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We usually stick to showcasing weddings that took place in our beloved South, but when a bride goes to this much trouble to bring the South to her, well, we think that deserves a little love on Southern Weddings! Sarah’s Momma, who just so happens to own an antique shop in Texas, drove a UHaul full of vintage Southern goodness all the way out to California for her daughter’s wedding. The warm and cozy celebration that resulted was worth all the miles, as I think you’ll see. Michelle Warren’s lovely film images do an exquisite job of documenting the warm and cozy celebration that followed, helping us to see that yes, all those hours behind the wheel were well spent for Sarah + Dan!

My wedding dress was one of the first ones I tried on. I actually saw it in on a mannequin in the window of the bridal boutique and knew I had to try it on. It was the only one they had in stock, so I was embarrassed that I made the sales girl go into the window display and take it off the mannequin, but it was worth it. It was love at first sight!

I walked down the aisle to the love theme from Cinema Paradiso, a great, romantic Italian movie that we both love. We walked back up the aisle to “Married Life” from the Pixar movie, Up. It’s the song that plays during the first 10 minutes when they go through the timeline of the old couple’s relationship. It’s a very touching and poignant scene.

Do you love that Sarah and her Dad drove up to the ceremony in a lovingly restored 1940’s truck? We do!

What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? Right after the ceremony, we had to drive back to the reception in the old pickup truck and had a moment alone to really absorb the moment and reflect.

Here’s some good news from Sarah for those of you painstakingly planning and constructing details (and sometimes wondering if anyone will notice): they will! My advice? Plan everything WAY in advance. Vendors get booked up far earlier than you would imagine. Also, make sure to add lots of personal touches. Your guests will really appreciate it.

And yes, there were beautiful details galore at this wedding! Renae’s Bouquet used local wildflowers and herbs along with roses and peonies for the arrangements and bouquets, and everything was arranged in vintage bottles and containers that Sarah’s mom sourced from flea markets in Texas (see: UHaul above!).

Wedding foosball — so fun!

We had a very simple carrot cake with some flower decorations as our wedding cake, but we had an amazing dessert buffet, with delicious mini cupcakes, pies, and my favorite giant chocolate chip cookies from a baker in Chicago!

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. We met in college in probably the most “college-y” way you can meet: over a game of beer pong. Instantly bonding over our love of drinking games and movies, we agreed to meet up in our film class the next day. Gradually, over the course of the school year, the friendship morphed into a romantic relationship.
Describe the proposal. Having dated for five years, including a period of cross-country long distance, it soon became clear that we were going to be together forever. Our common desire to work in entertainment brought us both to Los Angeles, where we now live and work. One of our favorite weekend trips is driving up to the Santa Ynez Valley, filled with amazing wineries, gorgeous scenery, and delicious food. On our five year anniversary, we decided to take a trip up to celebrate, and while picnicking, Dan popped the question! By the end of the weekend, we knew that they had to get married up there as well.
In what month did you get married? June 2011
How many guests attended your wedding? Around 120
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: The location! We had guests coming in from all over the world, and everyone was impressed with the beautiful venue in the vineyards of the Central Californian Coast.
What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? Being from Texas, I had to have some type of BBQ at the wedding! We had three food stations: Texan food (brisket, onion rings, etc) for my upbringing, European food (Swiss and Spanish favorites) from Dan’s childhood, and Californian produce (from where we live now). More Southern details include the rustic feel of our barn reception, the 1940s Ford pickup truck that I drove up to the ceremony in and the line dancing!
What was the biggest challenge you had to overcome while planning your wedding? We had to bring in everything at the venue…even the bathrooms! Having the reception in the barn was great because it was a blank canvas to work with, but there were so many decisions to make since we had to bring everything in for the event. My mom brought in lots of great antiques and vintage details from Texas. She even drove a Uhaul out to California with all of her decorations!
What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on? Food and wine! It was great to give our guests such a big selection, and they got to experience all of the delicious local produce and wines from the Central Coast area.
Did you write your own vows? If so, what was your favorite phrase, verse or line? Our ceremony was very personalized. We worked with the officiant and he incorporated our favorite traits about our spouse into the ceremony. We also wrote our own vows. I loved that we both reiterated how natural and organic our relationship has been. It has never felt like “hard work.” We just really enjoy each other’s company and everything that comes with that.
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? The 1 Corinthians 13 passage that everyone has at their wedding because my parents used it as their wedding vows.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? We just bought a house! Looking forward to decorating, sprucing it up, and having lots of parties in our backyard this summer!

