Every spring, my mom and dad trot off like spring chickens into a thick field, big empty baskets in hand, to pick a sweet fruit that has become a part of our family.
Soon after, the house is filled with the divine smell of brewing Southern dewberries and friends and family are happily enjoying a delicious Mason-jar-housed treat on biscuits and toast. I’ll let mom tell you, though. She tells the story of the dewberry best…
As the days begin to warm from the chill of winter, small soft white flowers appear oddly out of place in their surroundings. Fragile circles of rose-like petals, tinged with pink, pop up among the craggy vines and brown grasses. Anchored low to the ground, the blossoms flutter gently in the breezes. The message is simple. Spring is not far away; the dewberries are blooming. But the message is also rich and vivid, interlaced with memories of wild dewberry patches of the past, the carefree abandon of childhood, and the traditions making cobbler and jam.
Growing up in the South, we picked dewberries every spring. The southern dewberry, Rubus trivialis, is a member of the rose family and a close relative of the blackberry. Abounding with tiny thorns, the low trailing vines intertwine and entangle themselves and everything that grows among them. As the flowers fade, the hard green berries begin to appear. Over the next month, they turn red and tart, finally swelling quickly as they ripen into a shiny deep black burgundy. Although commonly referred to as blackberries, dewberries usually ripen several weeks earlier in May, and are larger, juicier and sweeter. Eaten by birds that spread their seeds, they grow wild along the roadways, in fields and empty lots, almost anywhere. The naked berry is picked by rolling it slightly away from the stem, keeping it from being crushed and leaving the bud stem on the vine. You can count on having purple tattooed fingertips and the lingering sting of tiny thorns. A just picked dewberry, musty and sweet, and warm from the sun releases a burst of juice and a flood of memories.
When I pick the berries, I think of my dad. One of seven children and the son of an Alabama sharecropper, he delighted in the local gifts of nature – scuppernongs, huckleberries, mayhaws and dewberries. I can hear his voice warning me to watch out for snakes. “You know that the snakes wait for the birds that come to eat the berries.” Although I have never seen a snake in the berry patch, I still heed his advice. He taught me to carry a stick and make some noise in the vines – a prelude warning of our presence. We would move about slowly and cautiously, not only to avoid a surprise snake sighting, but quick movements in the low thorny vines could painfully ensnare an ankle. With itchy stained hands, bug bitten and sunburned, we quickly forgot these hazards as we proudly admired our baskets of shiny berries.
My mother’s cobbler in the oven filled the house with fragrant drafts of warm, sweet dewberries baking under a blanket of tender spoon crust. Another supper dessert would be fresh berries and whipped cream – simple, elegant, perfect. And of course, there was jam, lots of jam. Tricky to make with just the right consistency, not too thin and not too firm, the jam was allowed to thicken naturally. A mixture of ripe and under ripe red berries and an entire chopped lemon would provide the needed natural pectin. Sealed in hot glass jars, stacked and beautiful, the sweet dewberries would last throughout the year.
It is that comforting ritual of jam and cobbler making that I continue in my kitchen today. From the sightings of the first blooms, to the memories of past berry patches, the dewberry, gleaned with both fear and pleasure transforms me to the vestiges of my childhood. The vivid memories of the past blend with the present. As a child in the dewberry patch, I’m still there. I never left.
Our pantry eagerly awaits new jars of dewberry jam from mom every year. When Ari was deployed, the sweet little dewberry even made it’s way to Iraq in a care page or two! If Ari and I ever did a vow renewal, you can guess what would be a part of our celebration. There are dozens of empty Mason jars lining our cabinets now, all still ripe with memories of each season we enjoyed their contents. If you saw a Mason jar on my wedding tables, this story would go right along with them. There is a history that makes my heart sing! There is a “meaning behind the Mason”.
