Southern Weddings

Melissa + Dan wed at {Shack Up Inn} by Megan Ramer of the Chicago Community Mennonite Church.  Through out the ceremony, the Clarksdale Community Gospel Choir performed, singing sweet hymns like O Happy Day.  Details included: flowers by The Flower Bouquet, paper goods by {Mok Duk}, photography by {Benjamin Chan}, month-of coordination by {Andria Lewis Events}. More to come from this fantastic wedding. 

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story: Melissa: We met through mutual friends of ours. I was a sophomore in high school and he had recently graduated. His interest in me was immediately apparent (read: several phone calls a week and lots of instant messenger flirtation). At the time, I thought he was really cute and lots of fun, but I really wasn’t interested in dating. We became great friends instead – I think this was strategic on his part. By the end of my senior year, he had successfully bated me with desserts, movies, and his cool-guy, Chicago lifestyle (I lived in a suburb just outside the city). We started officially dating the summer I graduated high school and kept things going long-distance for two years and then for another four years, after I moved to Chicago, before our engagement. Dan: I met Melissa through one of my friends who was dating one of her friends. The first time I ever saw her, I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I’d laid my eyes on. But despite my best efforts, Melissa was pretty successful at keeping me at bay for a few years or so. However, it wasn’t too long before she began to see things my way; we finally kissed in the summer of 2002 and it’s been a wonderful and life-affirming experience ever since.

Describe the proposal: Dan: I picked up the ring around the beginning of February, and immediately started brainstorming romantic and memorable ways of proposing to Melissa. Over the course of a week, I had pretty much gone out of my mind in trying to come up with something that felt natural and was also really charming, etc. But on Sunday the 10^th of February, we had dinner planned and I admitted to myself that I didn’t want to wait any longer—I couldn’t wait to see the ring slip on her finger and see the look on her face. So as we ate dinner, I secretly fumbled with the ring underneath the table and tried to carry on with normal conversation. After dinner as we were sitting and talking to each other while holding hands across the table, I casually slipped the ring on her finger and watched her jaw drop; I didn’t see much after that though, because I started to tear up as I finally choked out what I’d been waiting far too long to say: “Will you marry me?”

What attracted me to my husband was: Melissa: Dan is so easy to be around. From the first few times we hung out together, I was struck by how comfortable I felt with him, how quickly we could find dumb things to keep us amused, and how great he was at making thoughtful conversation. I was, maybe, a little shy when we first met, but he really drew me out of myself and he continues to do so. I think we energize each other. He is and has always been an amazing friend and an all-around beautiful person. I feel honored and so incredibly happy to be married to him today.

What attracted me to my wife was: Dan: I wasn’t always the best kid in high school or even college; I sort of partied and tried my best to not take life too seriously. But I saw something in Melissa that made me want to be a better person. She loves people and hates injustice, she is highly motivated and has plans for her life, she has a beautiful spirit and she and I have a very similar sense of humor. Not to mention, she’s downright gorgeous, the most beautiful woman I know. But what really set her apart for me was that she is able to carry all of that beauty on very humble shoulders and when she looks at me, I can see that she cares about me and wants me to lead a fulfilled life; it makes me want to do everything I can possibly do to also see her happy and fulfilled as well.

A date we went on that we’ll always remember: Melissa: We went on the most random dates the first summer we dated. I remember one evening in particular when I met Dan in Chicago after work, and, since we couldn’t think of any shows we wanted to see, Dan suggested setting out to look for a pair of nunchucks. I don’t think there was ever much of an explanation as to why he wanted the nunchucks. We ended up spending several hours roaming Chinatown purchasing all kinds of cheap stuff, which did include a pair of plastic nunchucks. Somehow we found all of these weird souvenirs, especially the ones with packaging containing terrible misspellings, really funny. Afterwards, he treated me to my first bubble tea and some mango chicken fried rice. That’s how it is with us – we find the stupidest things to entertain ourselves. We’re really good at just enjoying one another’s company.

The weather on our wedding was: Melissa: The forecast for our wedding weekend was not good at all. It was supposed to be sunny and perfect the week leading up to our wedding and then overcast with an 80 percent chance of scattered showers over our wedding weekend. Many of the weekend’s events were going to be held outdoors, including the ceremony, so I was pretty nervous – I had my mom praying a lot. As it turned out, there was a heavy downpour of rain that lasted for five minutes Friday morning and that was it. The rest of weekend was gorgeous, cool and breezy – somewhere in the high-70s. It was absolutely beautiful.

What was the design inspiration for your wedding? Melissa: With a big, fancy Chicago wedding costing upwards of 20K, we quickly decided on making our event very low-key and begun looking outside the Chicago area. We had lots of great memories traveling through northern Mississippi — much of my family lives in southern Mississippi and Louisiana — so we decided on a Delta destination wedding that would really play up the local flavor. A kitschy B&B (“Bed and Beer”) called the Shack Up Inn in Clarksdale, Mississippi was the perfect setting for our non-traditional event. The property was filled with rusted-out farm equipment, blues memorabilia, and all kinds of vintage knick-knacks, set amongst refurbished shacks to accommodate guests, an old cotton gin, and a commissary that had been converted into a great juke joint. We ended up turning the carport onsite into a chapel of sorts and using the commissary for our reception festivities.

Favorite design element of your big day: Dan: The flowers. We had some difficulty with florists understanding what we wanted to do. Most seemed to think we wanted to bring some sort of ultra-elegant or extremely formal arrangements into our setting, and that got to be a bit frustrating. However, once we were introduced to Craig at the Flower Bouquet in Clarksdale, we knew we had a winner. Craig understood the designs we were looking for immediately and was a pleasure to work with on the business-side as well; his quotes were always timely and reasonable and the amount of work they put into building the arrangements on the day of the wedding was incredible. Their work really helped bring some intimacy into our locations while still staying within the theme of our wedding. Melissa: Ah, it’s hard to pick one – I really don’t think I can. I do have to pay my respects to the amazing graphic design skills of Anne Benjamin of Mok Duk (www.annebenjamin.com). Anne did all of our design work for our invitations, programs, and favors. Her art set the tone for the weekend. For our invites, she created kitschy posters for “A Weekend of Southern Delight” that included an itinerary for the wedding and events leading up to and following the ceremony. And her programs were fantastic, resembling old-school church fans. We received so many compliments from guests on her fun and innovative designs — we couldn’t have been happier with her work.

Tell us about finding your wedding dress: Melissa: Bridal shops really aren’t my thing – even as a bride I felt incredibly out of place in them. I ended up doing most of my shopping online on designer consignment wedding websites. I had my eye on a lacy Monique Lhuillier gown, with a gorgeous, willowy trumpet hem. Through preownedweddingdresses.com I found a great seller and was able to purchase the dress of my dreams for less than 45 percent of its retail value. I tried it on for the first time only after receiving in the mail – it was absolutely perfect.

Check back shortly for more…