Photographer: Michelle Warren Photography // Planner: Carla Jacobsen of Special Occasions // Ceremony venue: Coquelicot Estate Vineyard / // Florist: Renae’s Bouquet // Dessert: Pattibakes, Enjoy Cupcakes, & Carol’s Cookies // Caterer: New West Catering // Rentals: Town & Country Rentals // Linens: La Tavola Linens // Paper Products: Urbanic Paper Boutique // Bride’s Dress: Melissa Sweet // Bride’s Hair Accessories/Veil/Jewelry: Vintage // Bride’s Shoes: London Sole // Bridesmaids’ Dresses: Amsale

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar molly stillman reply

    OH wow! this wedding is BEAUTIFUL. so so so beautiful. great way to start a Tuesday!

  2. avatar Gina reply

    I loved this wedding. So perfect and colorful! All the details match so perfectly and that pink… rocks my world! Great choice!

  3. avatar Erin Davenport reply

    Love the wedding foosbal and favor mailboxes, what cute ideas! Beautiful overall, and love seeing the fabulous Michelle Warren featured :)

  4. avatar Tim Duncan reply

    Love the invitation! Super cute!

  5. avatar Gayle reply

    Wedding fussball?! Genius!

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It’s that time again, y’all! Emily, Marissa and I are rounding up the highlights of March’s Real Weddings. We always love going back through our couples’ photos and picking out our favorite details. Of course, we want to know what you loved, too! Tell us below.

FAVORITE WEDDING DRESS: It was the ruffly tiers of Christina’s wedding gown that took Emily’s vote this month. Like Sarah, it was love at first sight for me when I saw her dress. The glamorous one-shoulder dress that Cee Cee rocked was absolutely up Marissa’s alley.

FAVORITE BRIDESMAID DRESS: Jessica’s bridesmaids’ dresses have been on Emily’s mind ever since we first saw photos of her wedding. For me, the uniform glam look that Cee Cee’s ‘maids wore immediately stole my attention. For Marissa, it was the slightly preppy and deep purple frocks that Rebecca’s bridesmaids wore that took the cake.

FAVORITE FEMALE ACCESSORY: Veils were all the talk in the office this month! Emily and Marissa agreed that Jessica’s fluffy veil was oh-so-chic. I, however, fell in love with Cee Cee’s dotted accessory.

FAVORITE MENSWEAR: I’m always impressed with the dapper gents on our blog. Marissa swooned over the seersucker suits at Meg + Jeremy’s wedding. I adored the yellow gingham bow ties at Alaina + Ryan’s wedding and Emily appreciated the monogrammed cummerbunds sported at K + T’s wedding.

FAVORITE DETAIL: It was the garden-chic food displays at Meghan + Michael’s wedding that caught Emily’s eye, while Marissa thought the hanging love notes at Christina + Scott’s were a sweet touch. I adored the colorful poms hanging off of Jessica + Derek’s getaway car!

FAVORITE CEREMONY: It was the clear blue sky, floral details and wrought iron altar from Sarah + Dan’s ceremony that won my heart. Marissa, taken by the gorgeous white chapel interior of K + T’s wedding, had to pick theirs as her favorite. Emily, always appreciative of the elegant and lovely, chose Rebecca + Colin’s ceremony.

FAVORITE BOUQUET: Marissa, always a lover of pink, couldn’t help but swoon over Christina’s lovely bouquet. I was torn on opposite sides of the spectrum, loving the bold colors of Brittany’s bouquet and the eclectic mix of blooms in Sarah’s. Emily loved the fall colors and mixed flowers in Meghan’s bouquet.

FAVORITE SWEET: The cascade of petals down Jessica + Derek’s white cake spoke to Marissa’s Southern tastes. The spiraling arrangement of lush blooms on Meghan + Michael’s cake was a no-brainer pick for Emily, while I was completely in love with K + T’s textured treat.

FAVORITE PHOTO: The photo of Sally + Dave dancing at their boat reception is so joyful, it was immediately my top pick. Emily and Marissa were romantics this month, choosing Christina + Scott’s lantern send-off and Rebecca + Colin’s sweet post-ceremony moment, respectively.

Previous monthly round-ups:

What do you think of these highlights from March’s Real Weddings? What details did you love?

View all of March’s weddings in our Real Weddings Galleries!

nicoleyang Written with love by Nicole

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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Hi, friends! Since this post is several years old now, we’ve gone ahead and updated it. Click here to find our updated guide to tipping wedding vendors!

As y’all know, I’m planning a wedding of my own (whoo!), and something that has befuddled me from day one is wedding tipping etiquette. There are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different times, that your head can start to spin long before you start separating cash out into envelopes.