There is nothing I love more in a wedding than seeing an authentic love story come to life through every photograph – from the love in the couples’ eyes to the special details that reflect their unique path. No random pretties just because they are pretty. No details just for detail sake. Not to pick on the poor Mason jar, but we see them too often used as… here come my least favorite words… a wedding “trend” with no meaning. Southern brides, you know what I mean! Mason jars aren’t “vintage”, they are part of our history. Our aunts and grandmothers and great grandmothers spent long hours in the kitchen canning to preserve the harvest crop through winter. What a delightful history that little jar has! When a wedding is infused with history, tradition and special meaning behind those little touches, your love is center-stage. Magic happens on the big day! Your guests are transported, inspired and you become closer to your nearest and dearest through the celebration of your wedding. Your wedding tells your authentic love story and you create memories that you will never ever forget. [P.S. – if anyone knows where that lovely photo above is from, can you let me know? I would love to credit this beauty!]
So, what is your love story and how are you telling it in your special details? Perhaps it’s as simple as using the same flower variety that your mother had in her bouquet or having your maids in Carolina Blue for your alma mater where you and your sweetie spent your first years of courtship. Perhaps it’s a little photo locket tied to your bouquet with pics of those closest to your heart, cupcakes baked from your aunt’s favorite recipe, a favorite fabric you found on a romantic weekend trip to Savannah with your man (that special trip when he first said the three special words… I love you!) on your cake table or a special love quote on your programs that your grandmother always echoed. Perhaps it’s the simple Mason jar… the same jars that were once filled with the poetic and perfect dewberry that are now filled with daffodils from your mother’s garden. Whatever it is, tell your beautiful love story in the details. Have fun with it and you may even get to know something new about your fiance and families in the process! [photo above source]
GIVEAWAY: Sound off! Tell us about some of your special wedding details and the meaning behind them. One lucky commenter will win a beautiful Ring Bearer Bowl from Paloma’s Nest! This beautiful bowl is sure to become a family heirloom that you can pass to your kids one day, too!
P.S. Congrats to the last post’s Father of the Bride gushfest winner Courtney Christian. All of your comments made my heart melt… OK OK!… there were some tears shed, too! Email us your mailing address, Courtney, and we’ll get your prize right to you.
We are trying to make everything very personal for our wedding. We started by hand making our save the dates and invitations. So, there are tons of little details we are including to make everything special. For example, I will carry the same handkerchief with me that my grandmother had on her wedding day. We will cut the cake with the same knife my grandmother used for her wedding. We will have pictures of our parents and grandparents on a table. And we will be spending an entire weekend with close friends and family as we celebrate the beginning of our married life. We can’t wait!
04/29/2012
Love it, Natalie! I’m so excited for you!
My grandmother passed away earlier this year and in her honor, we are serving mini pecan pies, just like the ones she used to make specially for me. I can’t wait to share that with our loved ones.
My favorite details are
1. The pearl earrings my grandmother bought for my mom in Guam when my grandparents were stationed there in the military decades ago – I’ll be wearing them with the pearl necklace I got from my parents for my 16th birthday
2. Third Presbyterian Church – The same church my grandmother married my grandfather in 1954
3. The bride’s table – I’ll have framed photos of my sister, mom, and grandmothers on their wedding day
Back in 1982, my parents got married at The Breakers in West Palm Beach. Nearly 30 years later, I am lucky enough to get married there too! It was my mom’s suggestion and of course I couldn’t say no to the sentiment and such a beautiful location. I plan on having their photo of the cake cutting right by our cake too :)
I LOVE The Breakers! Such a perfect wedding location with such rich history! Be sure to send us pics, Hannah. SO thrilled for you!
Lara: Thank you, Lara! So excited too…the wedding will be March 2012, and I will be sure to send pictures. My fiance is from North Carolina and I am from South Florida, so we are combining the two and having a Southern Shabby Chic Wedding by the Beach!!!
We’ll be incorporating a Chinese tea ceremony into our wedding day. My parents gave up everything they knew to start over in a new country for their children, so this is my way of honoring them and all they’ve given to me.
We have several details we’re incorporating into our wedding that has special meaning to us. For one, we’re getting married in Savannah, it’s not only where I was born and raised, but it’s where we had our first date. We were in a long distance relationship when we first started dating and he drove from Atlanta to Savannah to take me out on a fabulous first date complete with a horse drawn carriage ride around downtown. We’re having our rehearsal dinner at Vic’s on the River, where we ate on our first date. We’re even having the same shrimp and grits there that we had on our first date!
