avatar Liza reply

    Thanks for the ideas! Did you sell your dress online after your wedding? I found the dress I want on one of the used dress sites for 50% of the price but I am hesitant to buy it online. Just curious if you had experience with this and if it was positive or negative.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Liza! Yes, I did! I actually did a private sale (not through a dress site – payment went through PayPal) because a gal approached me post-wedding before I even had a chance to list it. I’ve heard from LOTS of people who have had great experiences through dress sites, though, so I’d say go for it if it’s the dress you want!

  4. avatar Tiffany reply

    There were two things that were so obvious, yet I missed because I was not really ‘into’ wedding planning before. 1. You have to make an appointment at a bridal salon to look at dresses, so make sure you’ve secured enough time and don’t feel rushed. 2. Ask the salon you’ve made an appointment at what undergarments you should bring (if any) to try on the dresses. 3. If you have any heirloom jewelry you can’t see yourself walking down the aisle without, make sure you try the dress on with those pieces so they mesh well.

  5. avatar Katherine reply

    I completely agree with all of these! We found a Carrafina gown that was a bit more than what we initially had planned for, I kindly asked the store owner (who was also my consultant) if there was anything she could skim off the top. She took 10% off no problem and we walked out of there that day with the dress of my dreams!

  6. avatar Hannah reply

    As someone in the process of searching for the perfect dress these tips are wonderful! So far I have gone to one shop, found a dress I loved, then later that night after thinking about it questioned if I loved it after all as I felt I had found it so quickly. I definitely agree with bringing the right person. I am going back to the shop with my mom who I feel will help the decision process. Also, the famous it’s “the one” reaction. I too, was very calm and felt relaxed trying on dresses. (I think that has a lot to do with how I questioned it later) feeling like I need to have this dramatic “feeling”. Love all of your advice :)

  7. avatar Lauren reply

    Don’t be afraid to shop by yourself! I really liked looking on my own and then bringing back my mom and aunt.

    Also, like said, when you find the dress you dont have to buy right away. In addition to trunk shows, many boutiques have sales and take up to 20% off. Some boutiques promise to give the lowest price and will price match. You buy your dress so early that it’s easy to splurge but when you are scrambling for pennies the week before your wedding you will be happy you saved!!!

  8. avatar Amanda reply

    Could you tell me who makes the dress on the left in the second row of pictures? I think it’s an Amsale–I love it!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Amanda! Yes, that is the Amsale Melina, from her spring 2011 collection! Good eye :)

  9. avatar For the Perfect Day – Tip #6 | Michael & Laura Photography reply

    […] walked me through fitting, and picking the dress up.. they were fabulous.  And tip #3, go read this article from Southern Weddings.  It’s super helpful and practical!  So, I found the dress and immediately started […]

  10. avatar reply

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Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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