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Hey SW mavens! Did y’all have a pretty/spooky/fabulous Halloween? I think Katharine is still on a high from the one holiday a year at least partially dedicated to the consumption of candy. But on to all things etiquette! Today’s query comes from a reader who’s planning a wedding in Greensboro:

“My wedding is next May in Greensboro, NC. My future husband and his groomsmen (including his father, who is best man) are all wearing light khaki suits. My family is confused about what my father should wear. Should he purchase the same “stone” colored suit to match the men in the bridal party? Or, since he is not technically a part of the groom’s party, should he wear a classic black suit? Our wedding is at 5pm indoors in a church. And while our ceremony is traditional, my groom was set on wearing the light khaki suits. To complicate things a little more, I have a step father. My mother feels that my step father should definitely wear a black suit, since he will not be playing an official role in the bridal party or wedding. Do you think this makes sense?”

Great question! It’s hard enough to coordinate a bridal party these days, isn’t it? Add in all the other moving family parts and things can get tricky pretty quickly, sartorially speaking. If your father wants to match the groom and his men and your groom (and his father, I suppose) were fine with that, I would say that’s an excellent option. You won’t need to worry about finding another appropriate outfit, and everyone is guaranteed to look cohesive.

I also love, however, when the parent on either side doesn’t match exactly but coordinates. Perhaps your Dad could wear the same suit, but a different tie (still within your color scheme, of course). Or, conversely, maybe he could wear a black suit but the same tie as the groomsmen. To give you an example, the groom and groomsmen at my sister’s wedding this summer wore khaki pants, a navy blazer, and a navy and yellow tie. My Dad wore the same thing. The groom’s Dad, however, wore a khaki corduroy blazer and navy pants along with the navy and yellow tie. My Mom wore a blue dress, and the mother of the groom wore yellow. Everyone looked (both together and individually) fantastic!

If you’re worried about the black suit looking too harsh or overly formal next to the khaki, I’d suggest a gray suit. The same goes for your step father: gray or black is perfect, and though he could choose to coordinate his accessories in some way to your color scheme, it’s not necessary.

I hope that answers your question! Readers, what do you think? Weigh in in the comments section! And if you have an etiquette conundrum of your own, don’t hesitate to email me at emily at iloveswmag dot com.

Photo in post by Kate Murphy. Photos in header by Millie Holloman.

emily Written with love by Emily
4 Comments
  1. avatar Adrienne reply

    On the subject of having the groom’s father as the best man, must he also wear the same thing as the groomsmen? Is it it appropriate for him to wear something else? I ask because my groom will be in a charcoal suit, my groomsmen in a lighter gray, and my father in black. Would it be too distracting at the altar and in photos with so many disparate colors?

  2. avatar Madolyn smith reply

    Hi,
    I am getting married in October 2016. My wedding colors are rose pink (blush) for the bridesmaids and the groom and groomsmen will wear a navy suit . I am confused on what the fathers should wear ? Do they also wear navy suits just with a diff tie or should my dad wear a darker grey suit ?

  3. avatar Step Mother Of The Groom Dress Etiquette | Supreme Wedding Dress reply

    […] Southern Etiquette :: Father of the Bride Attire – But on to all things etiquette! Today’s query … And while our ceremony is traditional, my groom was set on wearing the light khaki suits. To complicate things a little more, I have a step father. My mother feels that my step father should definitely … […]

  4. avatar Step Mother Of The Groom Dress Etiquette | Get Beautiful Wedding Dresses reply

    […] Southern Etiquette :: Father of the Bride Attire – But on to all things etiquette! Today’s query … And while our ceremony is traditional, my groom was set on wearing the light khaki suits. To complicate things a little more, I have a step father. My mother feels that my step father should definitely … […]

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How did Sarah + Ryan know I love square reception tables?  Cause I do… a lot, especially when decorated by Noveau Flowers + photographed by Paul Johnson Photography.  S + R celebrated their marriage at The Village Green where the highlight undoubted was their all-white Confections on the Coast wedding cake and chocolate Dessert Designs groom’s cake.  Want to see more?  Take a peek at Paul + Mechael’s blog post here.  I hope you all have a great + sunny weekend, wherever you are.

