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Y’all, I feel a little guilty about sharing this wedding today, especially if we have any readers joining us from the Northeast. If you weren’t already craving warm spring days and juicy peaches, you will be now–I know Kristin might want to jump right into these photos, as she herself had a beautiful, peachy detail-covered wedding of her own! There is so much more to Julie and Michael’s big day than the gorgeous weather though. We could talk about the gorgeous blooms, or the perfectly placed vintage furniture, or even their pecan pie favors. But, what makes me swoon the most has got to be the importance of family weaved throughout their day. Julie not only wears Michael’s great-grandmother’s engagement ring, she also donned her mother’s wedding gown on the big day. If you think you need even more sweetness before you reach for a tissue, be sure to read about the empty row at their ceremony to honor their late family members. Y’all, this Louisiana celebration is such a gem!

We’re so thankful Ashleigh Jayne shared this wedding with us in V7!

My engagement ring originally belonged to Michael’s great-grandmother, Rose Danna. Her husband purchased the diamond in 1930, and the two were married in 1934. They had two children, Patricia and Carmella, who each got married and had children of their own. Carmello Danna (Pawpaw) passed away in 1999, and Rose Danna (Maw-maw) lived a long, full life as the matriarch of the family. I was blessed to know Maw-maw for several years before she passed away at age 98. When Michael decided to propose to me, he began shopping around for an engagement ring, and when he told his mother the news, she gave him Maw-maw’s ring. Now, it is not only a reminder of our marriage, but also a memory of Maw-maw that we will forever cherish, and one day pass on to one of our children.

What was the design inspiration for your wedding? Why was this design special to you as a couple? Prior to our engagement, Michael and I had discussed getting married and what we imagined married life would be like. We didn’t, however, talk about what type of wedding we would want when that day came. After we figured out the logistics, the fun part began (fun for me at least!). I read wedding magazines, created Pinterest boards and started a wedding planning book to stay organized. It was at that point that I knew I wanted to hire a wedding planner to help pull all of my ideas together. From the moment Angela came on board in May 2013, the planning really took off! I described my inspiration to her, including family traditions, like wearing my mother’s dress. We wanted to have a “comfortable” wedding–nothing too formal, but with lots of attention paid to the little details.

Living in Louisiana, it is impossible to predict the weather. One year before our wedding date, I remember sitting on the patio of my parents’ house with propane heaters to keep warm! When we chose Nottoway as the venue for our wedding, we planned for all of the festivities to take place outside, so all we could do was pray for nice weather! The days before and after our wedding were quite hot, but that Saturday was absolutely perfect!! Beautiful sunny skies with a high in the low 80s. I could not have imagined a more perfect day to get married!

The ceremony was brief, but very special. Our officiant, Donna, began the ceremony with a touching Blessing of the Hands prayer. We incorporated our Catholic religion into the ceremony with two bible verses and a presentation to Mary. After the presentation to Mary, we handed roses to our mothers and grandmothers to thank them for all they have done for us. We decided to use traditional vows instead of writing our own, and although the words have been said by many before us, it was so special to promise each other our love “till death do us part.”

What was your reception like? It was held in the Grand Pavilion at Nottoway Plantation, which consisted of a giant white tent reception space and a courtyard with tables, a fountain, and a fireplace. The dance floor was packed the entire night! Our band, Press One for English, was fantastic and kept the crowd on their feet. We rented lots of vintage furniture, such as whiskey barrels, vintage dressers, and chandeliers. About 600 mason jars of various sizes held votive candles and lit up the tables, courtyard, and walkways at the plantation.

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about wearing my mother’s wedding dress and looking as beautiful as she did on her wedding day. After Michael proposed and we began planning our wedding, my mom took out her wedding dress, which had been boxed up since 1984. The dress fit almost perfectly! Of course, I knew there were a few things I wanted to change (like the giant puffy ’80s sleeves!), but with the help of our tailor, I knew it was going to be perfect for my big day. It was truly special to have my dad walk me down the aisle in the same dress my mom was wearing when he married her almost 30 years ago.