I plan to wear a gardenia in my hair. My grandmother was famous for wearing this flower in her hair every day when she was young.
Another detail we plan to incorporate is our collections – I have a collection of milk glass and together we have a collection of vintage cameras. I, too, hate the word “trend” but it has special meaning to us so we’re using them. I always like to be different. We both collected cameras before we even met so we just combined our collections together when we got engaged. He’s a videographer and I used to be an aspiring photographer so that is why we each started collecting them. Not to mention we love all things vintage!
I love the idea of incorporating the camera collection and that it’s not just something vintage but has meaning for you and your fiance. My father is a photographer, now professor, that collects old cameras. When I was a little girl, he gave me this 1957 Girl Scout camera. Needless to say, I loved it! http://pinterest.com/pin/12425083/
When we first met, my then-just-friend was about to be shipped off for training with the Army. We kept in touch by writing letters to one another. He wrote to me every day. It felt like WW2 as I excitedly checked the mailbox every day to see if another letter came from him! We got to know one another through these letters, and when he came back for holiday leave, we began dating.
Since the letters were our only form of communication, they became a very important part of our relationship and we decided that when we get married we will have a love letter themed wedding! We are designing the invitations with a romantic font and a (fake) postmark to appear like a hand written love letter, tied together with twine to give the invitation suite a vintage look! Our table numbers will be table-top frames, matted with vintage stamps. Though not completely thought out yet, some other ideas include: giving letter openers as favors, giving guests a chance to write love notes to us, and using a vintage looking typewriter as part of the decor.
Janice: I adore your love letter theme! Such beautiful memories to be shared! I think it would be so sweet if you set up a table with sheets of paper (echoing your colors) for the guests to type up love letters to you and your new husband on your typewriter and then have them place the notes inside an old mailbox (maybe painted a certain color with the flag up, would a heart instead of a flag be too silly?). Good luck with all your ideas!
Lauren Frances: What a cute idea! Hmm…I think maybe the heart thing could be pulled off. Thanks for the reply! Keep them coming!
Love this! One thing I’m really excited for is I am using my grandmothers Belgic Lace kerchief on my special day. I’m a crier, and when I mentioned it she almost teared up just with the idea of me using it, as she used it on her own wedding day 50+ years ago.
Our wedding is filled with personal touches. I’m creating the invitations and all other paper goods, the favors, and the decorations. My mother will be arranging the flowers and baking the cake. One important part of the wedding will be wearing Justin’s Great Aunt Minnie’s engagement ring on my right hand as I walk down the aisle. The ring has a sad story; Minnie’s fiance JT proposed before leaving for WWII and although he fought the good fight he was killed in action in the Pacific months shy of the war’s end. Because the ring never made it down the aisle in their lifetimes I will be honored to wear it on our wedding day in Minnie and JT’s memory.
There are a few different things that I am incorporating into our special day that are meaningful to us. 1. Growing up, when I would go visit my grandparents (Grandmommie and Dee) I would run straight into my grandmother’s room and put on make-up and her jewelry. One day when I was about to leave, and as I was taking her jewelry off to put it away, she told me I could keep one ring. It ended up being my grandfather’s sister’s wedding ring. On the inside it was inscribed C.N.P. to M.C.M. 5-8-28. His sister’s husband’s initials and hers, and they day they were married. I am planning on wearing the ring or attaching it to my bouquet as my something old, so that Grandmommie and DeeDee can be there with me in some way because they have since passed away. 2. My mom and her mom both carried a bouquet of long stemmed Calla Lillies in their weddings, and I will carry a bouquet with miniature Calla Lillies in it to keep the tradition. 3. This past weekend I went gown shopping. My fiance had an arrangement of a dozen roses sent to my last appointment that was waiting for me when I got there. It was the sweetest thing ever, and I ended up buying my dress there which made it even more special. In the arrangement there were 3 peacock feathers. I am going to have my mom make my garter, and attach one of the tops of the feathers onto it. 4. My fiance’s little brother’s life was taken a year and a half ago, so he is leaving his Best Man spot open because it was supposed to be his brother standing there.
