Hey y’all! We’re back with another installment of Southern Etiquette. This time, a reader, Christina (who, by the way, LOVE LOVE LOVES SW mag – her words, not mine – yes!), sent in a conundrum that I’m guessing many of you are puzzling over. Christina writes:
“Recently I’ve seen weddings where the couple is trying to save money and therefore if you and your significant other aren’t married, you can’t bring them as a +1. It seems a bit awkward to have to ask, but some invites are tough to distinguish who is invited. Any thoughts on this?”
Why yes, Christina, I do have some thoughts to share on this subject, as I’m sure our readers do, as well. But first, as always, I defer to Ms. Post:
“The spouses, fiances/fiancees, and live-in partners of guests must be included, even if you don’t know them. But you get to decide if you want single, unattached guests to bring dates.” (Etiquette, 17th Edition, page 572)
Well, that’s pretty clear, and I don’t think many of us would dispute her there.
But what if your friend from college has been dating her current boyfriend (not fiancé) for a year and a half? The more budget-minded among you might be tempted to cut said boyfriend off the list in the name of saving $$$, but I (and this is just my opinion now) would urge you not to. Have you ever been to a wedding without a date? I have, and it wasn’t that fun. Since so many activities at a wedding seem to revolve around coupledom – particularly dancing – I think allowing a “plus one” for as many guests as possible (especially those who have a steady partner) is a courtesy that’s worth stretching the budget for.
But tell me – what do you all think? Are “plus ones” a splurge-worthy necessity or an unacceptable budget buster?
Images in header c/o Millie Holloman