Did you include any Southern traditions in your wedding? Michael and are both very Southern and enjoy all of the traditions that the South has to offer. Having the wedding at Nottoway Plantation was Southern in itself, as it is the oldest antebellum mansion in the South. We prepared welcome bags for all of the guests staying on the plantation, and included water bottles with custom labels, mini burlap bags full of Louisiana spices, treats and snacks, and a weekend itinerary. At the reception, we did a cake pull with the bridesmaids, where each pulled a fortune charm from the cake.

Our wedding cake was a four-tiered white cake prepared by Ambrosia Bakery in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The cake filling alternated between cream cheese pecan and traditional cream. The cake was topped with flowers and surrounded by peaches. The groom’s cake was a replica of an Atlanta Braves baseball jersey, specifically Chipper Jones. Michael is a HUGE Braves fan and has cheered for the team since he was very young.

How did the two of you meet? Tell us your story. Michael and I met in 2002 during our freshman year of high school. We shared many of the same classes and quickly became friends. We were prom dates our junior year, and we officially dated during our senior year until we went our separate ways for college. During our time in college, Michael and I stayed in touch and caught up over holidays and summers back home. No matter how far apart we were, we were still great friends. During the summer of 2010, we both headed back to Baton Rouge. We spent the summer together and decided we were ready to start dating again. After that summer, Michael began his first year of law school at Mississippi College while I returned to Auburn for my final year of school. The long distance was tough at times, but it truly brought us closer together. After my graduation, I found a job in Baton Rouge, bringing us only 2.5 hours apart. For Michael’s last semester of law school, he was able to get an internship in Baton Rouge–we were glad to finally be living in the same city!!
Tell us about the proposal! In celebration of our two-year anniversary, Michael and I decided to spend a weekend in New Orleans. After relaxing in our room at the Hotel Monteleone, we headed to dinner at The Court of Two Sisters. The weather was beautiful and we had a table outside on the courtyard, underneath the hanging lights. After a delicious four-course meal, Michael left the table for the restroom, while I sat soaking up the wonderful evening. Upon his return, he got quite serious and said he wanted to discuss something with me. He started a speech about how much he loved me, everything we had been through, and how he wanted to spend forever with me. Then he got down on one knee, pulled a ring out of his pocket, and said, “Julie Marie Barth, will you marry me?” I was in complete shock!! When I finally came back to reality, I said “Of course I’ll marry you!” Our waiter brought out a new menu that said “The Court of Two Sisters welcomes Michael and Julie on their engagement.”
Three adjectives that describe the day are: Southern, unique, memorable
How many guests attended your wedding? Around 175
What was the most memorable or touching moment about your wedding day? The most special part of the ceremony was the reserved seats in the front row that remained empty in honor of our family members who had recently passed. One was for Michael’s great-grandmother, Maw-maw–she was an incredible lady and very important in our lives. She passed away in 2011. The other empty chair was in honor of my precious younger brother, Samuel Michael Barth, who died in a motor vehicle accident in November 2012. Losing him was the hardest time in my life, but taught me to appreciate every single moment. I did not know at the time, but was told afterwards about a very special moment–some people believe (myself included) that a dragonfly symbolizes the soul of a lost loved one. Since my brother passed away, I have had frequent encounters with dragonflies. During our reception, a dragonfly sat at the tip of the white tent for the entire evening. I know it was Sam watching over us and enjoying the party from the best seat in the house.
Were there any family traditions you included in the reception? I am the only girl that has been born into the Barth family in almost 100 years. Needless to say, most “Barth family weddings” involve one of the male cousins. At all the receptions, my dad and his three brothers would call out the new woman joining the family and induct her in with the “Barth family song,” an original created by my grandfather and his sons. About halfway through the reception, my dad and uncles hopped on stage and called Michael and I to join them. They welcomed Michael to the family, and of course, sang their rendition of the Barth family song.
What’s next for you as a couple? Since May, we have enjoyed our new life as a married couple. I have stayed extremely busy with nursing school and Michael with his career, but we still manage to make time for the silly adventures that we have always enjoyed together.