We are getting married October 2012 so we don’t have all the details finalized yet but some of the special details include that I will carry my grandmother’s handkerchief with me. Possibly wrapped around my bouquet with a broach from my mom. My grandmother passed away when I was young so it’s very important to have a part of her with me on that day. When I got engaged my parents gave me her engagement and wedding rings and I will be having my wedding band made from hers. It’s very important for me to do this because my engagement ring is from my fiance’s great grandmother’s engagement and wedding rings. It will be so special to have a symbol of our families coming together with the two rings I will be wearing. We will also be toasting with my parent’s champagne flutes from their wedding. My fiance is from Texas and we got engaged in his hometown, along with my engagement ring he bought me a pair of cowboy boots for Christmas. They are beautiful and I am so excited to wear them on our wedding day. I hope that our wedding day is filled with many special details and that it is really a reflection of who we are. I can’t wait!
I am hoping to fill our wedding with tons of personal touches from growing up in small town Alabama to falling in love at The University of Alabama. My favorite aspect is a shout out to my grandmother. Nana has a very special place in my heart. I was her only grandchild for 16 years, so I was completely spoiled and share a million memories with her. To honor her, I am wearing her wedding dress in my engagement pictures. It is a 50s style knee-length eyelet dress. When I get married, there will be my engagement picture next to her wedding picture, and I will be wearing a special ring that she gave me. There a ton of other sentimental touches, but to describe it all would cause me to write a billion paragraphs! :)
[…] already knows that if she and Ari had a vow renewal, their tables would be lined with dewberry jam! Tell us what your love story is and the special meaning behind the details you’re including in your […]
I posted several of the traditions and memories to be incorporated into my wedding on the Father’s Day post, but I want to reiterate them again:
My daddy passed away when I was 16 years old from complications from lung cancer, and as most every girl’s dream is to walk down the aisle with her father, I will have to let the details of the wedding fill that void so that everyone sees how special he was to me and my family. We will be getting married in the church I grew up and was baptized in, and the reception will be on the farm I was raised on and where daddy raised cattle my entire life. I am wearing the veil my mother wore when she married my daddy almost 50 years ago. My Godfather – also my dad’s best friend since the Vietnam war – will walk me down the aisle. In honor of my daddy, my Godfather and I will dance to the “Tennessee Waltz” because I went to every Tennessee football game with my daddy since I was old enough to walk and that’s also where he taught me to whistle with my fingers. Instead of a groom’s cake, we are serving my grandmother’s blackberry cobbler recipe, a la mode. My dad’s cousin is decorating the reception and also designing the floral arrangements and bouquets. My fiance is designing our Save the Dates and my brother is designing/making our wedding invitations. With almost a year left to plan, I am sure we will incorporate more traditions as we get deeper into planning the big day…
Hands down, the most special wedding detail is the date. We are getting married 04.28.12. My grandparents, with whom I am extremely close, were married on 04.28.51; so it would have been their 61st anniversary. My grandfather passed away March 2010, so it means a lot to me to share this date with them. Another special detail is our reception venue. We booked our reception in a venue downtown. When I told my grandmother she informed me that my grandparents went to prom together at that venue. Another special (unexpected) detail for our wedding day!
My favorite wedding detail was spending about 45 minutes at AT&T Park (where the SF Giants play) with our photographers taking photos. We’re huge baseball fans, and there was so much magic in the air, with people having beers and lots of fun. It’s something we’ll never get to do again, and I know it’s something my husband really wanted to do. It really made us feel like we were celebs for a day. Baseball til we die!
My wedding will be in May 2012 so we still have a lot of individual details to go, but there are 2 we already set that really touch my heart. First, I knew I wanted a paper flower bouquet long before this style became all the rage. The detail that tells our love story is that the bouquet will contain pages from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. We met going to grad school for Shakespeare in Performance and the first night we met we went and saw Much Ado together. The bouquet will contain script pages of all the beautiful love scenes in that play!