Plus, when you’re already shelling out thousands of dollars per vendor, you might find yourself feeling, ahem, a little less than grateful at the thought of tipping on top of your final bill. Believe me, I completely understand! BUT, if you remember that tipping is never required, and should only be used to reward exemplary service, you might begin to feel a little differently.

In case you find yourself wanting to tip certain vendors, I’ve distilled advice from several different sources, including Emily Post, Martha Stewart, and my Momma, and then added in my own two cents. I also put together a handy tipping cheat sheet for us all, which you can download at the bottom of the post and tuck into your pocket come wedding day!

Finally, remember that while cash or a gift is always appreciated, a grateful spirit on your wedding day and a genuine, thoughtful thank you note after your wedding are quite possibly the best thank yous you can give your vendors.

Michelle Warren via Southern Weddings

Wedding Planner
Should I tip? If your planner owns her own business, then no tip is expected, since it’s not customary to tip the owner of a business. However, if you would like to recognize exemplary performance, a personal gift or check is an option.
How much? Up to $500, or 15% of her fee, or a nice gift
When? We recommend sending a thank you note and your check or gift after you return from your honeymoon.

Jodi Miller via Southern Weddings

Delivery and Set-up Staff
Should I tip? It’s a lovely gesture, especially if they were careful to set everything up to your specifications and without causing damage to the surroundings.
How much? $5 – $10 per person
When? Drop off envelopes with your catering manager or wedding planner if they’ll be accepting deliveries on your behalf

Josh McCullock

Wedding Photographer or Videographer
Should I tip? As most photographers and videographers own their own businesses, tipping is not expected or required in this case. Again, a personal gift is always a lovely touch.

Melissa Schollaert

Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist
Should I tip? Yes, this is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. However, the owning-their-own-business exception is still in effect, so keep that in mind.
How much? 15-20%, just as you would for a normal appointment
When? On the day of your wedding, after she’s finished getting you prettified

Photos by Tim Will and Caroline Joy (via SW here + here)

Wedding Transportation
Should I tip? Check your contract, because a gratuity is usually included. If it’s not, then one is pretty much expected.
How much? 15-20% of the total bill
When? When the driver picks you up or after the last ride

Virgil Bunao via Southern Weddings

Wedding Ceremony Officiant
Should I tip? It isn’t necessary to tip religious officiants like a priest or minister (many of them, in fact, won’t accept cash tips). In lieu of a tip, a donation to their house of worship is a nice gesture. It’s not expected that you’ll tip a civil employee or non-religious officiant, either (and sometimes, in the case of civil employees, tipping can be illegal). For all officiants, a personal gift, such as a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, would certainly be appreciated.
How much? Approximately $100
When? At the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner

Scobey Photography

Wedding Ceremony Musicians
Should I tip? This one’s definitely optional. If the string trio you hired has arranged or learned a particular song for you at no additional charge, then a tip might be a nice gesture.
How much? $15 – $20 per musician, or 15% of total fee
When? Before the musicians leave your ceremony site

A Bryan Photo via Southern Weddings

Wedding Reception Band or DJ
Should I tip? It’s completely optional, but somewhat common. For bands that book their own gigs (i.e. separate from an entertainment agency), tipping is not customary.
How much? If you choose to tip, set aside $20-$50 per musician or $25-$150 for DJs
When? Before they leave the reception

Ulmer Studios via Southern Weddings

Wedding Reception Staff
Should I tip? Oh boy, this one’s the big guy. Yes, you should tip, but make sure a gratuity is not already included in your contract.
How much? There are two ways to tip. The first is to tip as a percentage of the cost of your total catering bill – 15-20%. The second way (which is often more economical), is to tip each staff member individually. If you’re going that route, here is the rule of thumb: catering manager, banquet manager, headwaiter, or maitre d’: $100-$300 or 1-3% of food and beverage fees; chef: $50-$100; waiters and kitchen staff: $20-$30 each; bartenders: 10% of the total liquor bill (to be split among them) or $20-$25 per bartender
When? Before you leave the reception

Now, as promised, my handy cheat sheet for tipping at your wedding – enjoy!

Jodi Miller, Josh McCullock, Melissa Schollaert, and Scobey Photography are fabulous members of our Blue Ribbon Vendor Directory!

emily Written with love by Emily
  1. avatar Jennifer Underhill reply

    Emily, thank you for this post!!!! I have been meaning to look into tipping (along with a list of 20 other things) and have seen lots of different opinions that are all over the place! thank you for organizing all this into such a concise guide! I’m sure my vendors will appreciate it!