Photographer: Ashleigh Jayne Photography / Videographer: Dan Jones Film and Cinematography / Planning and Design: Angela Marie Events / Venue and Catering: Nottoway Plantation / Florist: Poppy & Mint Floral Company / Cake Baker: Ambrosia Bakery / Bride’s Shoes: BHLDN / Bridesmaid Dresses: Amsale / Hair Stylist: Alison Smith of Paris Parker Salon / Bow Ties: Me and Matilda / Signs and Banners: Whatchawant Design / Paper Goods: MillerLine Design / Rentals: Timeless Vintage Rentals / Linens: Ballard Designs and Doug Olinde, LLC / Monogrammed Forks: Found Purpose / Transportation: Ascension Golf Carts / Embroidery Hoops: Mama Bleu Designs / Ribbon Wands: kate kate nyc / Guest Book: Go Rustic / Boxes and Buttons: Pick Your Plum / Welcome Bags: Wedding Chicks / Ring Pillow: Hannah Aspens Bridal

marissa Written with love by Marissa
3 Comments
  1. avatar Stacy {Woodsy Weddings} reply

    The ring is stunning and with the story behind it, she couldn’t have gotten a better one! I love the ribbons to wave as the two walk through, cute and colorful!

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Last week we tackled one of the trickiest (and most common) wedding planning questions when we asked “how much does a wedding cost?” This week, we’re moving on to the next logical step: who ponies up the money? :) Read on for our thoughts on who pays what in the wedding!

See more from this engagement session by Elle Danielle on Facebook Friday!

According to Emily Post, “The days when the bride’s parents were expected to bear all the expenses of the wedding and reception are over. It’s now more common for engaged couples, especially those who are established wage earners, to pay all or most of the costs or at least to share some of the expense with their parents. The groom’s family may also make a substantial contribution.”

We tend to agree, as does the data! From a survey of 16,000 couples married in 2014, Splendid Insights found that 80% of respondents contributed to their wedding. 62% had parents who contributed to the wedding, and 35% had a partner whose parents contributed.

This pattern of a community coming together to pay for the wedding seems to hold true in the Southern Weddings office, as well. Marissa and Lisa reported to me that they, their parents, and their husbands’ parents all contributed or are contributing to their wedding budgets. Same goes for my household, except my grandmother was added into the mix, too! For all of us, the money all seemed to go into one pot, though the tradition of the groom’s parents paying for the rehearsal dinner seems to have some staying power.

Of course, while you might hope your parents will contribute, unless they make the first move, you still need to ask them! We’d recommend going into the conversation with a grateful heart and without expectations, being thankful for any contribution they’re willing and able to make. I’d also recommend taking the lead with your parents, and letting your fiance do the same with his.

Not all parents are willing or able to contribute financially, but they (or other friends!) might be pleased as punch to contribute in other ways on or before the wedding day: sewing napkins, stuffing envelopes, assembling favors, playing music, setting up your reception space, scouting vintage china, lending centerpiece vessels, addressing invitations, brewing beer, or baking desserts are all places to start! Graciously take people up on their kind offers whenever possible – not only will it help cut down on costs, but it can give your wedding a beautiful sense of community. In our experience, loved ones love being asked to play a role in the big day!

Finally, don’t despair if you’re financing your celebration on your own. Start saving as early as you can (just $5 a day over one year adds up to $1800!), and prioritize the parts of the wedding that matter most to you. And when all as fails, keep in mind that the quickest (though not the least painful) way to cut your overall budget is to lower your guest count.

Friends, I’d love to hear: who is paying for your wedding? You and your fiance? Some combination of your parents? Let us know in the comments!

P.S. More of our best budgeting advice.

We’ll be sharing a quick and simple piece of wedding planning advice based on our most frequently asked questions once a week! Feel free to email us with your own question, or pick up a copy of the Southern Weddings Planner for all of our best resources in one place!

emily Written with love by Emily
5 Comments
  1. avatar Anna reply

    My husband and I were so grateful that both of our parents were able to help contribute some to our wedding. After sitting down to talk with them and learn what they were gifting us, we supplemented the rest of our budget with our own savings. It was so important for us to do this before we started planning to have realistic expectations of what we would be able to afford for our big day!

  2. avatar Jen reply

    My parents decided on a set budget, and anything over that my fiancé and I will cover ourselves. It works out because we are blessed with funds to cover all of the basics, but we have the option to add a few more things if we’d like!