Another detail that many guests may not even know about is Dan’s wedding ring. Dan’s mother passed away when he was in undergrad and he actually found out his father passed away the day he proposed to me (in his proposal he asked me to make the saddest day of his life the happiest. amazing.) In memory of them and as a testament to how madly his parents were in love with each other, we are making his wedding band by melting down and uniting their two wedding bands and adding a single emerald since that is my birthstone (my wedding band is a ring of sapphires, his birthstone). I can’t wait to put this incredibly meaningful ring on his finger and take a moment to think of my mother and father in law who can only be there in spirit.
We can’t wait to brainstorm more personal details and share them with our family and friends as we start the next chapter of our love story!
I have so many favorite details! My goal was to define our wedding using the words ‘sentimental’ and ‘family oriented’. We did just that!
Pictures are in my blog in the link connected to my name regarding all of the following :0)
My absolute favorite wedding detail was my brooch bouquet! I saw a few on certain wedding blogs a couple years back and instantly fell in love with the idea. I knew I would have to have one created for our wedding. Months before we were even engaged I started collecting brooches from thrift stores and most importantly family members. It was important for me to have a display of each and every person important to me in my bouquet. Especially my Grandmother & Grandfather who passed away before our wedding. In my bouquet I had my Grandfather’s ‘Knights of Columbus’ pin, my Grandmother’s favorite costume jewelery, including an antique locket and her ‘Colombiette’s’ pin. I was in the Girl Scouts for 14 years and included my ‘Gold Award’ Pin which was awarded to me by my Mother who was also my Girl Scout Leader. My husband and I met in High School, so I included a sparkly bobcat paw pin, our High School Mascot. My husband gave me his ‘Navy Wings’ to put on display as he is a Navy Pilot. My in-laws also helped me with my brooch collection by gifting me some of their prized family heirlooms. I was able to re-purpose my mothers wedding gown and use the lace from her dress as the ruffles underneath the bouquet itself. We also used the buttons from her sleeves to line the stem. The process of gathering the brooch’s was a joy for everyone. My family members and future family members could not wait to spot their brooch ‘donations’ in the finished product. It was to die for and my absolute prized possession!
My husband’s Alma Matter is the University of South Florida. After we were announced husband and wife, I surprised him by flashing my leg with my ‘USF Bulls’ garter. He was smiling from ear to ear. I am not good at keeping secrets and this was one I kept until the very end!
Both my father and my father in law are huge ‘Godfather’ fans, whenever the family’s are together they are either watching it on TV or quoting every movie line. With that said, my husband and I decided to hire a violinist to play during our ceremony for the main purpose of surprising our guests with the ‘Godfather Theme’ as soon as we were announced Husband & Wife. It was such a surprise for everyone! *Another secret we kept* It is hilarious to replay our video and see our guests faces, some with confusion and most with laughter!
My mother surprised me with my ‘something blue’ by re-purposing my late Grandmothers Diamond earrings with blue sapphires. They are stunning and sparkled on my ears on my wedding day.
Speaking of jewelery I was honored to wear our family heirloom which we call ‘The Lavalier’. This necklace has been worn by every woman on their wedding day in my family on my Father’s side starting with my mother, my 3 Aunts, my Paternal Grandmother, her sister, their mother and dating back to my Great Grandmother. It was so meaningful for my dad to place this necklace on me before I walked down the aisle. We both could not stop smiling!
My husband is obsessed with Back to the Future! He literally knows every single world to the entire trilogy and anyone who knows him, knows this! His Aunt and one of our Groomsmen and I were in cahoots to surprise him with a DeLorean for wedding photo’s. He was in shock! The pictures came out great and it is just added to the meaning and overall feel to our wedding day.
