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Southern Weddings

Author: Marissa

There are two beautiful details that really stand out at Sara + Justin’s wedding: the gorgeous estate tables and the innovative ceremony backdrop. I’m a bit obsessed with estate tables, and the dark wood of S + J’s is the perfect blend of formal and farm table-esque. Now that ceremony backdrop – oh my loveliness! I was already smitten with the installation, and then I read that the paintings were created by Sara’s late grandmother. Wow, I’m so impressed how Sara + Justin were able to seamlessly incorporate such meaningful pieces in to their wedding. I also love Sara’s nod to tradition by wearing the same head piece as her mother and grandmother did.

Jodi Miller did a fabulous job capturing all the details and emotion of their big day.

I wanted elegant flowers, but I also wanted to incorporate our love of cooking through the use of fresh herbs. The fresh herbs were such an amazing touch not only for their beauty, but for the scent that they perfumed throughout the ceremony and reception. I will never forget the sweet smells of rosemary and basil during our ceremony, blowing toward us from the wall of flowers and herbs behind us.

Did you decide to do a “first look”? Yes. We wanted to be able to spend as much time with our guests as possible. It also made the trip down the aisle a tad less nerve-wracking!

I’m sure Sara’s grandmother is so honored to see her art displayed in such a lovely way.

Did you write your own vows? We didn’t, but our officiant used our own words in her address during the ceremony. Our favorite line from Justin’s interview with our officiant was, “Marriage means that I am guaranteed to have Sara as my best friend and partner for the rest of my life.”
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? The Union by Robert Fulghum
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding. I walked down the aisle to “In My Life” by the Beatles. I walked back up the aisle to “Here Comes the Sun”, by the Beatles. For our first dance, we danced to “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel.

Describe your wedding cake or dessert: Justin and I both don’t particularly enjoy cake. I am an ice cream fan and he loves cookies. We had gelato provided by a local vendor in Charlottesville and our venue made three of Justin’s favorite homemade cookies. We are adventurous eaters so our gelato flavors included a chipotle chocolate and of course, ice cream sandwich making was encouraged.