What was Southern about your wedding? Since our wedding was on the beach, I wanted the guys to wear light khaki suits with light blue and white seersucker shirts.  They wore soft green ties with a light blue and white paisley.
Describe your wedding flowers: I carried an elegant bouquet of white peonies hand-tied in a textured aqua fabric that matched the bridesmaids dresses.  My Starfish Pin (something old) was pinned to the bouquet.  The girls’ bouquets were simple arrangements of white ranunculus, dahlias, viburnum, freesia and fern curls tied in pool blue ribbon.  My flower girl carried one single white peony with pool blue ribbon streamers. 
Describe your wedding cake:  The wedding cake was a beautifully-detailed three-tiered confection with white-on-white sugar flowers and a lace pattern inspired by an Oscar de la Renta wedding dress I loved.  The groom’s cake was a two-tiered chocolate-on-chocolate cake with the same Oscar de la Renta inspired detailing.
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day?
The ceremony.  Looking around at all of the family and friends who love you and support you is a really overwhelming feeling.
Did you write your own vows?  If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line?  We didn’t write our own vows, but we didn’t say traditional vows, either.  Our vows went like this: I, Sarah, take you, Ryan, to be my husband, my friend, my love, and my lifelong companion; to share my life with yours; to build our dreams together, while allowing you to grow with your dreams; to support you through times of trouble, and rejoice with you in times of happiness; to treat you with respect, love and loyalty through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together; to grow with you in love, and to be faithful to you alone, as long as we both shall live.

Congratulations, Sarah + Ryan!  We wish you a lifetime of laughs and happy memories.


Written with love by Southern Weddings
2 Comments
  1. avatar WeddingXpert reply

    Amazing. All the class of a true southern wedding! The fresh, green centerpieces and bamboo placemats were neutral, refreshing, and beautiful. I also loved the fresh white linens with an outdoor "lounge". So very lovely!

  2. avatar The Thirty-Something Bride reply

    I generally don’t like to post comments on larger wedding website because I feel that planners/photographers/wedding websites are making it more about the visual "image" of a wedding versus what a wedding ceremony/celebration really is. That being said, this is incredibly beautiful. It’s what my wedding would have looked like if I’d had an extra $10K laying around! Same color palette and simple elegance. Thanks for sharing.

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If you’re looking for Southern inspiration, look no farther than Alexis + Thad’s Kentucky wedding at the historic Locust Grove plantation, courtesy of Todd Nichols Photography.  The SW girls love how Alexis, in true Southern fashion, paired hot pink heels with her lacy Casablanca gown.  The bridesmaids’ deep blue J. Crew frocks remind us that navy is a great (and more summery!) alternative to basic black, and the perfect complement to bright pink bouquets, courtesy of Flowersong Designs. 

How did the two of you meet?  Tell us your story.  We met during college through mutual friends.  I am originally from North Carolina but went to college at the University of Kentucky where I met several of Thad’s hometown friends.  Thad and I began dating after we had known each other for about a year.
Describe the proposal.
My family was vacationing at Hilton Head Island, SC and has planned a day trip into Savannah, GA. Thad had decided to propose that same weekend, as it would mark our 6 year anniversary.  He had asked my father’s permission and they had planned out the day.  After sightseeing and eating at Paula Deen’s restaurant, Thad proposed in front of a monument in one of Savannah’s historical squares.
Three adjectives that describe the day are:
 Breathtaking, unforgettable and exciting!
What was the design inspiration for your wedding invitation?
  The invitations had taupe and navy font on cream linen paper.  Historic Locust Grove inspired lots of the things for the day.
What was your favorite design element of your big day?
  We loved the idea of having a casual yet elegant ceremony with Southern flair.  Our attendants did not wear traditional tuxes or bridesmaids dresses.  Instead, we opted for khaki suits with navy knee-length dresses and hot pink shoes.  Even I wore hot pink!  Our programs were old-fashioned parlor fans created with our monogram and program information.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was:
 Celebrating the day with our closest family and friends, and dancing to a great band!
Tell us about finding your wedding dress: I went shopping with my mother and sister; we wanted it to be an intimate event.  I knew I wanted something comfortable and elegant, but suitable for an outdoor wedding.  I tried on dresses for over four hours but kept coming back to the same dress.  I was very indecisive until I made my sister try on both dresses so that I could see them on someone else. When I finally put on my wedding dress and came out of the dressing room, everyone stopped and stared, and that is when I knew it was “the one.”

Written with love by Southern Weddings
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