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Abby and Cameron may not remember exactly when they first met, but I’m sure they’ll always remember everything about November 2, 2013. From the sweet morning Abby spent with her family, to the letters the couple exchanged around a corner in lieu of a first look, to their prayerful ceremony, to the family reunion feel of their outdoor reception, joy radiates from Abby and Cameron in every single one of their wedding day moments, captured beautifully by Jess Barfield. Don’t miss Abby’s recollection of her most memorable moment especially–it’s a wonderful reminder that every detail doesn’t need to be perfect in order to have your perfect wedding day!

I knew I wanted our wedding to be outdoors, and we wanted everything to have a family feel to it, so our venue was a house! Friends of ours recently restored a farmhouse that’s over 100 years old. The family is so dear to my heart, and they were extremely generous to allow us to have our wedding there. I couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect place.

I had always thought I wanted a very mature-looking, fitted lace dress, since I have a pretty youthful look. I tried on what felt like a million of those and nothing seemed to click. One of my best friends had me try on a different style (one that my mom and aunt were trying to get me into all day) and I immediately knew I had found the dress for me! It fit my personality–it was more whimsical, fun, flowy, a little vintage, and I could dance in it (hello, a must!).

Did you decide to do a “first look”? Why or why not? We didn’t end up going with a first look. I wasn’t opposed to it, but Cam really wanted to experience the moment he first saw me in the context of our ceremony and worship! It was really special. Instead, we exchanged letters before the ceremony, which was one of my favorite moments of the day. It also allowed us to get a few cute pics!

What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? There were so many sweet moments I’ll never forget, like seeing Cameron tear up at the end of the aisle or the time with my immediate family the morning of the wedding. However, one of the funniest moments happened with my dad only minutes before we walked down the aisle. All of my bridesmaids had gone before me and my dad and I were waiting inside the farmhouse to go next. I stood up to peek out the window and snagged my dress on something on the floor! The whole bottom hem of my dress was hanging off. My dad looked at me to see how I was going to react and then we both just started laughing–what else can you do? He ended up cutting the hem off and we walked on out and down the aisle. We said we wouldn’t tell anyone (sorry, Dad), but it really helped me realize that not everything had to be perfect in order to have a perfect wedding day.

We didn’t have any readings, other than what our pastor read in his message. Instead, we had a time of worship, which was really important to us. Our number one goal for the ceremony was to create an atmosphere where the Lord was receiving all of the glory, honor, and praise. Worship was the most practical way for us to do this. It was so powerful and I will truly never forget those moments!

From the cotton in the floral arrangements to the rustic barn filled with chickens, the whole night felt very Southern. We had Texas BBQ and drank Nashville sweet tea. The band was located off the back porch, Louisiana-style, which made the reception seem laid-back and more like a big, fancy family reunion!

What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? Probably the weather. We didn’t have a plan B, which, in retrospect, might not have been the best idea. I wanted everything outside, so we strung some outdoor lights in the trees and prayed for clear skies. It rained the entire week before my wedding and didn’t stop till Thursday–yikes! We brought in lots of hay and the groomsmen laid it down on some of the muddy parts of the land, which worked out great!

Describe your wedding cake or dessert. My grandmother, Omee, recently passed away. We were extremely close and I wanted her to be a part of the wedding in some way. Her favorite kind of cake was strawberry, and thankfully, Cameron and I both love strawberry cake as well, so we had “Omee’s Strawberry Cake” for our wedding cake. Cameron is also a lover of all things peanut butter, so his groom’s cake was chocolate peanut butter.