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. Justin and I met at our first job out of college at a consulting firm called BearingPoint. Justin had worked at BearingPoint since 2005 and I was hired and started in the late summer of 2007. Once I joined the firm, I was responsible for finding a project. As fate would have it, I was asked to interview for the same project that Justin was leading. The interview was not particularly great and during the post-interview discussion, one of Justin’s colleagues suggested I was too inexperienced for the project. While Justin didn’t agree with his colleague, the decision was tabled for another day. Fortunately, what I lacked in consulting experience, I more than made up for in shrewd negotiating skills. By the time Justin returned to his desk, he received a phone call from me suggesting that if the team did not act immediately, they would lose their opportunity to hire me. I assured Justin that I had offers from several teams at BearingPoint and needed to make a decision immediately. Backed into a corner, Justin panicked and with no real authority told me that I would receive an offer to join the team. While this gave Justin the unenviable task of explaining his new role of hiring manager to the actual hiring manager, I received an offer and the rest, as they say, is history.
Describe the proposal. Three years elapsed from the day we first met at BearingPoint to the day we booked a vacation together to Turks and Caicos. Having been through our first corporate bankruptcy (goodbye BearingPoint) and the beginning of two new jobs at rival consulting firms (hello Deloitte and PwC), stress dictated a need for some rest and relaxation in a tropical paradise. We both agreed Turks and Caicos presented the perfect option. The vacation was planned for January of 2011 and thus the engagement wheel was set in motion. In order to keep the engagement a secret until January, Justin had to buy a ring and keep the ring in his possession for two months. Needless to say, nobody thought he could do it…not even Justin. Justin was horrified by the idea of high pressured in person jewelry shopping. As evidenced by his anemic negotiating performance with me three years prior, he knew his strengths were not suited to deal with jewelry salesmen. Therefore, he did what any rational internet aged male would do and found an online establishment, performed weeks of research, and ultimately executed one of the largest purchases of his life sight unseen over the internet. Justin had to carefully coordinate the timing and subsequent delivery of the purchase so as to avoid detection. Justin chose two days before Thanksgiving. At the time, the date seemed perfect; close enough to a holiday to not arouse suspicion regarding a random work from home day for Justin but far enough from a holiday to prevent me from working from home. Unfortunately, the night before the ring was to be delivered, I mentioned offhand, “good news, my boss said I can work from home tomorrow…we will be able to hang out all day!” As you can imagine, terror and panic again shot through Justin’s body. Not knowing what to do he texted one of the our close friends, Kathleen. After some awkward cryptic text messages, Kathleen read between the lines and understood that I HAD to go to work. Kathleen called my boss and convinced her to make me go into work. Disaster averted. Despite a few minor hiccups between Thanksgiving and the vacation date, Justin was able to preserve the surprise for me. Once in Turks and Caicos, we went for a long walk on the beach. After some stealth maneuvering and good timing, Justin was able to find a quiet spot of sand overlooking the ocean. Just as the sun was setting over the Atlantic, Justin asked me to marry him. I quickly agreed and we spent the rest of the week having biking adventures, snorkeling, and eating and drinking like kings
In what month did you get married? July
How many guests attended your wedding? 128
Did you write your own vows? We didn’t, but our officiant used our own words in her address during the ceremony. Our favorite line from Justin’s interview with our officiant was, “Marriage means that I am guaranteed to have Sara as my best friend and partner for the rest of my life.”
What readings, if any, did you have at your ceremony? The Union by Robert Fulghum
Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding. I walked down the aisle to “In My Life” by the Beatles. I walked back up the aisle to “Here Comes the Sun”, by the Beatles. For our first dance, we danced to “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel.
Our favorite detail of the wedding was: Paying homage to my grandmother by displaying her hand paintings on our flower wall during the ceremony. I also wore the head piece that she and my mother wore in their weddings and a pair of her earrings.
What range did your wedding budget fall into? $50,000-$75,000
What is the one thing you are most happy you splurged on? The band. We didn’t stop dancing the whole time. We also did a photo booth and I think our guests really enjoyed it during the wedding and we really enjoy it as a keepsake. Also the venue — Veritas is a full service wedding venue. They provided us with a wedding coordinator leading up to the wedding and a day-of event manager. The day of the wedding, I didn’t worry about any details — they had it all covered. Leading up the wedding, I had an expert I could reach out to for advice whenever I needed.
What advice do you have for folks currently planning a wedding? We made a contact sheet leading up to the wedding and called all of our vendors the week before to confirm everything. It wasn’t necessary, but the biggest source of anxiety for us was making sure all of the vendors showed up and on time. Also, at the very least, get a day-of coordinator. You don’t want to give those jobs to your bridesmaids or parents; they should be enjoying everything along with you!
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you looking forward to in the future? A honeymoon to Bora Bora in October and one day, a family!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
2 Comments
  1. avatar Wedding Gift Shopper reply

    The idea of the eggplant on the center table is cool

  2. avatar Julie reply

    Everything was so beautiful!! It was such an elegant wedding. The icing on the cake came when we all had so much fun!!!

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Around these parts, it’s been said that if it stops moving, I’ll monogram it. To be honest, that couldn’t be more true. Growing up, my initials were MNA, which is perfectly fine until you use a 3-letter monogram. Then it’s mAn — not so cute! So when I married my adorable hubby and became MAK (or mKa for 3-letters), I could not have been more thrilled and literally made up for lost time monogramming everything that well…stopped moving! As a Southerner, we’re born monogrammed (or at least my babies will be), but the formal etiquette of which letter goes where can become a bit tricky.

That’s why we turned to our friend Emily at Emma J Design. She created this handy-dandy “cheat sheet” to help unfold the etiquette of the monogram. It will help you choose the appropriate monogram style for before, during and after the wedding.

Emily says, “we know as much as the next bride that we cannot wait to use our new last name and incorporate it into our lives as newlyweds! From your thank you notes to use as an engaged woman to your thank you notes as a married woman, your monogram evolves throughout the process. Whether your style is modern, traditional or vintage, there are many ways to incorporate your initials, your fiance/husband’s initials or your new married name together.”

