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Southern Weddings

Category: Fashion and Style

It’s no secret that we love J.Crew around here. From their perfectly tailored chambray shirts to Emily’s and my shared favorite tennis shoes, their classic style is a go-to for staple pieces.

As you can imagine, we were thrilled when they turned their sartorial eye to weddings, and have oohed and ahhed over their casual and affordable collection for years. Several of us have even worn their bridesmaid dresses when we’ve stood up beside our friends, as we know SO many of you have, too. We were sad to hear that J.Crew is discontinuing their wedding line soon, but the silver lining is that there are fantastic savings to be had on their gorgeous pieces while they last. We’ve rounded up a few of our favorite pieces here, and if you scurry right along, there is an extra 30% off sale with the code FESTIVE!

V neck gown | Long sleeve gown | Earrings | Flower girl dress with bow | Pleated flower girl dress | Long lace gown | Chiffon gown | Watercolor silk dress | Cap sleeve lace dress | Embellished grosgrain sash

Happy shopping, friends! Anyone want to reminisce together about a great J.Crew wedding moment they’ve been a part of? :)

marissa Written with love by Marissa
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We’re switching things up in Southern Style! While I’m still talking fashion, today I’m answering a question that we often receive from brides. I’m actually quite familiar with today’s question, as I asked it myself when planning my own wedding! And it is: “Can my wedding be black tie?” The simple answer? Yes! For the longer version, here are a few things to keep in mind when considering a black tie wedding…

When we were planning our wedding, my husband Brandon was very laid-back, as usual. However, he had one request: to wear a tuxedo with tails. Needless to say, we had not intended to have a celebration quite that formal, so we compromised: he wore tails, but not white gloves or a top hat! :) With his fashion choice confirmed, a few other wedding day details were settled for us, like our ceremony and reception start times. Traditional etiquette recommends no black tie before 6pm; however, modern etiquette has allowed that if the reception begins after 6, black tie is acceptable.

Image credit: Alex + Andrew and Lyndsie + John

Brandon’s attire also helped shape our bridesmaid dress selection. Since the groomsmen were wearing tuxes with tails, my gals needed to wear long gowns with a bit more formality than originally planned. I opted for black silk floor-length gowns that were dressed up even more with classic pearl necklaces (my bridesmaid gifts!). While black tie does limit the groomsmen color palette, it doesn’t have to narrow your bridesmaid choices. Black tie bridesmaid attire is a fun place to bring in color and even a bit of sparkle, like Lynze did with her girls. Do note that your gals gowns should be floor-length regardless of color.

Image credit: Lyndsie + John, Jordan + David, and Alex + Andrew.

A few other details to marinate on if you’re considering a black tie celebration:

– The venue. While chic tents are natural fits for black tie events, it might not be real easy to wear a floor-length gown down a dirt path. If your guests will be dressing in black tie (and likely heels, too), make sure you’ve thought through the ways they’ll navigate your ceremony and reception spots.
– The decor. While simple is often better, guests won’t feel overdressed if your tables are dressed up, too!
– The menu. I might be speaking for myself, but I can’t imagine how scared I’d be to eat juicy BBQ while wearing a beaded gown. We’re all for a mix of high- and low-brow details, but your guests will probably expect the food to reflect the effort they’ve put in to look their best for you, so make sure it’s delicious and feels a bit fancy!
– Your gown. A groom standing beside you in a tuxedo is the perfect opportunity to choose that extra ruffly or sparkly gown you’ve been eyeing. But if a more casual gown is more your style, consider adding some extra elegance through your accessories.
– Your couple style. While Brandon and I tend to be homebodies, we knew we wanted to get all dolled up for our wedding day and give our guests an reason to get a little extra fancy, so black tie was the right fit for us. But it’s definitely not the right fit for everyone, so be sure to think of your personal style.

And last but certainly not least, your guests! According to Emily Post, black tie calls for gents in black tuxedos with formal (piqué or pleated front) white shirts, bow ties, and cummerbunds. Gloves are not required, and in the summer white dinner jackets with black tuxedo paints are acceptable. Belles should don formal floor-length gowns, a very dressy cocktail dress, or their dressiest little black dress. Of course, if you do go with a cocktail dress, be sure to dress it up with your sparkliest jewels and highest heels! Ms. Post also says that you should not mention attire on a formal invitation. However, she does say that you can mention it on a reception invitation or card. Your wedding website is also a great place to include dress code.

Will you/did you have a black tie wedding? I’d love to hear from you!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
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  1. avatar Ellie reply

    We’re having a black tie optional wedding to make it a little easier on guests. My dress is pretty grand, my fiance has a midnight blue tux, and our venue is a histroic space in Charleston, so black tie felt like the natural way to go!

    • avatar Marissa reply

      Ellie! That sounds like an absolute dream! I am sure guests will be tickled pink to get all gussied up! Love the midnight blue tux option as well. xx, MAK

  2. avatar Emily reply

    Marissa, I always love all your posts, but this one is just SO up my alley! I agree with everything you said here related to black tie – from timing, to the white dinner jacket exception, to ladies in cocktail length dresses taking it up a notch with accessories and heels, and most of all, to NOT including attire info on the formal printed invite! My wedding is this Saturday and the ceremony starts at 5:30pm, meaning a 6pm cocktail hour and 7pm reception. We have always wanted black tie and went for it based on modern etiquette rules! We considered pushing ceremony to 6pm, but since it is outside, our photographer really recommended we keep it at 5:30pm for lighting reasons. Glad you agree that what we did is A-OK :) Thanks for a great post!!