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. I remember first meeting Cameron at a spontaneous glow-in-the-dark dance party at a friend’s house during my first year at Baylor, but if you ask Cameron, he claims to have met me a year before, when I was visiting my older sister at school during my senior year of high school and his first year of undergrad. To this day, we still argue about who’s actually right–I always joke that it must not have been a very good first impression. We became really good friends throughout college, led a small group together at church, and attended several sorority/fraternity functions together. Cameron eventually asked me out on a date and I said no (whoops). He asked me two more times before I finally agreed. Needless to say, he won my heart and the rest is history!
Tell us all about the proposal! Cam knew I had always wanted to be surprised. I’m a tricky person to surprise though, so I knew I wasn’t going to be going on any random manicure dates with my best friends, or being asked to wear a pretty new dress on the day of my engagement. But at the very least, I was expecting to look somewhat presentable! The morning of my engagement, I was bombarded by my roommates from college sometime before the sun came up. I was blindfolded, thrown in a car, and dropped off on a bridge overlooking the river downtown. I know…creepy. But then, I took off my blindfold and there he was! He popped the question and I said yes! He planned out the whole rest of the day for us (which included my much-needed manicure and a new dress). The day ended with a HUGE party where my whole family surprised me. It really was the greatest!
When did y’all get married? November 2, 2013
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 325
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? Originally, we had planned to write our own vows, but we ended up dropping the idea once we got closer to the wedding and went with traditional ones.
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. I walked down the aisle to a mash-up of “What God has Joined Together” by Laura Hackett and “My Soul Sings” by Cory Asbury. The first song is filled with Scripture we wanted to be sung over our marriage. It was really powerful and paved the way for an incredible ceremony. The second song is my favorite worship song. The ceremony was my absolute favorite part of my wedding day, and these songs and the people that sang them really made it a dream come true. We walked out to “Colorful” by Will Reagan & the United Pursuit, which was super upbeat and fun! Our first dance was Frank Sinatra’s, “The Way You Look Tonight.” I LOVE that song and I’m not opposed to sharing it with the millions of other couples out there. My dad and I danced to “Save the Last Dance For Me” by Michael Buble, and oh my stars, it was quite a show.
Describe your wedding flowers. We wanted the flowers to match the feel of the farm–organic, natural colors, nothing extravagant, really raw and earthy. I guess you could say I’m a minimalist at heart. We used cotton and wheat and threw in some big garden roses, hydrangeas, and ranunculus. I wanted the natural beauty of the venue to speak for itself and I felt like the flowers helped do just that!
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: My favorite detail of the wedding was the words I attached to my bridesmaids’ bouquets. I wanted to honor all of them individually and intentionally. At my bridal luncheon, I encouraged each girl by giving them a descriptive word or characteristic that the Lord has taught me through them (ex. joy, humility, compassion). I then attached the words to their individual bouquets for them to carry during the ceremony.
Did you have something borrowed, blue, old, and new? If so, do tell! I did! I borrowed some lipstick (that counts, right?) and wore blue panties (risky, but they didn’t show through the dress!). My something old was a ring my grandmother who passed away had sewn into her own wedding dress, and my something new was my cute new Kate Spade earrings!
What is the one detail or vendor that you were so happy to have as a part of your wedding? My photographer, Jess Barfield. At the beginning of planning, I knew there were only one or two things I was willing to use a good chunk of my budget on, and photography was one of them. It was well worth it! Jess was such a blessing the day of the wedding and leading up to the big day. She was peaceful and helpful, like a best friend! She also captured every moment beautifully! I was so happy to have her.
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? Stay thankful!!! I remember when Cameron and I were dating, all I wanted was for us to be engaged, and when we were engaged, I just wanted to be married. Looking back, I realize how thankful I am for our process and I wish I would’ve realized that more while I was experiencing it. There will always be something more you’ll want for your wedding that you can’t seem to make work, or something you plan that doesn’t turn out right. Stay thankful for the process you and your fiancé are in and for the details that are working out for your special day. It makes planning much more fun and stress-free!
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you most looking forward to about married life? Our next big adventure is law school! We’re excited to conquer a new city together and figure out married life at the same time. I think we both agree that we’re most looking forward to chasing our dreams together. It’s so fun to tackle a dream with someone else!

Photographer: Jess Barfield / Videographer: Jeff James / Planner and Florist: Alissa Neely / Venue: Magnolia Farms / Catering and Cake: JD’s Catering & Coffee / Bride’s Gown: Watters / Paper Products: Oh Ollie / Bridesmaids’ Dresses: “204140” and “204150” by Mori Lee / Men’s Attire: J. Crew / Day-of-Coordinator: Allison McBrayer of Dot & Penny

lisa Written with love by Lisa
10 Comments
  1. avatar Mary reply

    I love love love this wedding! Such a sweet story of thoughtfully putting their special day together. I also ADORE Jess Barfield’s work and have a major crush over Joanna’s style and her restored farmhouse.

  2. avatar Beane and Company reply

    Beautiful! So soft and intimate…the photographer did a great job of capturing it!

  3. avatar Kristin reply

    Their joy is contagious and just leaps off the page and I ADORE the picture of Abby + Cameron reading their love letters.

  4. avatar Amanda {Planning It All} reply

    Beautiful wedding! The restored farmhouse was the perfect venue!