Need a little more guidance? She also created a cheat sheet for invitation etiquette as well! Be sure to check it out here. Thanks for your help, Emily!

Now, tell me, how will you be incorporating your pre- and post-wedding monogram into your wedding and daily life?

marissa Written with love by Marissa
28 Comments
  1. avatar Rachel A. reply

    This is what I call my #southerngirlproblem
    I married a boy and now my monogram is rAw
    (not so cute on a bathrobe)
    Can I use my maiden middle name, L, instead?

    • avatar Marissa reply

      Hi Rachel! I love the #Southerngirlproblem hashtag! Too fun! You absolutely can use your maiden middle initial. That’s actually what I do! Get to monogramming, girl! xx

  2. avatar Sheila Marie reply

    Oh no, I just realized I did my monogram wrong on my wedding invites, I used our (to-be) joint monogram on the invitation. My MOH designed it, I just couldn’t help but put it everywhere, I LOVE IT!

    I’m in love with my invitation suite and I did all the other invite etiquette rules correctly, so I guess I’ll be able to live with one mess-up. ;)

  3. avatar Courtney H. reply

    Another “oh no”- apparently my wedding monogram is backwards! My initial is on the right and his is on the left, how serious is this? Should I have my invites reprinted?? Are my in-laws going to brand me a Yankee and never let me bring the pecan pie to Thanksgiving?!

    • avatar Marissa reply

      Oh, Courtney! Bless your heart! No, there is no need to re-print or panic. Your in laws will completly understand that little snafu. Just keep in mind for future monogramming that your first initial will always be first. And as long as you bring pecan pie, you’re always be welcome to any Thanksgiving in the South! xx

  4. avatar Victoria reply

    This just saved our registry from being wrong- I had no idea the wife on the left and the husband on the right was specified! Logged onto pottery barn immediately to fix! Thanks so much! I’ve gone a little monogram crazy with this new change! :)

  5. avatar Katie reply

    Wow – monograms are so confusing – I always thought the man’s initial went first in a joint monogram – and I think I read that on this past post! http://iloveswmag.com/2010/09/21/southern-etiquette-monograms-middle-names/

    Ah – now I’m so confused!

    • avatar Marissa reply

      Hi Katie! Yes, monogram etiquette can be quite confusing and definitely varies from person to person. In that previous post, it was KTW’s preference of the older tradition in which the man would go first in a joint monogram. Emily is using a more modern way with the lady going first. There is no right or wrong way, so monogram your favorite way! : ) xx

  6. avatar Courtney Hill reply

    Love, love, love this! You absolutely cannot have too many monograms!

  7. avatar Dishie Rentals » Blog Archive » Monogram Etiquette reply

    […] monogram? Here in the South, we think not. Go ahead and pin this handy cheat sheet. Our friends at Southern Weddings originally posted this beauty, designed by Emma J Design. One of my first orders of business after […]

  8. avatar Deborah Hayes reply

    First of all, this is a great website! Thank you. My question regards monogrammed towels for guest baths: 1 Letter Monogram or Marriage Monogram?
    Best,
    Deborah
    P.S. You would have loved my wedding!

  9. avatar Jeannie reply

    If you are doing a bridal shower invitation for a girl whose last name is McNamee, how do you write the initials for the last name? Do you simply use a M? We are at a loss and hope you can help. Thanks!

  10. avatar Frani reply

    If the man’s last name is McDonough, are there any other options besides the interlocking letters? Thanks….

  11. avatar Pam reply

    I can’t find the answer to this one ANYWHERE! Suppose a woman has remarried. Example: Maiden name: Paige Rita Calhoun First Marriage: Paige Rita Calhoun Douglas Second Marriage: Paige Rita Calhoun Douglas Anderson? If she wants to mongram something with three initials, presuming she uses her first initial on the left, (P) and her (second) married name in the center (A) ….which letter would she use on the right? Please help! Thanks!