On to my absolute favorite detail the entire wedding, which was a complete surprise to me. My husband is in the Navy and I was in the Coast Guard, the Military has been a huge part of the both of our lives beginning in our High School days where we both attended ROTC. In ROTC we would take road trips to many competitions a year, during each road trip the group would pass time on the bus either watching ‘Top Gun’ on DVD or singing along to the Soundtrack. No this is not a joke! Every High School student on that bus knew the words to ‘You’ve lost that Loving Feeling’. Coincidentally one of the pilot’s from my husband’s squadron asked the DJ to play the song so all of the Pilot’s could serenade me before my husband removed the toss garter. Here I am sitting in a chair on the dance floor as my husband, his Navy friends and our High School ROTC friends & Instructor sang ….”You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips….” I have goosebumps writing this.
Our entire wedding was amazing. Everyone had a blast including the Bride & Groom. As you can see in my blog (where all of this is photo-documented by the way), I note that, IT IS ALL IN THE DETAILS!
This is a such a lovely post! The ‘This is how our story begins sign’ is from etsy.com seller ssanchez (http://www.etsy.com/listing/71069860/this-is-how-our-story-begins-rustic). Hope that helps :-)
I’ve been admiring Paloma’s bowls forever! I’d love to have one of my own!
My fiance and I have been together for so long– 10 years, since when we were 14– that we are incorporating a lot of special details into the wedding so we can really celebrate the long journey to our wedding day. Three of our details for our upcoming wedding on 8/20/11 stick out in my mind:
Each of our tables will be numbered 2000 through 2011 for each year we’ve been together and will feature a picture of us from that year. We got engaged in Venice in 2009, so we are serving prosecco for our toast and a bellini as the signature drink. I’m also going to be attaching my mom’s wedding ring (who passed away in 2009) and my grandma’s wedding ring (who passed away in 2010) to my bouquet so I can have them both there with me.
We are incorporating a couple of details that mean a lot to us in our wedding. The first thing is that I will be wearing the dress that my mom wore to her reception during our rehearsal dinner. It’s this beautiful maroon color 1970’s style halter dress that my mom sewed herself in place of a typical red dress for Chinese weddings. Since there was no way I could wear her wedding dress, this will be my way of honoring my mother. I will also switch to a traditional Chinese red dress during the last half of the rehearsal dinner to honor my new family. My fiancees favorite books growing up were Shel Silverstein so we are planning to incorporate images from the books in our wedding, for now its the cake topper, buttons, and in our program. But who knows, we may come up with some more details in the remaining time we have left!
We are having a cookie bar baked by his grandmother…bc she bakes a million italian cookies very Christmas…
The one detail I am most excited about is the new cupcake fad that my fiancé and I will be incorporating into our reception. He does not like cake and I babysit for a living. Obviously, kids and little things go together quite well. But to top if off, we are planning on making our own cupcakes based on cakes my fiancé does like… Boston cream, tres leche. So excited about this!
As for me, I am interested in photography and graphic design, so I will be making all of the invitations, programs, save-the-dates, etc… I also spent a whole month looking for a photographer. My fiancé and I will be spending a good 2 extra hours with the photographer doing a unique family shoot and a bridal shoot before the reception.
We had a few special details at our wedding to honor members of our families and as representations of us. First, my husband became interested in photography at a very young age, following in the footsteps of his mother. He is now in art school and credits the creative encouragement from his mother as a way for him to pursue a career in photography and video design. We knew we had to incorporate vintage cameras as a result and so they were sprinkled around tables at our wedding reception as a special symbol of his relationship with his mother. Also, my late grandmother has a special place in my heart and in my mother’s heart and we both miss her greatly. We couldn’t imagine simply placing a flower in her “place” at our wedding. We wanted to honor her in a way that made us feel more connected with her. My mother surprised me on my wedding day with a gift of a pearl bracelet. She actually had my grandmother’s long pearl necklace made into a pearl bracelet and another, shorter length pearl necklace. I wore the pearl bracelet and my mom wore the pearl necklace on my wedding day. We truly felt my grandmother’s presence with us the entire day. It was such a special part of our wedding, and something I treasure every day.
[…] Congrats to last post’s winner, Amanda Noel. Oh wow, all of the comments on that post were so inspiring! I can’t wait […]