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Miss Jennifer! I’m SO glad this is helpful for you! And I completely know what you mean about being overwhelmed by all the different opinions – that’s why I sat down to write this post in the first place!

  2. avatar Kelsey reply

    I’m so glad this was your newest etiquette topic! It gets so confusing and overwhelming, so it’s really nice to have this all in one place!

    I do have any additional/situational question. We don’t have a specific wedding planner, but we do have a coordinator at our reception venue. A fee is automatically added on to our final bill for her services (in addition to the 20% gratuity added for all wait staff and bartenders). Do I need to tip her additionally?
    Thanks! :)

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Kelsey! From my research, it seems like an on-site coordinator falls under the same category as maitre d’, catering manager, etc, so if she’s provided exemplary service or gone above and beyond for you, then I’d recommend a $100-$300 tip. However, I don’t think one is always necessary in this case.

  3. avatar Justin reply

    From the list it looks like you included every
    Wedding vendor but the Florist.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Justin! From my understanding, florists and cake bakers are also usually the owners of their own businesses, and since owners aren’t customarily tipped, y’all wouldn’t need advice on that :) But of course, if you felt your florist went above and beyond, by all means, include a little extra or a personal gift!

  4. avatar A Gatty reply

    Great post, but I will have to disagree on the photography piece. Whether they own their own business or not, I think it should be determined by each situation. As a professional photographer who owns his own business, I worked many weddings without a break so I didn’t miss anything, skipped dinner because ” the wedding planner” thought it was a good idea to feed us last after the guests, which also happens to be the time that the bride and groom are done eating. Did I expect a tip? no but man it would have been a nice gesture given that I went above and beyond. Also nowadays, most wedding vendors own their own business including the wedding planners who are usually the highest paid to start with. If you are going to so generously tip them, it’s only fair to show us “the rest of the vendors” similar treatment.

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi A! I completely respect your opinion, but I just have to say that I think a vendor should never be disappointed by not getting a tip, only happily surprised by getting one. Also, I don’t think whether or not a couple tips should be based on the size of the vendor’s fee, but on whether or not he or she provided truly exemplary service. Thanks for chiming in!

  5. avatar The Friday Fresh Squeeze | Floridian Weddings reply

    […] are so many articles out there in regards to tipping your wedding vendors. I truly felt that this was a great article for advice! These adorable pencils are calling for an excuse to have a party! One of my favorite […]

  6. avatar Weekly Wedding Favorites | Going to the Chapel reply

    […] give? Is tipping even necessary? Although the title begins with “Southern Etiquette,” I think these very helpful tips from Southern Weddings apply to all Northerners, too. The post details when to tip your wedding […]

  7. avatar Weddings and Tipping | Wild Horse Inn Blog reply

    […] often asked about tipping.  Who to tip?  How much should vendors be tipped, etc?  Luckily or us, Southern Weddings Magazine has created a fantastic guide for weddings and tipping.  Personally, we can’t say enough […]

  8. avatar Tipping Wedding Vendors » Christopher William Jewelers reply

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  9. avatar Tipping Wedding Vendors « Rules Of Engagement – Blog & Community for Guys & Brides – The Ring, The Proposal, The Wedding reply

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  10. avatar Christopher Smith reply

    I was an event photographer for 14 years, having retired in December of 2011. What meant the most to me was not a tip but a decent meal and a break to enjoy it. Though I did greatly appreciate the handful of tips I received, a meal meant a lot more.

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  12. avatar Jordan McBride | HOW TO: Properly Thank Your Vendors reply

    […] you should be tipping, and how much you should be tipping them. To get you started on your search, this one from Southern Weddings is comprehensive, well-written, and includes a handy-dandy chart at the […]

  13. avatar Peter reply

    As a wedding photographer, I’d have to say the best “tip” you can give is a referral. I cannot quantify how much that means to us both personally and professionally. Although a bite to eat during the reception is much appreciated as well ;)

  14. avatar Maggie reply

    I have worked in several jobs within the wedding industry and I have to say that the wedding coordinator is probably the most underpaid job of all of them. The reason I say this is that they work for weeks, months and sometimes even a year with the bride and groom putting the wedding together. Many times, the DJ, bands and photographers make them same, if not more money for one night of work (photographers work more than one night however as they have to edit the photos). Not to say that the other vendors don’t work hard, but per hour, the wedding coordinator is the lowest on the totem pole for payment. If your planner goes above and beyond, especially if they own their own business, a tip is very appreciated. I can tell you that most planners put in atleast a 12-16 hour work day, not to mention the hectic week leading up to the wedding. It doesn’t feel so great to be handing out tips galore on behalf of the bride and groom to vendors who show up and work for 4-6 hours when you have slaved away and receive nothing. So it is not expected but really really appreciated.