    Pam

    • avatar Emily reply

      Hi Pam! It’s totally up to you! I assume after she’s been remarried she’d drop Douglas, so it seems like the choices are either R for Rita or C for Calhoun. Totally up to preference at that point, though, and what her legal name is!

  12. avatar Beverly reply

    What if I want to monogram something for someone whose name is Laura Rachel Van House? (Name has been changed for privacy!) What 3 letters would I monogram? I’m confused!

    • avatar Kelsey reply

      Beverly – According to this source, you would get the monogram done as LRV or LVR, taking Van House as beginning with a “V.” http://cottagecolony.com/monograms-201/

  13. avatar Leah G reply

    Super info thank you, love your site too :) LeahG

  14. avatar Terre harris reply

    What monogram do you use on ring eaters pillow!

  15. avatar Lorrie reply

    I want to put a monogram on bridesmaid gift but she is getting married 3 weeks after and she will have new initials. Which one should I use pre married or her soon to be married monogram ?

    • avatar Lisa reply

      We vote her married monogram, so she’ll be able to enjoy your gift for years to come! :)

  16. avatar Larissa reply

    I recently got married and hyphenated my last name. And I want to monogram EVERYTHING. But I can’t decide what my monogram should look like. When it comes to three letter monograms, should I drop my middle name and use my first and last name initials, or keep the middle name and use my married name initial in the middle? I’m not sure what the rules are, but I would love some input so I can keep on monogramming! :)

  17. avatar Doris Robinson reply

    What is the appropriate monogram for:
    Jillian B. von Oster

  18. avatar Mishelle Cavanagh reply

    Hi Emily, If I want to use the initial of my new last name as the middle letter in the monogram, who’s initial goes before the last name and who’s initial goes after the last name initial? Is it the husband’s initials, last name initials and then the wife’s initials Thanking you in advance for your help on this.

  19. avatar Lynn reply

    What is the best way to do a monogram with last name starting with Mc

  20. avatar Glenda Fodge reply

    I am hosting a bridal shower for friends. I wanted to do a monogram napkin. Can I use their initials including their last name to be? Or should I stick with 2-letter monogram of their first names only?

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V5 :: Our Largest Issue!

by in Main on

Yes, that’s right! Southern Weddings Volume 5 is going to be our biggest and best issue yet! You might have heard our BIG HUGE news (well, besides, Emily getting married over the weekend – yay, Mrs. T!), but if not I am thrilled to announce that we received news from our awesome circulation agent that we’ll have a fifty percent (ah, 50%) increase in distribution on V5!! So that means we’ll be spreading the Southern goodness even wider, and we can’t thank y’all enough for your support!

A little behind-the-scenes with the new Mrs. Thomas!

In honor of the launch of V5 we’re throwing a bash, and we’d love for you to join us! Save the date! On November 15th, we Southern Weddings ladies will be getting fancy and celebrating at The Carolina Inn, and y’all are invited! More info soon!

We’re literally growing like kudzu, y’all! In addition to our BIG print increase, we’re also growing online! Thanks to your support, our online traffic is up a whopping fifty two percent (holy cow 52%!) this month! We are tickled pink to see this news and we couldn’t be more grateful to our sweet readers, advertisers and friends!

Since V5 is going to be our biggest magazine yet, that means we get to add just a few more pages of gorgeous ads! To celebrate this awesomeness, we’re extending our Emily Got Married sale for just a few more days. Hurry because these spaces are selling like hot cakes, and once they’re gone, we’ll be completely SOLD OUT! Email me asap to snag your space before it’s too late!

Y’all know we can’t make a big announcement without giving our fab readers a little love, so in celebration we’re giving away one of the VERY first Southern Weddings V5’s hot off the press!

To enter, help us spread the news with two (or three) simple steps:
1. Tweet and/or Facebook how excited you are with this sentence: “I can’t wait to get my hands on #SWV5, @iloveswmag’s biggest issue yet!” Don’t forget to tag us on Facebook and mention us on Twitter.
2. Leave a comment below with the link to your post/tweet. Easy peasy!

marissa Written with love by Marissa
27 Comments
  1. avatar Madi Reid reply

    Well… you had to know I’d be all over this… :)
    https://twitter.com/madi_reid/status/248128251577376768

  2. avatar Whitney reply

    This post was brimming with goodness. I’m especially excited about the LAUNCH PARTY!!!!!! Oh goodness! A certain Southern Weddings alumna (moi) will be in North Carolina that week and cannot wait to attend!!