  3. avatar Stacy {Woodsy Weddings} reply

    I love the idea of a self-sufficient couple paying for their own celebration. With that said, I think graciously accepting any gift to help with your day is wonderful, too. It doesn’t take a huge budget to make a dream day!

  4. avatar Abby reply

    My parents wanted to go a very traditional route and paid for our wedding. They gave me a budget to stick to and we were able to plan the wedding we all wanted within that. I think my fiancee’s parents would have been happy to contribute but my parents actually refused. They have 4 sons and I am their only child so I think in their minds at the end of the day they were probably all spending the same on weddings in our lifetime. It was such a blessing to have that financial support, we would not have had the same wedding if it were left to us to pay for on our own and is giving us the ability to put our money towards a house in the future.

  5. avatar Samantha reply

    Help!

    Our 27 year old daughter met a 61 year old man 2 months ago and is now engaged planning a wedding!

    This is her first marriage and his 4th.

    She wants to sit down and talk about the wedding.

    What can her father and I expect to have to pay for?

    It just seems to me that the advanced age of her fiance’ would say that he should be paying for this wedding!

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

    Sincerely,
    Mom and Dad

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One of the best things about planning a wedding in the South is that we have a few extra months in the year that allow for an outdoor celebration. Katie and Zach took advantage of this opportunity to bring their vision of an outdoor ceremony and a reception under the stars to life at their Tuckahoe Plantation wedding. To ensure that the weather held out, they buried a bottle of bourbon a month before the big day–with temperatures of 72 degrees and plenty of sunshine on their mid-October wedding day, I think it’s safe to say that upholding this fun Southern tradition worked!

Thank you so much to Sarah Der for sharing Katie and Zach’s special day with us!

We used every bold autumnal color possible in the bouquets and the swag for the arbor. The mothers and grandmothers carried smaller bouquets instead of corsages, and the boutonnieres for the men were made of succulents, billy balls and berries. The three bridesmaids wore different colors that all tied into the florals. It was mismatched, but still went together in our multi-colored palette.

Just for fun, I went to Bella Rosa in Richmond with my mom and aunt a few days after Zach proposed. The appointment was hopefully going to give me a good idea of styles I liked and others I didn’t like. Well, upon walking in, I saw a dress hanging up and said, “That may be my dress.” It was the first one I tried on, and it encompassed everything I had imagined for the wedding–it was romantic, vintage-looking, and classic, and the beading was so unique. I had never seen anything quite like it. I tried seven more dresses on, just for the sake of comparison, and ended up buying the Wtoo “Emerson” dress at the end of the appointment. It truly was love at first sight! The dress was the first piece of the puzzle in creating my perfect vision for the big day.

What Southern details or traditions did you include in your celebration? What was Southern about your wedding? We buried a bottle of bourbon behind the arbor at Tuckahoe one month to the day before our wedding. We had a 72 degree and sunny day, so we are firm believers that this Southern tradition works!! I changed into boots for the reception, and the landscape of Tuckahoe truly set the Southern stage for the whole day.

Did you decide to do a “first look”? Why or why not? We did! Honestly, a large part of it was due to timing and the lighting in the fall. We knew that with a 3:00 ceremony, light was going to be running out after the cocktail hour. We also wanted to enjoy as much of the cocktail hour and reception as possible, so we wanted to get photos done first. Looking back, the first look was so special because it gave us an intimate time before standing in front of all of those people at the ceremony.

We wrote our own vows, and kept them secret until that day. We didn’t know what the other had written, and hearing them for the first time in front of all of our friends and family made the ceremony incredibly sacred to us. Zach’s favorite line from mine was, “I will always remember our love as it was on this day.” My favorite from Zach’s was “I vow to be yours entirely and forever, with no reservation or exceptions, today and every day, for the rest of our lives.”

Zach and I wanted to have an outdoor wedding in the fall–that was our highest priority. Next, we decided we wanted to have an open-air reception without a big tent. I found Tuckahoe Plantation by looking through other Richmond brides’ wedding photos online. My mom and I went to see it in January, and even in the cold, it was truly breathtaking–barren trees and all!

Tell us about some of the songs you used throughout your wedding and why you chose them. Our first dance was to “After the Storm” by Mumford & Sons. We are huge fans of Mumford, and this song brought tears to our eyes the first time we heard it on their album when we lived in North Carolina. That was such a wonderful period of our relationship and our lives; it brings back memories from the beginning of “us.”