  5. avatar WrightBride reply

    So gorgeous! Love that they looked like they had a great time- and seems like they might’ve had a bit of a worship session during the ceremony..
    Hope they have a blessed marriage :)

    thewrightbride.tumblr.com

  6. avatar Dana reply

    what a joyful couple!

  7. avatar Kelly reply

    What style is the bride’s beautiful dress?

  8. avatar Life and Love in the South, Vol. 8 – Southern Weddings Magazine reply

    […] Abby + Cameron‘s wedding by Jess […]

  9. avatar Diferentes variantes del first look o primer encuentro | Popelin Happy Weddings reply

    […] I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I […]

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You have no idea how excited I am about this post – just ask Emily! I sent her my inspiration for this post a while back, and I’ve been dying to share it with y’all ever since. I wish I had seen this idea before my wedding, as I would have done it in a heartbeat.

As you know, I’m a traditional gal, so I didn’t see my handsome groom before I walked down the aisle, and like I said before, it was the right decision for us. But had I been able to hold BDK’s hand moments before walking down the aisle, I know my jitters would have instantly been calmed.

Like having your daddy step in, we’re seeing another twist on the first look: some couples are opting for a few sweet moments before their ceremony to just be together, but without seeing each other. If you tend to get nervous, or know that you’ll want that little bit of extra time with your beau, but don’t want to fully commit to the first look, this is a great option. Not to mention, you get these amazing images to cherish for the rest of your lives!

Top to bottom: Aaron Shintaku, Melissa Young, Gina Leigh via Peanut Butter Fingers, Three Pennies

What do you think about this alternative to the first look? Would you try it, or did you?

Missed our other first look alternative? Check it out here! I’ll warn you though, you might need to bust out the tissues!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
10 Comments
  1. avatar Annie reply

    I love this alternate first look–it’s the perfect idea for brides who don’t want to give up that traditional altar moment and gives some beautiful pictures. My husband and I did a regular first look, which worked really well for us. (I was glad that we had a little privacy beforehand.) But I’m so happy couples have so many options these days and can figure out what’s best for them.

  2. avatar Dianna reply

    Surprisingly, my husband-to-be is the one who doesn’t want to see me until I make my way down the aisle. I’m hoping that maybe I can convince him to do this, just to help ease my jitters!

    • avatar Marissa reply

      My husband didn’t want to see each other before as well. I wish I had seen this then. It’s a great compromise.

  3. avatar The Friday Fresh Squeeze | Floridian Weddings reply

    […] groom, the veil blowing in the wind, the reception, it was gorgeous!Photography by Jessica Lorren This is a fun idea for a picture instead of having the first look photos. I can only imagine how difficult pulling off […]

  4. avatar « First look », la nouvelle tendance photos pour votre mariage | Marius & Co. reply

    […] Source […]

  5. avatar Lindsay reply

    But– what if your site doesn’t have a door?

  6. avatar Traditions: Plan or Pass | Backstage | The Williford Wedding reply

    […] Melissa Young via Southern Weddings […]

  7. avatar Couture Boudoir | Atlanta Photographer reply

    So cute! If your site does not have a door you can use anything with a corner and have the bride and groom stand on either corner for the same effect.

  8. avatar Traditions: Plan or Pass – Weddingbee reply

    […] Melissa Young via Southern Weddings […]

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As a bride who is currently wrestling with the whole question of the “first look,” this Southern Spotting spoke very strongly to me.

Josh, the groom, knowing that his bride Katie was going to be anxious on the morning of their wedding, worked with the ladies of Ritzy Bee to pull off an elegant surprise breakfast for just the two of them. Goodness, if that’s not romantic, y’all, I don’t know what is!!

It’s also the perfect solution for couples who want to keep with tradition and not see each other in their wedding day finery until they meet at the ceremony, but who also know that nerves are going to be a larger-than-normal issue.

I’ve always been pretty opposed to first looks for myself, and since John is pretty traditional, assumed we wouldn’t be doing one. However, he already feels he’s going to be extremely anxious that morning, and I know seeing his best friend would calm him down :) We’re also trying to weigh the benefits of taking portraits before the ceremony so we can get the most out of our time with Tanja! I’m sure I’ll write about this more in a future post, but tell me: Are you and your groom doing a first look? And would you consider a surprise breakfast instead?