    • avatar Marissa reply

      Emily, you just made my day! Thank you so much for your kind words. I was married in December, so we too were chasing light. Our ceremony was at 5pm and the reception started at 6pm, so we just slid right in with etiquette. I’m sure your wedding will be magical and congratulations for the upcoming weekend!! xx, MAK

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It’s safe to say that when it comes to hospitality, Southerners have a knack for taking things up a notch! One of my very favorite memories from Bridal Market last year was when Alabama-based designer Heidi Elnora invited Kristin and I to see her new collection. Instead of seating us at a runway show, she had us over at the AirBNB she and her team were staying in for the week, offered us PB&J sandwiches and M&Ms, and let us spend as much time as we wanted admiring each and every gown. After days of running around the city in our highest heels, it was such a breath of fresh air to experience such gracious Southern hospitality! This is one of SO many reasons we were thrilled to learn about Heidi’s latest and greatest project: the heidi elnora Atelier, located right in the heart of Birmingham. She poured her heart into turning this downtown warehouse into the ultimate destination for brides, and I’m completely confident that any gal would feel comfortable and confident while dress shopping at the gorgeous space she created!

Tell us about the beginnings of the heidi elnora Atelier—why did you want to open the atelier, and how did you get started?
Heidi:
Ever since I started heidi elnora 10 years ago, I have dreamed of owning my own building. It was one of the many items on my bucket list. Last summer, after my reality show aired on TLC, I decided to start looking for a permanent place to set up shop. Lo and behold, there she was, an empty brick box that was built in 1891 on the most perfect cobblestone street, Morris Avenue, in downtown Birmingham, Alabama. I immediately contacted my husband and my real estate agent, and within a few days, we were under contract!

Tell us about the renovation process! How did you find the space and transform it to fit your vision?
Heidi:
I basically bought an 8,000 sq. ft. empty box (no plumbing, electrical or HVAC), but to me, it was the perfect canvas to begin creating my atelier. I basically became a general contractor for seven months, making sure that every wall, plug, paint color, and detail was perfection. I would literally be at the building every morning to discuss the daily plans with my builder, and every night, I was on Pinterest and Houzz, pulling ideas and additional details together. The majority of the goods used in the building were sourced locally from wood mills, iron workers, local artisans, and even a rock quarry from Alabama for a specific local marble for the mini bar in the bridal suites. (Yep, we have a mini bar in the bridal suites–you never know when you need to celebrate with rosé!)

Just for fun, here are a few before pictures!

Tell us about what y’all offer to brides and gals.
Heidi:
We offer everything, from our 70+ wedding gowns from our three collections (heidi elnora, Build-a-Bride, and Hello Darling), to creating a couture gown from scratch (brides fly in from all over the country for this), to buying your bridal lingerie (For Love and Lemons), wedding shoes (Harriet Wilde and Badgley Mischka), veils, accessories, garters, rehearsal dinner dresses, and bridesmaid and hostess gifts. The heidi elnora Atelier can dress you from head to toe and everywhere in between!

What sets the heidi elnora Atelier experience apart from other bridal salons?
Heidi:
What sets the heidi elnora Atelier apart from other bridal salons is that I took the BEST pieces and practices from all the stores that I sell to or have visited and incorporated them into the atelier, creating the ULTIMATE bridal experience. I call the atelier the “Barbie dream bridal boutique” because it is just that–it’s EVERYTHING!

What is your single best tip for a bride about to start shopping for her wedding gown?
Heidi:
Stay true to who you are. Do not allow friends, family, or a bridal stylist to persuade you into wearing something that doesn’t make your heart smile. You have to LOVE your dress…almost as much as you love your fiancé :)

Do you have a favorite memory of the heidi elnora Atelier?
Heidi:
It’s probably people’s expressions when they see it for the first time. It’s truly lovely–all 8,000 sq. ft. of it.

What is your current favorite wedding dress in the store? If you were to get married tomorrow, what dress would you wear?
Heidi:
I would probably have to go with one of the dresses from my Hello Darling line. They are more relaxed in terms of fitm and very lightweight. They are light-hearted and full of whimsy, and that is where I am now being a mother of two little boys.

What is your favorite memory from your own wedding day?
Heidi:
Seeing my sweet fiancé/now-husband, Jeff, at the end of the aisle, and knowing that I was getting to spend the rest of my life with him.

What is the single greatest lesson you’ve learned in business?
Heidi:
That God has got this. All of my worrying does nothing to move things faster, or make things happen more efficiently.

Name three items every gal should have in her closet.
Heidi:
A great pair of comfy black jeans with the knees cut out, a chandelier, and an organized shoe closet with lots of year-round boots.

Thank you so much, Heidi! Be sure to follow along with her and her gorgeous atelier here:

Website | Atelier website | Facebook | Twitter | Heidi’s Instagram | heidi elnora Atelier Instagram

This post is brought to you by heidi elnora Atelier–thanks for your support of the brands that make Southern Weddings possible!

lisa Written with love by Lisa
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Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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