  15. avatar The Tipping Point: Who and How Much to Tip on Your Big Day | Pink Cloud 9 Weddings Blog reply

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  16. avatar Chelsey Morrison reply

    I have sent this post to clients multiple times. Just wanted to say thanks for an easy to understand reference guide that I can keep coming back to!

  17. avatar Akisha reply

    A very thoughtful article that is personally appreciated. Being that I make most of my living from “contract” photography work these days (although I continue to have my own business presence), I feel obliged to add that many engaged couples are using national or regional companies to provide photography and videography services in the current market. In this case (and there are many since the prices of these companies are competitive and most business owners can’t compete in the “budget market”), I think you are inferring that a tip is appropriate. This is due to the fact that the photographer/videographer/DJ’s that work for these companies are making a day rate that is only a portion of what you are paying out. This is generally a fourth or fifth of what they would be making if you were their own client (without overhead included, of course) and they are still treating you with the same respect and hard working attitude they would have if you had hired them directly. I personally do this kind of work because my living depends on it and these companies who can afford big advertising can keep me steadily employed. It’s the closest thing I can get to a regular paycheck and I can tell you at the end of the day, any tip makes a big difference and means the world to the person actually providing you with excellent (hopefully) customer service.

  18. avatar Budgeting For Your Wedding | Magnifique Soirée reply

    […] 3. Prioritize your budget. Once you’ve determined the pool of money available to spend, it’s time to begin slicing it up. Start to talk with your fiance about what’s most important to you both, and start to reach out to vendors and venues with whom you’re interested in working. As quotes come in, you’ll start to see how your money might need to be allocated.Wedding quotes can be eye-popping and confusing at first, but there are lots of articles out there that will help you understand them better (two I recommend on flowers: here and here). It also might be helpful to look at how other couples have split their budget — mine is right here, and Ruffled also runs a great series on real budgets. Also: don’t forget to calculate tips into the cost of each vendor. You can find our tips for tipping here. […]

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  23. avatar Wedding Planning With A Difference – SignatureWeddings Magazine reply

    […] Southern Weddings / Southern Etiquette: Tipping Wedding Vendors […]

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  25. avatar The Who, What, and When of Wedding Vendor Tipping reply

    […] you show your appreciation is bound to make them smile. Sources: The Knot Martha Stewart Weddings Southern Weddings Ann’s Bridal Bargains Putting on the […]

  26. avatar Anonymous reply

    Hello Emily,

    I was curious what owning your own business really has to do with tipping or not? I personally believe that tips are earned based on hard work and effort… I agree that it is important to tip the delivery staff and people like that… but the people like photographers and planners who literally spend ALL day long with the bride and groom, making every effort to make sure everything is perfect surely deserve a tip more than the guy who drove the tables to the reception that the bride and groom never met. Small business owners put every single bit of effort that they can into their jobs. They have a true passion and usually end up doing way more work than they are paid for. So why is it etiquette to tip someone for just showing up and doing what they are being paid hourly to do vs tipping someone who will go above and beyond for you? It is pretty hard to be that vendor that goes above and beyond to make the bride and groom’s day perfect and spends 10+ hours with them over the course of the day and then watch the DJ who had a bad attitude and was only there for 4 hours get tipped just because blogs/magazines say that it is etiquette.

    I am a wedding vendor. I work very hard every single wedding to make sure everything is perfect. I don’t ever expect to be tipped or given a gift… but please think and help your readers realize who the people are who really do go above and beyond.

    And brides…. please say thank you to your vendors. You wouldn’t believe how often this little phrase is skipped over. It really makes the small business owners feel so happy and really makes us want to do even more to make your day better! :)

    Thank you,

  27. avatar Tips for Tipping Wedding Vendors at Your Wedding: An Infographic | crazyforus reply

    […] Via Image via […]

  28. avatar Tips for Tipping Vendors | reply

    […] If you’re still in need of some more advice, head on over to their breakdown of vendor tipping here. We recommend saving or pinning the cheat sheet for future reference. We hope we helped make your […]

  29. avatar Fresno Wedding Vendors Tipping | Supreme Wedding Dress reply

    […] Southern Etiquette: Tipping Wedding Vendors – and something that has befuddled me from day one is wedding tipping etiquette. There are so many different sources offering advice, and so many different dollar amounts recommended for so many different vendors at so many different … […]

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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