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Welcome back to another installment of Southern Etiquette!  We’re going to do something a little bit different today.  Instead of puzzling over an etiquette conundrum, I have a potential ceremony reading to share with you!  I stumbled upon it over on Weddingbee, and instantly fell in love.  Obviously I’m enamored because it’s an excerpt from Miss Manners by Judith Martin, but I also think, as Miss Knitting pointed out, that it’s a great choice for those couples who might not be “gushingly romantic” or religious.  Here it is:

“While exclusionary interest in one other human being, which is what we call courtship, is all very exciting in the stages of discovery, there is not enough substance in it for a lifetime, no matter how fascinating the people or passionate the romance.  The world, on the other hand, is chock full of interesting and curious things.  The point of the courtship – marriage – is to secure someone with whom you wish to go hand in hand through this source of entertainment, each making discoveries, and then sharing some and merely reporting others.  Anyone who tries to compete with the entire world, demanding to be someone’s sole source of interest and attention, is asking to be classified as a bore. ‘Why don’t you ever want to talk to me?’ will probably never start a satisfactory marital conversation.  ‘Guess what?’ will probably never fail.”

What do you think?  Would you consider an excerpt from an etiquette book for a ceremony reading?  What’s the most unusual reading you’ve heard someone use?

All header images c/o Millie Holloman

emily Written with love by Emily
3 Comments
  1. avatar Jessie reply

    Actually, I love that. I think it's appropriate and very much what a marriage today is about. We want to be with people who we can grow and learn and flat have fun with. I'm saving this in my "when I get married" file!

  2. avatar emily hansel reply

    I like that reading – the tone and the message- a lot, but maybe as something the officiant would say as part of their message. Something about the "why don't you ever want to talk to me?" line seems out of place for a reading someone else would get up and say. but as someone who loves etiquette books, i'd absolutely include something from one if we loved it. i mean, we had a tom robbins reading, so i say to each his/her own, as long as it works for everyone involved! (since some churches/officiants have guidelines, i think it is up to more than just the couple.)

  3. avatar Jesse reply

    My favorite non-gushy ceremony reading is the following, from Captain Corelli's Mandolin:Love is a temporary madness,it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.And when it subsides you have to make a decision.You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined togetherthat it is inconceivable that you should ever part.Because this is what love is.Love is not breathlessness,it is not excitement,it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,they find that they are one tree and not two.

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