Huge thanks to Bryan Johnson for sharing these lovely images! You can read a bit more about the morning on his blog.

emily Written with love by Emily
15 Comments
  1. avatar Nicole reply

    Too sweet! I love this idea and think it’s a great way for couples to get a little one-on-one time without stepping over any traditions.

  2. avatar Larry Hammack reply

    Emily… I am one of those contemporary traditional guys that abhors the ‘First Look’…it spoils it for the family of the groom.. that ‘Look’ he has on his face when he sees his bride in her dress is so priceless and when the couple does the first look, it’s selfish. However, this idea is absolutely the best new thing to come along.. so romantic… refreshing, no pressure. LOVE IT!!!!

  3. avatar Linden reply

    We did a first look and it was fabulous! My husband is very traditional and was pretty opposed to it for a lot of the wedding planning, but he finally agreed. I didn’t think I’d be nervous on the wedding day but then things happen and I was stressed and just being able to see him and have those moments alone before we were surrounded by people was wonderful! It was honestly one of my very favorite parts of our wedding day and helped me calm down so that I was not nervous walking down that aisle! I would definitely consider it! Plus, it really helps to take all your pictures before so that after the ceremony you can get to the reception! Fun fun!!!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Thanks so much for weighing in, Linden! It’s so hard to decide, because almost everyone who does a first look says they’re so happy they did, and everyone who doesn’t says they’re so happy with THEIR choice! Oh well, at least we still have a few more months to decide! :)

  4. avatar Elizabeth reply

    I could never see myself doing a first look (It has to be walking down the aisle!) But I absolutely LOVE the idea of the surprise breakfast! Might have to sneak this page into my fiance’s inbox :)

  5. avatar Sierra reply

    This is just adorable! What a wonderful idea!

  6. avatar Caitlin (Bayside Bride) reply

    This is such a great idea! I am all about tradition, but knowing that most brides get those wedding day nerves, this is a perfect solution to calm each other down.

  7. avatar Kristen reply

    I love love, LOVE this idea!! Wow!! Both hubby and I were opposed to a first look – we wanted that moment at the ceremony, and it absolutely was. It was a moment neither of us will ever forget. This breakfast is so romantic, and I don’t think it ruins the first look because as you say – no one is dressed in that wedding garb yet.

    If I could do it again – I would strongly consider this option!

  8. avatar Natalia reply

    I die. Sweetness overload. Seriously. No words, just smiles. :)

  9. avatar Brittany reply

    I LOVE love this idea. We are already planning to do a first look, but now I am considering doing this, too! Such a sweet sentiment and I really love the idea of beginning the first day of the rest of your lives having breakfast together!

  10. avatar Hannah reply

    We are definitely doing a first look! I thought my parents might not like it since we are already breaking a little bit of tradition by having a friend officiate for us, but my mom actually thought it was a great idea! I know I will be nervous, and I can’t imagine waiting for him to see me at the same time as everyone else. When he sees me the dress will still be a surprise and I know he will still cry- it will just me a more personal, intimate moment.

  11. avatar Kyla reply

    I’m from Canada and I guess this is a geography thing but according to my mother, it’s taboo for anyone who is not the bridesmaids or the bride’s immediate family (parents, siblings) to see her before the ceremony at any point during the day. While I think this is super romantic, this won’t be happening for us! I’ll probably be a tad nervous but I know that once I lock eyes with my man at the end of that aisle, that’ll all float away like a balloon! XD

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Kyla! No, I don’t think it’s a geography thing! Many stateside (and many Southern!) couples would agree with you. We just thought this was an interesting alternative for those not completely stuck on holding with tradition!

  12. avatar Maegan reply

    We did a first look at our wedding in December for 2 reasons – we knew that we’d both be nervous and it would help us relax to see each other and since the sun sets so early, we wanted to take most of our pictures before the ceremony. Our first look pictures are some of our favorites from the entire day! The look of pure happiness and love on both of our faces is awesome. Plus, to be selfish, it was SO nice to have about 20 minutes to ourselves, with only the photographer there. We were separated again after the pictures, so we both had the excitement level built back up when I came down the aisle. Good luck in your decision!

  13. avatar Anna Belle reply

    We weren’t going to do pictures before the wedding, but as we started putting together the day of timeline, we realized how much we’d actually be sacrificing if we disappeared for an hour after the ceremony to take photos. We want to be able to leave by boat and spend a few minutes alone after the ceremony and we want to be able to enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests. We wouldn’t be able to do either of those things if we waited to do pictures.

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