The open-air reception under the stars and our long farm tables, so that everyone was seated in long rows, were two details that helped make our wedding so special. The weather could not have been nicer for October, and the open-air reception made it feel a lot more intimate than a tent. Our dinner was served family-style, so guests were passing bowls and plates of food, which felt so communal.

How did y’all meet? Tell us your love story. Despite growing up 50 miles apart and attending the University of Richmond together for three years, it wasn’t until our final year of undergrad that our paths finally crossed at the infamous Senior Toga Social. On that fateful September evening, I approached Zach because, to be very frank, he looked pretty darn handsome dressed in a white bed sheet. I had noticed him earlier that week in our mutual Acting 101 class, and a little liquid courage helped to start a conversation that sparked our relationship. As we enjoyed a magical senior year together, growing in love and trying to figure out the future beyond our diplomas, we were pretty unsure about where we would end up. After applying to companies and programs across the country, with a little bit of good fortune, we both landed jobs in North Carolina, and our story continued.
Tell us all about the proposal! Our landlord had helped create the guise that we needed to sign the lease for our house in the Fan. After lunch with Zach’s brothers, we found a parking spot in Carytown, and Matt and Dave quickly disappeared. Zach shakily took my hand and pulled me to the front doors of The Byrd Theater to “check out showtimes,” and at that point, I realized what was happening. Zach had had a few friends help him edit a video telling “the story of us,” set to The Old 97’s “Question.” It ended with a final super that read: “I’ve got a question for you…” After watching the movie in the place where we had gone on many dates before, I turned to him, and he was down on one knee asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. Cue me sobbing without a Kleenex in sight, and the balcony erupted with hoops and hollers from our families.
When did y’all get married? October 18, 2014
How many friends, family members, and loved ones attended your wedding? 150
Describe your wedding cake or dessert. Our family friend made three different autumnal flavors of cupcakes: bourbon maple bacon, s’mores with marshmallow filling, and apple spice cake.
What was one way you saved money or cut costs at your wedding? I made origami flowers for the centerpieces, so we saved a lot on flowers. A family friend made all of the cupcakes as her wedding gift to us, so that was a large savings as well. Across the board, we looked for the most affordable rental options, without sacrificing quality. We continually asked ourselves “Is this going to change the look and feel of our wedding?” and, “Is this worth the additional money?”
What is the one detail or vendor that you were so happy to have as a part of your wedding? Our live band was amazing, and I would not have traded that detail for the world. Zach knew Big Boss Man through his fraternity at University of Richmond, and they played their hearts out for us! Regarding vendors, I could not have been as stress-free without the help of our day-of coordinator, Amy. I was hesitant to spend money on a coordinator at first, but having her there directing all the vendors and timing was a tremendous help! I could not have been my own coordinator and still fully enjoyed every moment of the day.
What was your most memorable moment about your wedding day? The most memorable moment was walking up to our reception as the sun was starting to set. Seeing everyone seated, enjoying the music and conversation, laughing and dancing, was simply overwhelming. I remember Zach and I looking at each other with the biggest smiles on our faces. We were husband and wife, and we were about to have an incredible party with the people we love most.
What’s next for you as a couple? What are you most looking forward to about married life? We are so excited for our time together before starting our family. We want to see as much of the world as possible–we have already planned a few trips for 2015 and can’t wait to travel and make those memories together and with our families.

Photographer: Sarah Der Photography / Second shooter: Whitney Neal / Videographer: Two Cents Photography / Planner: Amy Lewis of McBride Events / Venue: Tuckahoe Plantation / Florist: Boulevard Flower Gardens / Dessert Baker: Peg Langdon / Caterer: Brock’s BBQ / Rentals: Classic Party Rentals / Lighting: Blue Steel Lighting / Band: Big Boss Man / Bride’s Gown: “Emerson” by Wtoo / Hair and Makeup: Annie Radigan / Bridesmaids’ Dresses and Groom’s Attire: J. Crew / String Quartet: Silverleaf String Quartet

lisa Written with love by Lisa
1 Comment
  1. avatar Sarah Der! reply

    Thanks for such a beautiful feature, SW!!!

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