  3. avatar Natalie reply

    https://www.facebook.com/natalie.a.arnold

  4. avatar Heather Gardner reply

    Congratulations Lara & team! So proud of your success and best wishes for continued awesomeness!

  5. avatar Ashley reply

    Tweeted!!! and facebook’d!!

  6. avatar Jenna Lea reply

    Excited to see all the new Southern trends, finds, and festivities! Yay!

    https://www.facebook.com/jlfore?ref=tn_tnmn

  7. avatar Damaris Mia {Le Magnifique} reply

    Posted it on my fan page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/LeMagnifiqueBlog. CANNOT WAIT!!

  8. avatar Anna reply

    Excited for your next issue!!! can’t wait to get my hands on #SWV5, @iloveswmag’s biggest issue yet!!

  9. avatar Dana Cubbage reply

    I am so bummed that the Launch Party is so far away but I’ll be sending my love from Charleston!

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/danacubbagewed/status/248149885487022080
    FB: not sure how to link this but it’s on my personal FB wall :)

  10. avatar Madelynne Moulton reply

    I tweeted y’all! https://twitter.com/smaddogmoulton
    I also facebooked y’all! https://www.facebook.com/madelynne.moulton

  11. avatar Kristin Partin Lewis reply

    so I thought this would be super easy. just send you the link to my tweet. well, come to find out I don’t know how to do that. SOOOO I just linked to my twitter. IM SORRY IM SO DUMB.

    ;)

    https://twitter.com/k_partin

    http://www.facebook.com/kristin.partin/posts/10101318813624402

  12. avatar Somer reply

    Facebooked and tweeted!! Finally a Southern Bride, and I can’t wait for SWV5!! https://twitter.com/Somerdaydreams
    http://www.facebook.com/somerread

  13. avatar jennifer blair reply

    Tweeted!!! I’m SO EXCITED about the next issue!!!!! https://twitter.com/jennifer_blair_

  14. avatar Kathi reply

    Here’s my facebook mention: https://www.facebook.com/kathibertsch. I really can’t wait!

  15. avatar Ginger Irons reply

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lytle-Cove-Cottage/121186504561763?ref=stream

    I love your magazine!

  16. avatar adam barnes reply

    many congrats ladies…!! excited to see the new issue!

  17. avatar Yvette Navarro reply

    Tweeted on @NavarroDesignEd. Bring on the beauty!!

  18. avatar Jessica Clinch reply

    Oh my goodness I can’t wait to get V5! I’m definitely going to come to the launch party if I can! Here’s my tweet :) https://twitter.com/jmarieclinch/status/248597944197083136

  19. avatar Britany Brownlee reply

    CHEERS to all your wonderful success and all the lovely things to come :) Here is my sweet tweet: https://twitter.com/SouthernKnots/status/248877672619454464

  20. avatar Sierra reply

    Oh my, how exciting! I will just barely miss this… scheduled to fly back after the Carolina alumni weekend festivities.

  21. avatar Britany Brownlee reply

    CHEERS to all your wonderful success and all the lovely things to come :) Can’t wait to fall in love with the new issue and show it off to the world! Here is my sweet tweet: https://twitter.com/SouthernKnots/status/248877672619454464

  22. avatar Cari B. reply

    Ooooh, how exciting! Can’t wait to get my hands on the latest issue…

    https://twitter.com/InterPRINTation/status/250312892719718400

  23. avatar Jordan Daviage reply

    https://twitter.com/jordanmd76/status/251347959927668736

Southern Weddings reserves the right to delete comments which contain profanity or personal attacks or seek to promote a business unrelated to the post.  And remember: a good attitude is like kudzu – it spreads.  We love hearing your kind thoughts!

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